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Mutanatia
Velociraptor
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Joined: 1 Jun 2008
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 488

05 Nov 2009, 7:51 pm

I was wondering if any of you guys could find articles on the following things, or at least point me in the right direction. For of all, let me reintroduce myself to you:

i'm Greg. I was diagnosed with Asperger's the year i went into college. my underdeveloped social skills caused problems for me in college, but they have gotten better with time. My mom constantly points this out to me, and it's not a good feeling. It's almost as though...it's almost as though they're trying to tell me, "You don't have an excuse, so neener-neener." This lack of understanding between my family and myself has led me to become increasingly frustrated and irritable towards them. I mean, I like the praise, but every single time I say I use my social skills correctly, they go, "See? You CAN do blah blah blah." While this is meant as praise, again, I feel like this takes away from their understanding that, while my social skills are better, they're not NT-like. They may be CLOSE to NT like, but other things may cause me problems. Examples may include:

A) The sarcasm of my brother (I take things literally)
B) The seemingly nonstop pointing out of flaws by my mom (IE, you left something on the counter that should have been thrown away). This bothers me, because while I *do* spend lots of time in my room (mainly to avoid my parents and brother so as to avoid problems…not to mention I like having copious amounts of "alone time" during the day) , it gives the impression of her "Oh! i can't WAIT to tell you how you weren't perfect today." This leads to me feeling inadequate.
C) The seemingly nonstop "job advice" my mom gives me, which is to work retail. I have a job now. And though it's far from perfect (It's 10 hours a week as a volunteer on job site, 2 hours a week for a support group), as I *do* have COBRA and stuff to pay for, I feel that working retail is not a good firt for me. I can barely deal with the variety in personalities of the four people at my house. i seem to fare better at work, but then again it's all professional, and there's only maybe 1, 2, possibly three people at work. I have told them that I want to keep this job for at least 2 months before reapplying to GoodTemps to get a Temp job 9of any sort) that will make me more money.
D) Sometimes when i tell them about a specific symptom I am having, be it that sometimes I feel that I'm moving too fast--almost like my body movements are moving faster than I'm actually moving them (happens once in a while, dunno what causes it), or be that having increased irritability and/or meltdown-like symptoms that it's called "being symptomatic," I have on those two occasions been met with a rather harsh statement. For the former, it was "Stay off the caffeine." For the latter, I got funny looks, almost as though I was making excuses for myself--which I wasn't. I was, though, trying to bring that into focus as to what was causing my meltdowns recently (it was my training--long story--and had told them, "I think my training is making me symptomatic").

Finally, i just a had good hear to heart with them, which is like...a breakthrough for me :D

Anyways, I would like to find an article as to the following things (or maybe even a testimonial from one of you guys) about:
A) Why we take things literally, and how to communicate nonliteralness better
B) Why we like routines so much

Those are basically two of the major stumbling blocks that my family and I face daily, even when I'm not being irritable^



visagrunt
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Joined: 16 Oct 2009
Age: 53
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,118
Location: Vancouver, BC

05 Nov 2009, 9:42 pm

I recommend heading to the bookstore. There are a variety of titles out there that are specifically geared towards young adults and adults with AS, as well as to their families or partners.

I gave my partner my copy of "Asperger's from the Inside Out" (Carley, 2008) and he said that it was a help to him.


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