Being rejected for a reasonable reason VS a stupid reason

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as408
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01 Apr 2012, 1:08 am

When somebody decides to reject me, how can I discern if it's because of:
#1 something I did (ie: inadvertent offending, talking too much, coming off as insensitive, etc)
OR
#2 stupid reason (brown skin color, eyeglasses, clothing style, etc)?

The obvious answer is to briefly look at the issue, see if I did anything wrong and move on.
problem? what if I'm missing something!



Wogar
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01 Apr 2012, 6:56 am

Discerning the reason can be tricky. I got thrown out of college for the first reason. :cry: That one is a bit more likely. In the second case, they'll likely tell you about it directly.


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izzeme
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01 Apr 2012, 7:33 am

the only surefire way to find out which reason it is is to ask the person rejecting you.
if it's reason #2 or the person doesn't hold grudges, he/she will tell you, if said person doesn't tell you, it's most likely reason #1



namaste
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01 Apr 2012, 8:23 am

usually people discern me because i am too dumb, naive or not able to interpret social cues
rarely its been the reason 2


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CaptainTrips222
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08 Apr 2012, 11:18 am

as408 wrote:
When somebody decides to reject me, how can I discern if it's because of:
#1 something I did (ie: inadvertent offending, talking too much, coming off as insensitive, etc)
OR
#2 stupid reason (brown skin color, eyeglasses, clothing style, etc)?

The obvious answer is to briefly look at the issue, see if I did anything wrong and move on.
problem? what if I'm missing something!


Well, if it were that straightforward, we probably wouldn't need advice sites like WP. People are seldom forthcoming about the REASON they reject you. Often they haven't even articulated it to themselves.

Also: Similar reasons that could easily fit into #1 category, but are just as trivial as those in #2: being too shy, too quiet, not funny enough, not "cool" enough, looking like someone they don't like, not being attractive enough, too aloof, too serious, not liking what they like, jealousy... we can do this forever. People almost like to find things to dislike, I swear. :roll:



namaste
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08 Apr 2012, 12:02 pm

CaptainTrips222 wrote:
People almost like to find things to dislike, I swear. :roll:

they get loads of people who are just like them so they dont think twice before rejecting others.


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Aspertastic424
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10 Apr 2012, 12:42 am

A lot of people can be pretty stupid and mean. Not everybody is stupid and mean. If people reject you, for a reasonable reason or not, that means your rejected, end of story. Forget them and find other people. Quickly!



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19 Jan 2018, 9:42 pm

I'd rather have ONE good friend, as opposed to one hundred fake ones.


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Summer_Twilight
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20 Jan 2018, 9:38 pm

I get rejected because of stupid reasons which are

1. I have a strong personality where I am very outspoken and straightforward which scares others away.
2. I get rejected because I am hyper
3. I get rejected because I talk too much
4. Most people who reject me are the shallow kind who are insecure and reject me because of number 1.



madbutnotmad
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30 May 2019, 12:15 pm

There are all sorts of reasons why people reject individuals.
We can only control how we ourselves act, how others act is out of our control.

From the years i have lived on this planet, i have come to the conclusion that a great
deal of human behaviour can be reduced to primitive bullying so as to capitalise out of what
ever the situation has to offer.

It a great deal of ways, success in this world is not always down to logical reasons,
and often can be the result of successful social interaction, with the success being the result
of selfish primitive animalistic behaviours rather than fair or logical transactions or the outcome
of good fair moral behaviour.

A great deal of human behaviour is animalistic masked by intellectualism and skull duggery.



Summer_Twilight
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30 May 2019, 8:27 pm

Most of these aren't a loss of friendship but they are good and bad

Reasonable reason If:
1. One repeatedly steps over the other person's boundaries when asked to stop
2. Both parties are not compatible
3. Friend goes on a date with their significant other and would not be allowed to invite a friend
4. One doesn't know people at a girl's night who close friend went to high school with and vice versa
5. If an event is designed for a specific group like a church might only invite couples to a special valentines day dinner
6. If a friendship just isn't healthy

Stupid
1. If you have a close friend who can't invite you because their other friends don't approve of you because you are different from them
2. Someone doesn't live up to the standards of another person or other people
3. If you don't come from a certain social class or go to some elite school
4. If you don't practice religion according to other people's standards
5. If someone happens to be jealous of you because of XYZ reason