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Finchel_Gleek
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18 Nov 2013, 2:31 pm

MadeUnderground wrote:
Finchel_Gleek wrote:

I've already done that. I went back to college a few years ago to try to finish up my Psychology degree, but that's been put on hold indefinitely. I can't pass the Algebra class I need, as well as the Geometry, Trig, Pre Calc, and Calc classes I need but will never use. I have a learning disorder which makes math extremely difficult for me because I just don't understand it. I have taken the same Algebra class 3 times and failed it every time because I just don't understand it, and I even had all kinds of extra help outside of class with it. I got perfect grades in everything else. I took a vocational class to become a Nursing Assistant, and I've had a job doing that for over a year and I love it.



Wow, you're the first person I've met on here that has had the exact same issue as me. I had to take Algebra 3 times and the best grade I got the last time was a C- I think. I was diagnosed with a math disorder.

It just takes me a whoooooole lot longer to understand the concepts compared to everyone else. I did fine with all the basic math up until Algebra 1, then the remaining math after that has been nothing but a disaster and deep embarrassment for me.



Sorry that was a bit off topic with the thread but I got excited. :(

Anyway, OP, on topic, maybe you should just focus on getting out and socializing in different groups and clubs of your interest without specifically LOOKING for someone to date. Just get out there and have fun, and make friends, and the more you get out and live life, and smile, and be carefree, and let the wind blow through your hair as you laugh uncontrollably at the heavens - Someone will come along.

Finchel_Gleek, I have some off topic questions related to the math thing for you. Would you mind if I PM'd you (or you PM me?) whichever..


Sure. Go for it.



Kinme
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19 Nov 2013, 6:12 am

I know this sounds kind of disturbing (since I'm mentioning fetishes >.<), but there are lots of men who have fetishes for overweight women and think they're gorgeous. Places like DeviantArt.com show what I mean. And I'm not just talking about overweight; I'm talking about morbidly obese--any shape and size. From very skinny, muscular, to overweight. It doesn't seem to matter there. Don't beat yourself down. Lots of people find men and women with weight attractive. Sorry for the randomness. There are places where every type of woman is found beautiful, for one thing or another. There are also BBW (or Big But Beautiful) dating websites where lots of men are searching for those types of ladies. I hope this helps you a little. :(



The_Face_of_Boo
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19 Nov 2013, 6:47 am

Hi Finchel_Gleek, if you don't know me already, I can tell you in brief that I am the WP's bluntest jerk, ask smudge about me for example, she'll tell you.

Ok, my first question: What do your target guys look/sound like in general?

I remember you said in the other thread he's in his twenties and extremely cute. How handsome he is? what's his career? Is he popular among girls? Is he sociable?

You might think that the reasons behind the serial rejections you're getting are intangible things like social skills or AS or whatever, but believe me, most of the rejections' reasons are more superficial that you might think.



woodster
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19 Nov 2013, 2:06 pm

Finchel_Gleek wrote:
He said his schedule is way too busy and he would not be able to give me the time and attention that I need. I have heard that from every guy that I have dated or been interested in, and I'm honestly sick of it. Nobody is ever that busy.



count it as a lucky escape. You dont want to end up with someone that selfish anyway.



blueroses
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19 Nov 2013, 9:26 pm

smudge wrote:
I don't think you are in the right state of mind to be asking others to rate yourself. I think you need a hug.


Me, too.

For what it's worth, though, you have cute hair and I like your glasses. Also, just because MyFutureSelfnMe goes after twigs, it doesn't mean everyone does.

I think Face Of Boo might be on to something with asking about what type of guys you usually look for, though. I think that a lot of the time, it's all about context. I know from experience that it's easy to start feeling badly about yourself when you're trying to fit a mold for someone else that's an awkward size or shape. But, if you can find the right person, who cares about you as you are, it is a wonderful thing.

You mentioned you liked this guy because you thought you'd had shared experiences and you'd understand each other? Maybe you could look for someone else who'd also have those types of shared experiences? Surely they can't be anything unique unto this guy. I mean, I'm sure he's special and all, but he can't be that special. :)



Shebakoby
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19 Nov 2013, 10:43 pm

woodster wrote:
Finchel_Gleek wrote:
He said his schedule is way too busy and he would not be able to give me the time and attention that I need. I have heard that from every guy that I have dated or been interested in, and I'm honestly sick of it. Nobody is ever that busy.



count it as a lucky escape. You dont want to end up with someone that selfish anyway.


Yeah, "busy" tends to be the catch-all, passive-aggressive while trying to be nice about it reason for rejection.

Who knows, maybe someone *is* that busy, maybe they work 2 or 3 jobs and hardly have time to spit. But you'd only know they were lying about that if they have a significant other.



