Page 1 of 1 [ 16 posts ] 

tear
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 5 Dec 2004
Gender: Male
Posts: 88

08 Apr 2005, 8:56 pm

Does anyone else get a feeling about other people? Every person I come into into contact with I get a sort of feeling. Its really hard to explain its just like something I know. Like as soon as I meet them I know whether I lik them or not, whether they are good or bad (in relation to me). So far I have yet to be wrong.

Does anyone get this feeling? And if so maybe you could cold explain it better.



axelkat
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Feb 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: 760
Location: the desert

08 Apr 2005, 9:26 pm

interesting conception. i used to think that was the way with me until i started screwing up seriously in social situations. now i never make assumptions or jump to conclusions about anything.
A


_________________
Uncle Joe loves labor


ghotistix
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Feb 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,186
Location: Massachusetts

08 Apr 2005, 9:28 pm

I know exactly what you mean. I'd always taken it for granted and I only recently realized how hard it is for other people to really "know" someone else just by looking at them. I never thought it was a part of AS though, since it contradicts nearly everything else about AS. Maybe I was wrong.

Usually it's great and warns me when someone is a real, um, rancid person in advance (my old roommate comes to mind), but other times it's a burden. Sometimes I see straight into a person and can immediately tell that they have the kind of personality I can enjoy being around, but I usually can't get enough trust in myself to find out if I'm right.



Sarcastic_Name
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Mar 2005
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,593

08 Apr 2005, 9:37 pm

I know exactly what you mean. When I meet someone, I can almost instantly tell if I like them or not. It's something about their posture, the way they dress, and their voice that I can instantly tell what kind of personaliy they have. It's amost always right. You can tell that people can possibly be AS if they have a monotone voice and odd posture, for example.


_________________
Hello.


hale_bopp
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Nov 2004
Gender: Female
Posts: 17,054
Location: None

08 Apr 2005, 10:18 pm

Oh yeah.

Some people I can see through like glad-wrap.



CockneyRebel
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Age: 46
Gender: Male
Posts: 103,583
Location: Canada in person, Germany in spirit

08 Apr 2005, 10:28 pm

I get that feeling all the time. All I have to do is look at somebody to see whether they give off good vibes or not. If I didn't have that Intuition, I'd either get used a lot, or else I would be dead by now.



Ghosthunter
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 Mar 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,478
Location: Minneapolis, Minnesota

08 Apr 2005, 10:34 pm

[tear
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: Dec 06, 2004
Posts: 71
Posted: Sat Apr 09, 2005 11:56 am    
Post subject: Just a feeling
-------------------------------------------
Does anyone else get a feeling about
other people? Every person I come into
into contact with I get a sort of feeling.
Its really hard to explain its just like
something I know. Like as soon as I
meet them I know whether I lik them
or not, whether they are good or bad
(in relation to me). So far I have yet
to be wrong.

Does anyone get this feeling?
And if so maybe you could cold explain it better.

Sarcastic_Name
Raven
Joined: Mar 27, 2005
Posts: 111
Location: PVB, FL
Posted: Sat Apr 09, 2005 12:37 pm    
Post subject:
-----------------------------------------
I know exactly what you mean. When
I meet someone, I can almost instantly
tell if I like them or not. It's something
about their posture, the way they dress,
and their voice that I can instantly tell what
kind of personaliy they have. It's amost always
right. You can tell that people can possibly be
AS if they have a monotone voice and odd
posture, for example.]

I am glad you are aware of your intuition.
I use it on a regular basis, though I-Physically
it is about 90% accurate, but much more
95% accurate in dissecting things.



NotBlueAspie
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 7 Apr 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: 57

09 Apr 2005, 1:26 am

Such feelings are useful, since unconscious minds do useful processing about social situations. Caveat: such feelings cannot be checked for validity. They guide your behavior, which in turn guides the behavior of others, so the feelings tend to seem spot-on even if they aren't objectively accurate. They are self-fulfilling prophecies :) This is why "first impressions are so important".

Also, it sounds like you are saying that your brain picks up on small signals and uses them to determine whether you will like someone. For example, you see someone slouch and you get a feeling of dislike. You interpret this to mean that your brain has figured out that slouching is an indicator of a bad personality. But how do you know your brain just doesn't like people who slouch? Couldn't you just be disliking people because they slouch, not because slouching indicates something about their personality?

The reason that I am cautious about such feelings is that there are people who are famously adept at scamming even the most skeptical, streetwise of victims; there are also people who are known for leaving bad first impressions but actually being compatible once known in depth.



tear
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 5 Dec 2004
Gender: Male
Posts: 88

09 Apr 2005, 8:36 am

Usually everyone I meet I am forced into interacting with like a classmate. I am not the kind of person to just go around meeting people. Thinking about it, this applies to fictional characters like in a book or movie.



larsenjw92286
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Aug 2004
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,062
Location: Seattle, Washington

09 Apr 2005, 9:58 am

I feel that way about some people, but about other people, it takes me some time to form an opinion about them. I am aware that I must give them a chance. This is the definitive thing to do.


