Hard to understand 'talking dirty'

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KuRowbot
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29 Dec 2011, 1:56 pm

It's a little hard for me to understand the whole, 'talking dirty' thing.
It's when a woman wants you to say dirty things to her to turn her on.
It feels a bit awkward and forced to talk like that.
Any advice?


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Tequila
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29 Dec 2011, 1:59 pm

KuRowbot wrote:
It's when a woman wants you to say dirty things to her to turn her on.


This is probably best in the Adult Autism Issues forum.



KuRowbot
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29 Dec 2011, 2:02 pm

Tequila wrote:
KuRowbot wrote:
It's when a woman wants you to say dirty things to her to turn her on.


This is probably best in the Adult Autism Issues forum.
Oh, crap. My bad.
That's what I was missing earlier, too...
If a mod would kindly delete this forum.


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DW_a_mom
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29 Dec 2011, 2:22 pm

If you want to have this conversation here, you just have to keep it clean, and not get into specific examples, IMHO.

I think your real issue is that you just don't like the type of conversation. And, you know what? You don't have to. There are all sorts of tastes out there. While it is great to sometimes do something just because your partner likes it, having too many large gaps in taste can impair your ability to be comfortable in the relationship, and at some point you have to wonder if you are truly compatible with the person. But ... consider this, as well: if you were truly meant to be with someone, then it wouldn't matter if you didn't personally care for what she wanted from you: you'd want to do it just to see her reaction.


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Kenjuudo
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29 Dec 2011, 2:22 pm

KuRowbot wrote:
Tequila wrote:
KuRowbot wrote:
It's when a woman wants you to say dirty things to her to turn her on.


This is probably best in the Adult Autism Issues forum.
Oh, crap. My bad.
That's what I was missing earlier, too...
If a mod would kindly delete this forum.
Mod: Please don't delete the entire forum...


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Asp-Z
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29 Dec 2011, 2:49 pm

If this thread does indeed belong in adult, a mod will move it as necessary.

I find it forced and awkward to talk dirty IRL or on the phone, too. I've never really seen the point TBH.



nick007
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29 Dec 2011, 3:56 pm

I have problems with dirty talk because I don't get the point in talking about something that we aren't doing. . I think I'm too unimaginative for dirty talk. I never did any pretend play as a kid either


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29 Dec 2011, 4:19 pm

It helps if you have a scenario of fantasy in mind and the other person could just play along. Then it should become easier, like acting. I used to think it was stupid years ago but I think its because I wasn't sexually aware. It doesn't have to be continuous vulgar, verbal diarrhea either (unless you both like that, then have at it).



The_Face_of_Boo
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29 Dec 2011, 4:22 pm

Watch Austin Powers movies over and over again.....

Image

Oh Yeah baby!! !



Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 29 Dec 2011, 4:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.

zeldapsychology
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29 Dec 2011, 4:22 pm

I never understood pretend things either such as in my recent speech class we pretended we knew a dead famous person and gave there eulogy. It totally through me off guard since I couldn't imagine it.



Asp-Z
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29 Dec 2011, 4:24 pm

To clarify, my issue is not with imagining fantasies, but finding that just saying them is awkward and pointless. I'm fine with dirty talking via text messages and stuff. I have quite a vivid imagination :P



curlyfry
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29 Dec 2011, 4:28 pm

Asp-Z wrote:
To clarify, my issue is not with imagining fantasies, but finding that just saying them is awkward and pointless. I'm fine with dirty talking via text messages and stuff. I have quite a vivid imagination :P


I wonder if it has something to do with hearing your own voice saying the stuff as opposed to texting?



Asp-Z
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29 Dec 2011, 4:31 pm

curlyfry wrote:
Asp-Z wrote:
To clarify, my issue is not with imagining fantasies, but finding that just saying them is awkward and pointless. I'm fine with dirty talking via text messages and stuff. I have quite a vivid imagination :P


I wonder if it has something to do with hearing your own voice saying the stuff as opposed to texting?


Maybe. I think it must make me more self-conscious.



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29 Dec 2011, 4:33 pm

KuRowbot wrote:
It's a little hard for me to understand the whole, 'talking dirty' thing.
It's when a woman wants you to say dirty things to her to turn her on.
It feels a bit awkward and forced to talk like that.
Any advice?

Seems to me there are several ways of looking at this.

If this really turns you off - like, disgusts you or feels morally/ethically wrong - just don't do it. Try to understand why you object, and be prepared to explain why you decline, but don't let the conversation get too heavy unless this is actually a dealbreaker for either of you (my guess is it isn't).

If it doesn't really turn you off - like, you have no personal moral/ethical objection but it's just awkward and forced - well, so are lots of things until you get the hang of them, so why not give it a try (it will probably make you both laugh).

If this is merely one of lots of differences, where she is pushing you well beyond your comfort zone, this could be part of a pattern that you have been alerted to in your relationship. Only you can say whether this is a good or bad dynamic for you. You don't have to take an all-or-nothing approach but would be sensible to approach each thing separately. It is absolutely your choice whether to go along with some, none, or all of such challenges. On such superficial matters, most healthy relationships allow plenty of room to change your mind, because we all need to evolve. So pick your battles (not everything need be a fight to the death) and let this loving experience be part of what guides you to become the person you truly are and wish to be.

Above all, remember to enjoy. :)



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30 Dec 2011, 8:04 pm

I read some advice a while back about how to feel more comfortable "talking dirty" and I thought it was pretty effective: verbally describe what you're doing to your partner, and what they're doing to you. It sounds kinda simple, but it really can be an effective way to ease yourself into it - and it's kinda sexy.


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31 Dec 2011, 2:18 pm

I know enough dirty talk, anyone need teaching?


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