Finchel_Gleek
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20 Nov 2013, 9:55 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Hi Finchel_Gleek, if you don't know me already, I can tell you in brief that I am the WP's bluntest jerk, ask smudge about me for example, she'll tell you.

Ok, my first question: What do your target guys look/sound like in general?

I remember you said in the other thread he's in his twenties and extremely cute. How handsome he is? what's his career? Is he popular among girls? Is he sociable?

You might think that the reasons behind the serial rejections you're getting are intangible things like social skills or AS or whatever, but believe me, most of the rejections' reasons are more superficial that you might think.


Most of the guys I go for are just your average, guy next door types. They're usually kind of shy, as is the case with this one. As far as his profession goes, he is in college studying Art. He works in the kitchen at work as a server. As far as looks go, he is about 6'2", skinny, and has brown hair and brown eyes.



The_Face_of_Boo
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21 Nov 2013, 2:39 am

Finchel_Gleek wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Hi Finchel_Gleek, if you don't know me already, I can tell you in brief that I am the WP's bluntest jerk, ask smudge about me for example, she'll tell you.

Ok, my first question: What do your target guys look/sound like in general?

I remember you said in the other thread he's in his twenties and extremely cute. How handsome he is? what's his career? Is he popular among girls? Is he sociable?

You might think that the reasons behind the serial rejections you're getting are intangible things like social skills or AS or whatever, but believe me, most of the rejections' reasons are more superficial that you might think.


Most of the guys I go for are just your average, guy next door types. They're usually kind of shy, as is the case with this one.




"People next door types" can be hot looking, can be obese, can be fugly..... can you be more specific? are they tall, fit and such like? You probably just mean they're not models but that doesn't necessarily mean they're average looking.

The problem is not in their shyness, recall what type they are and you might find out a pattern.

Quote:
As far as his profession goes, he is in college studying Art. He works in the kitchen at work as a server. As far as looks go, he is about 6'2", skinny, and has brown hair and brown eyes.


Is that a next door type too?



Finchel_Gleek
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21 Nov 2013, 8:21 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Finchel_Gleek wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Hi Finchel_Gleek, if you don't know me already, I can tell you in brief that I am the WP's bluntest jerk, ask smudge about me for example, she'll tell you.

Ok, my first question: What do your target guys look/sound like in general?

I remember you said in the other thread he's in his twenties and extremely cute. How handsome he is? what's his career? Is he popular among girls? Is he sociable?

You might think that the reasons behind the serial rejections you're getting are intangible things like social skills or AS or whatever, but believe me, most of the rejections' reasons are more superficial that you might think.


Most of the guys I go for are just your average, guy next door types. They're usually kind of shy, as is the case with this one.




"People next door types" can be hot looking, can be obese, can be fugly..... can you be more specific? are they tall, fit and such like? You probably just mean they're not models but that doesn't necessarily mean they're average looking.

The problem is not in their shyness, recall what type they are and you might find out a pattern.

Quote:
As far as his profession goes, he is in college studying Art. He works in the kitchen at work as a server. As far as looks go, he is about 6'2", skinny, and has brown hair and brown eyes.


Is that a next door type too?


IDK, I guess he's just average, but he's hot to me. ;)



Jono
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22 Nov 2013, 6:35 am

Finchel_Gleek wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Finchel_Gleek wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Hi Finchel_Gleek, if you don't know me already, I can tell you in brief that I am the WP's bluntest jerk, ask smudge about me for example, she'll tell you.

Ok, my first question: What do your target guys look/sound like in general?

I remember you said in the other thread he's in his twenties and extremely cute. How handsome he is? what's his career? Is he popular among girls? Is he sociable?

You might think that the reasons behind the serial rejections you're getting are intangible things like social skills or AS or whatever, but believe me, most of the rejections' reasons are more superficial that you might think.


Most of the guys I go for are just your average, guy next door types. They're usually kind of shy, as is the case with this one.



"People next door types" can be hot looking, can be obese, can be fugly..... can you be more specific? are they tall, fit and such like? You probably just mean they're not models but that doesn't necessarily mean they're average looking.

The problem is not in their shyness, recall what type they are and you might find out a pattern.

Quote:
As far as his profession goes, he is in college studying Art. He works in the kitchen at work as a server. As far as looks go, he is about 6'2", skinny, and has brown hair and brown eyes.


Is that a next door type too?


IDK, I guess he's just average, but he's hot to me. ;)


Where do you live? Are there any other places where you can meet people?



Heidilea
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22 Nov 2013, 10:09 am

Speaking as a woman who is serially attracted to Aspie-types (romantic or otherwise) and who is over 30--it is not too late! A lot of my friends are single (I'm the only married one, surprisingly), and have some pretty fun dating lives.

