Who here likes me and still wants to be friends?

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Blint
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28 Jun 2020, 7:31 pm

I'm cool with everyone so I'm pretty sure I'll be cool with you. :D


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TuskenR
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28 Jun 2020, 7:39 pm

Image


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sly279
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30 Jun 2020, 12:46 am

Hugs


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04 Jul 2020, 6:22 pm

sly279 wrote:
Only reply if yes.

I’m still learning who isn’t my friend anymore due to political differences.

I think dragonsandemons is.
Isabella is but not here anymore.


Hi Sly,

I have no issue with you personally or people who have strong political views antithetical to my own but I have an idea where all of this may be going south for you. Experiential Invalidation...

I am going to "sew the seam" first.

These are thought exercises... not at all my opinions about you!

What I see in your posts and responses is not a political opinion but an invalidation of the experiences of others.

For example, if you post that racism should not be discussed because it divides us, someone might call you a racist.

How do you feel when someone calls you that?
How would you feel when an NT says "Just act normal!"?
How would you feel if someone says that you are cruel?

You would feel upset that someone did not understand or care to understand you experience. You become "triggered", maybe even angry and melt like a "snowflake"

To which those people might say to you "Stop being so PC!"

If they call you a racist and you feel you are not... that invalidates your feelings.
If they tell you to act normal and you cannot, that invalidates your experience of being on the spectrum
If they tell you that you are cruel, that invalidates your experience of caring.

The seam has been sewn, lets turn the wrong side in and the right side out.

If you say racism is not an issue, you are invalidating the experience of people of color.
If you call someone PC, you are invalidating their ability to think for their own and have their own passion for justice.
If you label people as "leftists" you are invalidating the many reasons they may have views different from yours.

This is not politics, it is invalidation. We all have this feeling of invalidation here... it is EXACTLY what makes being ASD so painful and difficult.

Lots of us here are passionate about these issues because we live with our own version of invalidation every day. We are people of color or have loved ones who are.

I have a dear friend who is a young black man. He has told me what happens to him on a daily basis. I cannot understand this from his perspective but my own. If I say... "just relax man, it is no biggie!", I invalidate his experience because I am a white guy who isn't pulled over by the cops all of the time.

My experience is worrying that he will be killed by the police. It invalidates my experience with race when someone says to stop talking about it.

My wife is Vietnamese. People tell her to "Go Home". She is a proud American because her family was welcomed by our country. When I hear people poo-poo her experience of racism and difficulty (she is also ASD!) I get very upset. Is that being a PC snowflake? If it is... then I am those things.

Politics are fine.... there are plenty of conservatives and liberals and everything in between here. Unfortunately during this difficult time experiential invalidation is masquerading as politics.

Maybe you have a right wing view of how to help people of color... but don't ever invalidate people who are discussing issues that matter to them by calling them leftists or PC. If people attack or invalidate you, don't invalidate them back... turn the other cheek and ignore it.

If you listen to me here, change the abrasive language, validate the views of others by listening and share your views respectfully... dang, I will be your friend in a heartbeat!

This is written in full compassion for you. I value you as a person and I know you are having a tough time. I hope this helps.



kraftiekortie
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04 Jul 2020, 6:31 pm

Just because people are conservatives doesn’t make them racist rightists.

Just because one believes in social democracy doesn’t make them PC leftists.

There’s way too much hyperbole in American politics these days.



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04 Jul 2020, 6:44 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
Just because people are conservatives doesn’t make them racist rightists.

Just because one believes in social democracy doesn’t make them PC leftists.

There’s way too much hyperbole in American politics these days.


Agreed... that is experiential invalidation in my view. It is a disease that otherwise good people can catch and spread.



funeralxempire
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04 Jul 2020, 7:52 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
Just because people are conservatives doesn’t make them racist rightists.


Only a hypothetical, not an accusation against any posters:

If someone is consistently dismissive of others experiences with racism they will appear racist, even if their own ideological views allow them to dismiss the accusation. If someone consistently takes positions aligned with people who are openly racist and consistently invests effort in defending those positions but never appears to condemn openly racist people or invest effort in arguing those perspectives, it's reasonable that others might conclude that that person actually does hold racist views (or at least doesn't firmly hold the anti-racist views they might claim to hold), right?

I'm probably just paraphrasing Chain but I know I've brought this point up before. It isn't embracing conservative views, it's consistently investing energy in trying to minimize, invalidate and dismiss concern about racism. That shouldn't be required as part of identifying as a conservative or participating within the political right, so attacking it isn't the same as attacking conservatives simply for being conservative.

I'd still be friends with someone who does it, but they're always going to have it pointed out. If one is my friend I owe them honesty in such matters.


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cyberdad
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04 Jul 2020, 8:24 pm

I've had friends in the 3D world but never held on to them and watch them slip through my fingers

You are just as much a friend to me Sly as any other 2D avatar here on WP.

You also have a lot of untapped potential :)



envirozentinel
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05 Jul 2020, 12:19 am

MODERATOR NOTE: This thread is in the Haven. The rules for Haven are different. Discussions of a political nature are out of order here. Please keep those to News&Current and PPR.

This is a support thread for the OP and not a conversation about political viewpoints or opinions.

Thanks!


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kraftiekortie
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05 Jul 2020, 5:01 pm

Will you be my friend, Sly?



Archmage Arcane
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05 Jul 2020, 5:07 pm

I am not your enemy, Sly.



cyberdad
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05 Jul 2020, 8:34 pm

Well apparently Sly says he dislikes me on another thread so I officially revoke my invitation to friendship... :cry:



Pepe
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05 Jul 2020, 8:39 pm

cyberdad wrote:
Well apparently Sly says he dislikes me on another thread so I officially revoke my invitation to friendship... :cry:


You said, in another thread, that you are used to that.
Join the party. :mrgreen:


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Truth may be inconvenient but it is never politically incorrect...The Oracle of Truth has spoken...8)


cyberdad
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05 Jul 2020, 8:44 pm

True but I have invested time helping O'l Sly



envirozentinel
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05 Jul 2020, 11:19 pm

I appreciate that, and I think it's very good of you to reach out but you shouldn't refer to that thread on this one...thanks.


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sly279
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06 Jul 2020, 2:14 am

cyberdad wrote:
Well apparently Sly says he dislikes me on another thread so I officially revoke my invitation to friendship... :cry:

You treat me meanLy in other threads.

You’d spit on me one min then hour later pretend to want to have lunch with me.

I’m not falling for it. If you being Honest in wanting to be my friend then you’d be nice to me in other threads.


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