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Ghosthunter
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02 Apr 2005, 8:15 pm

[Feste-Fenris
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That said there's a burning question;
we all know that autistics suck at militarism
(no social organization, individualism) but
are capable of superhuman berserking
and have bizarre forms of willpower
(I've seen it before)...]

A long time ago there was a boy
who would walk into conversations, and
wonder why he was rejected by most.
This boy would grow up and when
things like emotions overwhelmed him
would throw boxes and whatever to
remove these venomous feelings of
misunderstanding. Years will have
pass and he became silent, but this
venomous feeling would find other
options to express.
Then came Mr.Focus. He would
from within the mind of the boy turned
adolesent, then young adult guide and
show patience as the venoum feelings
would become more complacent to
Mr.Focuses good intentions.
Sometimes it took pain, suffering,
starvation, and many variable to tame
the venomous feeling but patience of
Mr.Focus would stand firm.


Back to present:

It is now April 2nd, 2005 and I am
called to work on my relaxing
S.F "computer" flea day. I am
placed with a supervisor(her again...)
that is most unpleasant. I hear
here gripe about my slowness,
that she would love to fire me,
and the rest of the staff. I do
my best to stay I-Physical. slowly
customers come, then comes
venomous thought.

One mistake begins another, and
the minutes of failure become
successive bombardment that
my focus on I-Physical couldn't
take all at once. She(Superv')
gripes, customers don't know
how to be consistent and it's
"ALWAYS" my fault gripes sup'
and she says then speed it up.

Venomous thoughts come, I-physical
head lowers, eye's can't be met
until the final blow. I will have....
and when I give her the total
sale she says that total is wrong
and I reverify, sup' is griping, line
is developing. sup' takes over and
head dropping, eye's not focusing,
and sup' griping I would later write
this.

I want to growl, scream, throw
boxes but my focus say's WAIT
AND LET EVENTS TAKE THERE
COURSE. Another round at
the dorm setting front desk
is soon to come and I write
this so venomous thought is
no more.

THIS IS A RANT?
THIS IS A FEELING!(YES)
IS THERE A QUESTION?(NO)

"I JUST HAD TO LET VENOMOUS
THOUGHT BE IN A NEUTRAL FORM"

Question:
If you may have a similar day I would
like to know.



Last edited by Ghosthunter on 02 Apr 2005, 10:37 pm, edited 1 time in total.

axelkat
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02 Apr 2005, 8:28 pm

Are you saying that writing down bad thoughts helps ease the stress? I do that all the time only not in public.
A


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Ghosthunter
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02 Apr 2005, 10:31 pm

I agree, it is confusing when I
read it past tense, yet it is to reflect
a on the spot feeling uncensored
that might reflect some that you
folks may have experienced.
Also it allowed me to
de-venomize myself of part of the
day.

Ghosthunter



pyraxis
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03 Apr 2005, 3:10 am

I haven't had a day like this recently, but it's certainly happened. One thing I used to do is write situations out as if they were a scene in a novel. Helped make more sense of them. And made them seem more real than when they were just running circles in my head.

I hope your work goes better tomorrow.



ed
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03 Apr 2005, 8:39 am

i have a stupid but effective way of handling such anger. i just think "forget it, ed, you don't even know HOW to get angry!" :lol:

for some strange reason it always seems to work for me.