How do you prefer to communicate with other people?

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motherof2
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21 Mar 2011, 9:18 pm

I hate phone calls. I avoid them if I can. For work they are always short and to the point. Talking to family or friends makes more so nervous. What do I say? How much do they want to talk? I have all these thoughts going through my head and the anxiety takes over. My brother just called me. I think I will text him.

I am better face to face, but get tired around people. I went to a party for people from my husband's work. I did not know anyone. He is the one on the spectrum and he is fine (talked about beer all night with the other beer geeks). Then a birthday party with our friends the next day. I had to leave early because I was so tired. I just watched tv alone after. My husband is fine alone on the computer but he seeks me out when I am like this sometimes. After work and the kids are in bed, I just want to be alone and watch tv.



LostInEmulation
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22 Mar 2011, 3:47 am

I prefer to talk synchronously instead of asynchronously.

I also prefer to use the phone than to go somewhere IRL and talk to real people. I am quite comfortable with using the phone (in my job in technical support, I need to be), though I also feel very comfortable using chat.


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22 Mar 2011, 11:17 am

I prefer forums like this and others, I can agree or disagree without causing too much discomfort, I don't have to remember who anyone is or have any personal attachment or interest in anyone, I can write what I mean and not what just falls out of my mouth.

At work I prefer emails which is something I get told off for a lot. I have been told I can't build relationships or show empathy by email - funny that!!

I don't mind talking on the phone but am uncomfortable if someone else is in the room and may be listening especially at work (another issue).

In person I am not very good, I often speak for the sake of it because I know I have to and so say something silly because I either can't think of the correct thing fast enough or my brain switches off altogether. When I was younger I mostly just didnt reply. I do feel tho that people are not real friends unless you can comfortably speak to them face to face without dreading the event beforehand.



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23 Mar 2011, 6:51 am

I prefer to communicate live. I find it harder to interact when I choose one of the written forms. Narrative can be harder to do either. Due to unlimited interactions, speaking live helps me out more with this problem.

I feel I can discuss some topics better via phone than live, and vice versa.


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Yensid
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23 Mar 2011, 7:31 am

To me, the worst is handwriting. I hate writing. My penmanship is horrible and writing legibly is a real pain.

I don't like text messaging. Typing into those small keyboards is really difficult for me.

Face-to-face can be good, and in some ways face-to-face is unbeatable. Nothing is more intimate or more intense. That said, there are a lot of distractions. I'm more self conscious. I have trouble making eye contact. I'm more easily distracted.

E-mail and PM have some advantages. I have time to think about what I am saying. I can edit to my heart's content. I can refer to previous messages, so that I can be sure that I'm addressing all issues. I can choose to cancel a conversation completely, if I decide that I'm speaking nonsense. Forum posts are similar, but they have the disadvantage and advantage of being public. I can address a lot more people at the same time, but I have to be more careful about what I say.

Telephone is probably the best for me. I can close my eyes and avoid distractions. I can focus completely on the conversation. I don't have to worry about things like body language.


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23 Mar 2011, 7:32 am

My favourite form of communication is via e-mail. Skype messaging and instant messengers are a bit stressful for me as they require immediate reaction and I am prone to faux pas when I am pressed to reply quickly.
Texting is a favourite too, as I have time to think things over before I send or reply to message.

I could tolerate some face-to-face conversations but only if they are one to one or in a small group as I can't keep track of more than one conversation at a time and even of a single conversation if there is, for an example, a radio on nearby.

Perhaps the least favoured form of communication for me is by telephone. Don't know why exactly, sometimes I think that it stems out from my unwillingness to ask people about anything. I only call very close friends or my mother and even then I might feel uneasy and try to get someone else to do it for me.

Handwriting is the thing I leave out of consideration completely as it is unpleasant, even painful and the result is grossly illegible so that nobody but me could read it anyway.



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23 Mar 2011, 8:52 am

Severus wrote:
Handwriting is the thing I leave out of consideration completely as it is unpleasant, even painful and the result is grossly illegible so that nobody but me could read it anyway.

