Why is one gender required to provide sex and other isn’t?

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Wolfram87
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03 Jul 2020, 1:12 pm

envirozentinel wrote:
James Bond was never real life.


Lies!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_Bond_(ornithologist)


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envirozentinel
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03 Jul 2020, 1:18 pm

^ I don't follow Caribbean birds that much.

Interesting!


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sly279
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03 Jul 2020, 1:21 pm

Fnord wrote:
sly279 wrote:
smudge wrote:
I agree, that doesn't sound right. Who said this?
Naming names is against the rules...
Discussing banned ex-members and locked threads is against the rules.  Naming names of people who post false information is not.  So it stands to reason that the person who told you that one gender is required to provide sex and the other isn't must obviously be a banned ex-member, and no one currently extent on this website.

By extension, it also stands to reason that the idea that one gender is required to provide sex and the other isn't is worthy of being discarded as well.

Nope not banned and it was in a l&D thread.


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that1weirdgrrrl
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03 Jul 2020, 5:33 pm

The issue is on those women, not on you.

You should never feel forced to do something you are not comfortable with.

If you care about each other, you should be able to discuss your anxiety and they should be patient and understanding.

That will be a much better relationship in the long run


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KT67
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03 Jul 2020, 5:46 pm

Nobody of any gender should HAVE to. That goes against consent.

Sexist assumptions assume that men WANT TO. That men are always 'up for it'. That women 'give it up'.

Also that men don't want nice romantic things.



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04 Jul 2020, 5:54 pm

Nobody should ever have to provide sex, unless they want to.


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Pepe
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05 Jul 2020, 4:28 am

Teach51 wrote:
envirozentinel wrote:
It should all be about mutual respect and feeling comfortable with each other.


^^ This. I don't expect anything in a relationship. Some women if they feel their partner is going too slowly will initiate sex. There is a trend now of thinking that if a woman doesn't want sex fairly quickly then the man will move on to where sex is available, I hear that even young teenage girls are pressured into giving oral sex and taking nude pictures so that they will be popular. This is outrageous and devoid of any true, caring connection.

Communication is the key here, caring enough to explore what each partner needs, believes, feels. The "norm" should be ignored and each couple should be free to create their own rules and sexual lifestyle without feeling deficient or odd, one that adds to their well being and quality of life.
One important thing though is that NT women will often be offended if the man does not try and bed her even if she would say no let's wait. Women would feel undesirable and not sexy in such a case but when the man makes a move the women will refuse, not wanting to seem "easy." It is not an easy thing for men to work out what women want at all. :D


I wouldn't know.
What's a "Woman"? :scratch:

Tell me about the complexity of modern life. :roll:
I only learnt about the "3 dates and you're in like Flynn" thing a couple of years ago,
And that was from the TV series: The Big Bang Theory. 8O


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Pepe
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05 Jul 2020, 4:38 am

envirozentinel wrote:
James Bond was never real life. In fact some of it was pretty well sexist in the way women were portrayed as little more than new conquests.


Context, my little furry friend.

Weren't most of the women portrayed, in the James Bond movies, spies?
Sex was simply a tool of the trade.

It took me some time to get my head around that concept when I was young, let me tell you! 8O

Now, where is that Mata Hari chickie babe? :scratch: :mrgreen:


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The_Face_of_Boo
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05 Jul 2020, 12:08 pm

I am Boo, Face Of Boo. 8)



sorrowfairiewhisper
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05 Jul 2020, 12:23 pm

In the animal kingdom and with us humans, the male seeks the females, they do the chasing, they are the chasers, we're the choosers. They do the pursuing, we do the deciding. They provide, we nurture. It's all mixed up these days, hence why theirs more divorces, failed several relationships ect. If a man demands sex and a women says no, then let him leave. if he loves you, he'll wait and be there for you!

Love and sex, should be mutual, consensual. No pressure, no demands, no giving in to one another. If someone threatens to leave you, put there needs before you or there interests or faith, then let them go! everything should be based on compromises, love and trust, mutual and reciprocal, consensual ect.