Also--there's a lot to consider when entering a long term relationship with an Aspie. Unfortunately, mine came retroactively (been together 9 years, AS has only been a known since July). The empathy factor can be nil and you need to know what you want and be direct about it. Bonus if you like to do things without him; otherwise, there can be a lot of sitting around waiting for him to pay attention to you when he's busy with video games and/or a project. You will not get your typical needs met as a wife. Throw children into the mix, and it gets a helluva lot more complicated (no kids, and probably none for us).

As for being over 30--it really is just a number that society has imposed on us women. Though, I did change after 30--I realized I'd been floating by and hadn't taken my own life by the balls. I am a valuable, likeable, beautiful, strong woman, and I finally started to believe it. It wasn't easy, and it didn't happen overnight. I make mistakes all the time; I get angry at people when I should be more diplomatic and vice versa.

I know it's easier said than done. You have to find the vehicle and it's not easy. I had a couple of events trigger my desire for change. You have to ask yourself if you really want to live the rest of your life like this.

I can understand stress eating, too. I used to be a stress eater, technically still am, but I would focus on something completely different--go to the gym, go out with a friend, take a walk, online window shop. Etc. Etc.



Finchel_Gleek
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22 Nov 2013, 10:56 am

Jono wrote:
Finchel_Gleek wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Finchel_Gleek wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Hi Finchel_Gleek, if you don't know me already, I can tell you in brief that I am the WP's bluntest jerk, ask smudge about me for example, she'll tell you.

Ok, my first question: What do your target guys look/sound like in general?

I remember you said in the other thread he's in his twenties and extremely cute. How handsome he is? what's his career? Is he popular among girls? Is he sociable?

You might think that the reasons behind the serial rejections you're getting are intangible things like social skills or AS or whatever, but believe me, most of the rejections' reasons are more superficial that you might think.


Most of the guys I go for are just your average, guy next door types. They're usually kind of shy, as is the case with this one.



"People next door types" can be hot looking, can be obese, can be fugly..... can you be more specific? are they tall, fit and such like? You probably just mean they're not models but that doesn't necessarily mean they're average looking.

The problem is not in their shyness, recall what type they are and you might find out a pattern.

Quote:
As far as his profession goes, he is in college studying Art. He works in the kitchen at work as a server. As far as looks go, he is about 6'2", skinny, and has brown hair and brown eyes.


Is that a next door type too?


IDK, I guess he's just average, but he's hot to me. ;)


Where do you live? Are there any other places where you can meet people?


Not really. This is a small town. Everybody knows everybody here. About the only social places around here are bars, and I'm not much into the bar scene, mainly because I don't drink, and it just doesn't seem to me like a bar would be a good place somebody worthwhile, although I'm sure it's happened. That pretty much leaves me with work, the library, or church. Of course I have tried work. I have also hung out at the library, but have never really met anybody there. My church is big, and that's how I met my ex, but it's still hard to meet people there unless somebody you know wants to introduce you to somebody else. I've had coworkers, friends, and family say that they know guys who they want to introduce me to and I agree to it, but it never happens. Why ask me to meet somebody if you're not actually gonna introduce me to them? I just don't understand why it's so hard to meet people, much less get at least one date more than once every 5 years.



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22 Nov 2013, 11:21 am

I looked at your picture, and the thing that would make me hesitant to date you is the fact that you look so sad and slightly embarrassed. The fact that you are insecure about how desirable you are comes out in your body language. A change in your mental state (rather than physical state) would make you more attractive in my opinion. I am speaking from a place of empathy, not judgment. I am depressed, anxious, and insecure 90% of the time and I have been rejected every time I have approached a woman. I think it is my low self-esteem and desperation that drives them away; I know I am good looking.

Think of it from the other person's perspective (based on their assumptions that you have low self-esteem). If they were to get into a long-term relationship with you, it would take a lot of work. They would constantly have to reassure you of your value. They wouldn't get much out of the exchange. It wouldn't be very fun.

Are there some things that you can do to improve your self-esteem before trying to date again? (For me, I have finished my psych degree, I am taking more care of my hygiene, I am getting to move out on my own. I am in therapy to work on my mental health issues. I am doing things that I like to do. Basically, I am making a concrete effort to do things that make me feel good about myself and to treat myself with kindness and compassion. Another thing I am doing is accepting my imperfections more because a lot of them I can't do anything about.)



Heidilea
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22 Nov 2013, 12:05 pm

^This



The_Face_of_Boo
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22 Nov 2013, 2:06 pm

^ no it's not this, what he said is ridiculous; it's just a single webcam shot from an awkward angle.



Finchel_Gleek
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22 Nov 2013, 11:01 pm

I took that picture using the camera on my phone