How many Aspies Experience this???
ghostar
Velociraptor

Joined: 20 Dec 2011
Age: 40
Gender: Female
Posts: 403
Location: Most likely work. Sigh.
A fair few manage to know just enough to be infatuated and think they're falling for me, which I guess is understandable: I'm smart, talented, apparently good-looking, witty when I can remember how to talk, and apparently good social graces are easy to mistake for actually caring.

However, all these people have seen is my social mask; they've never spoken more than a sentence to me underneath it.
Only once you've spoken to me rather than the social persona, and done so at length, and seen my flaws as well as my good points, will I be willing to credit your feelings as actual love.
So yes after all that... no I haven't experienced it.
I don't see the appeal of becoming new people together with someone; I'm quite fine with who I am, and if I love someone I don't want them to change as I like who they are already.
This describes me exactly.

I am the one that leaves. However, I am now married to a wonderful man who is just as aspie and independent-minded as I am. I always dated neurotypicals before because as a person with really no interest in sex, or games, or the chase I just thought that a nice nuerotypical is what I should want. I am fiercely and stubbornly independent, but my relationship is better for it this time. We have our own rooms, our own interests, our own space, but a similar sense of honesty, justice and humor! I get bored with shallow neurotypicals who can't hold an interesting conversation longer than 30 seconds.
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Tonight you can't put me up on any shelf
Because I came here alone and I'm gonna leave by myself!
Gnatterfly:
"I am the one that leaves. However, I am now married to a wonderful man who is just as aspie and independent-minded as I am. I always dated neurotypicals before because as a person with really no interest in sex, or games, or the chase I just thought that a nice nuerotypical is what I should want. I am fiercely and stubbornly independent, but my relationship is better for it this time. We have our own rooms, our own interests, our own space, but a similar sense of honesty, justice and humor! I get bored with shallow neurotypicals who can't hold an interesting conversation longer than 30 seconds. "
I envy you Gnatterfly!
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My whole life has been an exercise in original thinking. While I was looking in vain for the answers in books, I found them within myself.
nick007
Veteran

Joined: 4 May 2010
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 23,819
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in the police state called USA

Stuff in bold is one of the bigger problems I have with trying to get in relationships with NTs but stuff you mentioned about independence is like the polar opposite of me; I think the perfect ideal for me would be an Aspie who's codependent
_________________
"I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem!"

^^^^^^
this
_________________
"I feel as if I am walking in the rain, everyone else has an umbrella,
but I do not. I am soaked to the bone and shivering from the cold."

^^^^^^
this
Seriously.
_________________
Aspie score: 181 of 200
neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 21 of 200
AQ score: 42
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