I always wondered why I have such a bad handwriting. I'm not alone. 8)



OddDuckNash99
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23 Mar 2011, 9:55 am

Other than my mother, who I like to talk to face to face (and she's the only person who I LIKE to talk on the phone to), I prefer to interact with everybody via e-mail or PMs on forums. I can express myself much better in writing, and I can delete something if I didn't say it right the first time.


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23 Mar 2011, 12:37 pm

I would prefer telepathically, but at the present, that's not possible. So I'd prefer in person or phone, preferably at a prearranged time. I need that reassurance I'm actually communicating with the other person. I don't get that from emails and I hate IM.



keerawa
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24 Mar 2011, 1:18 am

I prefer text-based, asynchronous communication, like forum posts and email. I can take my time, edit, etc. However I recently realized that I have a tendency, when those include personal or emotional content from people, to get really anxious about replying, flag them to reply to later, and then just ... never get around to it.

Face-to-face would be my next choice, since you have the most information about people.

Then synchronous text interfaces.

The phone is the WORST way for me to communicate! It takes SO MUCH attention to figure out what people are saying, feeling, if they are being sarcastic, etc. I get exhausted.



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24 Mar 2011, 5:47 pm

OddDuckNash99 wrote:
Other than my mother, who I like to talk to face to face (and she's the only person who I LIKE to talk on the phone to), I prefer to interact with everybody via e-mail or PMs on forums. I can express myself much better in writing, and I can delete something if I didn't say it right the first time.

Exactly the same here.

OJani wrote:
Severus wrote:
Handwriting is the thing I leave out of consideration completely as it is unpleasant, even painful and the result is grossly illegible so that nobody but me could read it anyway.

I always wondered why I have such a bad handwriting. I'm not alone. 8)

For all I know, you are not at all alone as poor motor skills are very common in ASD. Most of us here practically can't and won't write by hand.



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24 Mar 2011, 5:49 pm

Severus wrote:
OJani wrote:
Severus wrote:
Handwriting is the thing I leave out of consideration completely as it is unpleasant, even painful and the result is grossly illegible so that nobody but me could read it anyway.

I always wondered why I have such a bad handwriting. I'm not alone. 8)

For all I know, you are not at all alone as poor motor skills are very common in ASD. Most of us here practically can't and won't write by hand.


I forgot to mention how terrible my handwriting is when I also mentioned how painful it is.



patiz
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24 Mar 2011, 7:54 pm

I always stand side by side when talking to other people. I can't do the face to face thing.

Texting is a god send in developing a social network for me.

Phones calls OMG no no no noooooo!

e-mail is so not useful, text is much more immediate.

Hand writing, where do i start, my hand writing is like a drunk spider on speed, it slopes down from left to write, i end up blank like the paper I'm writing on, ewww. :wall:



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24 Mar 2011, 8:07 pm

Oddly enough, I prefer to talk face-to-face or in the phone. I am very bad at it, though - I mumble and speak unclearly, mess up words, forget words, repeat words several times in a row, have awful sentence structures and grammar, etc.
But it's still so much faster than communicating via text. And well, this is all relating to my native language, not english. It's easier to write/type in english than in my native language, because I always worry over whether I should use more literary language or spoken language and, not being able to use either truly comfortably, end up using a mix of both that probably comes across as a bit awkward....Plus, it's way easier to write my thoughts down in english than in my own language. I don't quite know why, perhaps because I mostly think in english and due to the aforementioned issue.

And, in order for me to bother to write something down, what I'm writing has to be something interesting, or it'll feel like a chore, a bother, like doing schoolwork you're not into.
Speaking doesn't feel like a chore. Don't know why. Guess that's the main reason.

What I hate the most? Text messages (as in a cell phone)! It takes me ages to type up a short message. I mean, I have to push a button, search the letter, accidentally miss the letter and have to go over the list again, then miss again then perhaps nail it the next time. And then I have to wait a while or it'll change the same letter instead of creating a new one after the current one. It's such a bother. Bleh.