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markun
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

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Joined: 14 Mar 2008
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 86

04 Oct 2011, 6:21 am

I have just moved house and I have a flatmate for the first time in 4 years. I am a bit stressed with the move but am doing ok.

Is there anything I need to remember to ask or to bear in mind with sharing a flat?

I checked about morning routines, rubbish and recycling and how to use the dishwasher and washing machine (but I think I will get my laundry done because I hate dealing with that and can't iron very well).

We get on ok, I used to work with him and he is clean and quiet so it should be alright but I don't want to mess up by not doing what I'm supposed to do or is expected that I am unaware of.



izzeme
Veteran
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Joined: 4 Apr 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,665

04 Oct 2011, 11:08 am

first thing you should tell anyone you work/live with; explain that you do not really understand subtility and ask them that you prefer and frustrations to be told bluntly.
from that point, you can build on with whatever happens to need work



roast_chicken
Emu Egg
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Joined: 6 Oct 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 7

07 Oct 2011, 7:23 am

Oh god, I absolutely loathe living with other people. I recently got kicked out of my last flat and goodness knows why. I thought I was a good flatmate - paid the bills, tried to be tidy, tried to contribute to the chores, I wasn't noisy or inconsiderate and I hardly ever invited friends over. My flatmate was one of these people who expected me to "guess" what I was meant to do and it was incredibly unhelpful.

I could tell something was wrong towards the end, because when I tried to make conversation with my flatmate, she would answer all of my questions really abruptly and wouldn't engage with me at all. I tried to do my best to make her happy, but I ended up just feeling incredibly anxious about living there with them and would retreat into my room and just sit on my laptop with my headphones on listening to music all the time. When I bumped into anyone, I would just scurry into my room like a frightened rabbit.

I don't understand why people don't just tell you straight up what is wrong, it would make life so much easier. Anyway, like I said, I got kicked out and now I am living by myself. It really hurt getting kicked out, especially because I couldn't figure out why - it felt like I had something fundamentally wrong with me/something missing (have felt like this most of my life). However, it is getting to be way too expensive for me, so I will probably have to move back into a flat and I am absolutely dreading it!

I suppose disclosure is probably the best possible thing you can do, although I am a little concerned that this will jeopardise my chances of being picked in the first place.