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05 Jul 2020, 12:55 pm

Having committed to a long-term relationship, one partner should not deny sex to the other without a good reason. Of course there might be a good reason, but not being in the mood shouldn't be one of them. The understanding that each enjoys and desires sex with the other should have been a basis for the relationship to begin with. I honestly think one partner should make an honest effort to accommodate the other's physical urges even when they aren't necessarily in the mood to begin with. I think if you can't get yourself into the mood enough to at least satisfy your partners' urges at the time (something over which most of us have little control anyway) then there's something wrong with the relationship and you need to address that or else consider ending the relationship.

I do agree if one partner is actually "demanding" sex then something is seriously wrong but the reason for that needs to be addressed. It's a symptom not the disease.


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Wolfram87
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05 Jul 2020, 1:08 pm

Pepe wrote:
envirozentinel wrote:
James Bond was never real life. In fact some of it was pretty well sexist in the way women were portrayed as little more than new conquests.


Context, my little furry friend.

Weren't most of the women portrayed, in the James Bond movies, spies?
Sex was simply a tool of the trade.

It took me some time to get my head around that concept when I was young, let me tell you! 8O

Now, where is that Mata Hari chickie babe? :scratch: :mrgreen:



Well that, and Ian Fleming apparently figures that lesbians are created by molesting 12 year olds, so who even knows with him.


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05 Jul 2020, 1:13 pm

MaxE wrote:
Having committed to a long-term relationship, one partner should not deny sex to the other without a good reason. Of course there might be a good reason, but not being in the mood shouldn't be one of them. The understanding that each enjoys and desires sex with the other should have been a basis for the relationship to begin with. I honestly think one partner should make an honest effort to accommodate the other's physical urges even when they aren't necessarily in the mood to begin with. I think if you can't get yourself into the mood enough to at least satisfy your partners' urges at the time (something over which most of us have little control anyway) then there's something wrong with the relationship and you need to address that or else consider ending the relationship.

I do agree if one partner is actually "demanding" sex then something is seriously wrong but the reason for that needs to be addressed. It's a symptom not the disease.


Eh no. You can control yourself. (I mean not when the urge hits but what you do about it).

The urge will pass.

What do you think single people do?



Archmage Arcane
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05 Jul 2020, 5:23 pm

Agree with you 100% here, Sly.

Sorry if it sounds like a PC response (because I'm not PC), but the disparity you describe may be someone's idea of a traditional male gender role. It's utter horse-hockey. If you don't want to have sex, don't. Your partner should respect that decision. This rule is gender-neutral.

No means no.

I've run into this a couple of times in dating. Being Aspie, I need to know someone very well within the context of a committed relationship before I can have sex. It just won't work otherwise. That was just as much the case when I was 25 as it is now.



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05 Jul 2020, 11:36 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
I am Boo, Face Of Boo. 8)


Judging by your avatar,
I think life/evolution created a "Boo Boo". :mrgreen:


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Pepe
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05 Jul 2020, 11:40 pm

hurtloam wrote:
MaxE wrote:
Having committed to a long-term relationship, one partner should not deny sex to the other without a good reason. Of course there might be a good reason, but not being in the mood shouldn't be one of them. The understanding that each enjoys and desires sex with the other should have been a basis for the relationship to begin with. I honestly think one partner should make an honest effort to accommodate the other's physical urges even when they aren't necessarily in the mood to begin with. I think if you can't get yourself into the mood enough to at least satisfy your partners' urges at the time (something over which most of us have little control anyway) then there's something wrong with the relationship and you need to address that or else consider ending the relationship.

I do agree if one partner is actually "demanding" sex then something is seriously wrong but the reason for that needs to be addressed. It's a symptom not the disease.


Eh no. You can control yourself. (I mean not when the urge hits but what you do about it).

The urge will pass.

What do you think single people do?


Eat Pizza?
Well, that's my go-to. :wink:

<Pepe thinks: How the hell am I going to get rid of all those pizza boxes? 8O >


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Laughter is the best medicine. Age-appropriate behaviour is an arbitrary NT social construct.
Don't tell me white lies. Gaslight me at your peril. Don't give me your bad attitude.
If I'm so bad, pass me by. ;)


And one more thing,




Truth may be inconvenient but it is never politically incorrect...The Oracle of Truth has spoken...8)