_________________
Jason Larsen
gameshowdude1986@yahoo.com


axelkat
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Feb 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: 760
Location: the desert

09 Apr 2005, 10:21 am

I just think that it is better to get to know a person before you make judgements. Its only fair and remember, people do change.
A


_________________
Uncle Joe loves labor


queerpuppy
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 12 Feb 2005
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 224
Location: S.E. London

09 Apr 2005, 10:40 am

I have had a bad feeling about people before, within 10 seconds of meeting them. It has only been four people, but it was a horrible something wierd happening in my chest feeling, and all four people I had it with turned out to be psycho. The first f****d with people's heads, the second person was a cocaine addict that also f****d with people's heads, the third turned out to be a girlfriend-beater and general misogynist, and the fourth was a general bully. These people all took quite a long time to show their true colours.

I wonder if maybe I respond to "falseness" - all these people had a "mask" on, hiding their true personalities, and maybe somehow I pick up on that mask.

I try not to judge people from this feeling, but its accuracy so far has been wierd. Fortunately I've not met anyone for a fair old while that's set that feeling off.



Last edited by queerpuppy on 09 Apr 2005, 11:38 am, edited 1 time in total.

RadioHead
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 4 Oct 2004
Gender: Male
Posts: 69

09 Apr 2005, 11:30 am

8O
Holy s**t...so this is a pretty common occurance after all. Its something I frequently get too, and I turn out to be right in detecting the people I should stay away from. Whenever I'm around certain people my chest sort of clenches(not too sure how to describe it) and I get a feeling of despair. For some reason this has only happened when I was around extroverted, popular and charismatic individuals.

Quote:
I wonder if maybe I respond to "falseness" - all these people had a "mask" on, hiding their true personalities, and maybe somehow I pick up on that mask.


Is this some kind of AS instinct? I mean look at this post by Drunkards Walk on Aspergian Island:

Quote:
remember when I went through my Christian phase, in my teens, my Church Youth Group booked an intinerant evangelist to give a talk. I found the experience deeply chilling. As the man told stories and guffawed at his own jokes I just sat there, deeply dismayed by a palpable sense of "hollowness" that seemed to be eminating from him. I could hardly believe that the rest of the group were laughing with him and
really getting caught up by the evangelical spirit, but they were. After he'd gone, they all declared what a wonderful guy he was (and they all looked sorta stoned) I went straight to the curate (an intelligent guy, whom I respected)and asked incredulously "What was wrong with that man? And why didn't anybody notice?" (He chuckled at the question and said "Oh, he's an evangelist. they're all like that" )

I never did find out exactly what was wrong with him, but I remain convinced there was something very wrong. And other times I've had similar experiences, and found things out later that confirmed my intuition. It looks to me as if we Aspies have an instinct for this kind of thing. I don't know if tjat would work so well on the internet , though. And I don't know if ALL Aspies have it.

That's strange isn't it? Considering we're inept at deciphering the usual social cues, and easily fooled in any number of contexts. Maybe that works to our advantage when faced with a total phony? Then we're not misled by the cynical abuse of those cues. We're forced to look a bit deeper.


Weird isn't it? However I would advise whoever gets such feelings not to follow it too closely. Admittedly this IS a form of prejudice. And it is generally a good philosophy to look deeper into things before making any harsh judgement.



hale_bopp
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Nov 2004
Gender: Female
Posts: 17,054
Location: None

09 Apr 2005, 6:39 pm

intuition.

sometimes it's wrong, but rarely. Mum said it's not very common. She and I have it, but it seems to me that half this forum have it, too.



Mar
Hummingbird
Hummingbird

User avatar

Joined: 29 Mar 2005
Gender: Female
Posts: 23
Location: Northern VA

09 Apr 2005, 9:40 pm

queerpuppy wrote:
I wonder if maybe I respond to "falseness" - all these people had a "mask" on, hiding their true personalities, and maybe somehow I pick up on that mask.


That I get. There have been a few times when I met someone and just knew that they were absolute fakes. One time in particular, my boyfriend introduced me to a friend of his who had just moved back into town. I immediately knew he was a horrible person, but couldn't explain to my boyfriend why. Everyone else loved the guy. Until a month later, when he stole a few of their wallets, stripped one friend's car and rapidly left town again.

I think it may have to do with the fact that I've grown up paying very close attention to people's behavior, trying to make my own behavior seem normal and natural. Lately I've been agonizing over whether this makes me a fake. Although, at least I know my intentions are much different. I do it to make people comfortable around me, so that I can interact with them on their level.



pyraxis
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Mar 2005
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,527

09 Apr 2005, 10:13 pm

I don't have that kind of intuition... or if I do, I don't recognize it, so it doesn't do any good. The only thing I can pick up on very quickly are "pieces of myself"... someone who's blocking their emotions for example, or someone who's afraid and trying to hide it.