How does everyone function in nightclubs

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qawer
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07 Jan 2014, 9:19 am

Superficiality is the most valued thing in night clubs.

Only went to night clubs to get drunk, have a little fun and some experience with the ladies. Nothing serious would ever come out of meeting people in those places, it is all superficial.



aspiemike
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07 Jan 2014, 9:30 am

I have to be drunk to enjoy it from what I have experienced. However, I also ended up learning to be fine just being with friends and having a good time. But I still much prefer to go to a pub over a nightclub and play some pool and chat with people over a nightclub.


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Trontine
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07 Jan 2014, 9:35 am

I went to a nightclub (funny note: I started writing nightmare, which is fun, because that's exactly what a nightclub feels like) once, and it was horrible. Sensory overload. Outside the nightclub I found a kitten. Poor little kitty. I gave it my attention, trying to get it to trust me and come out from the bush. Eventually it did, and I comforted her/him. You could say we comforted each other, because focusing on the kitten made me calmer.

Fortunately for me, though, the people I'm with usually prefers pubs. I'm not that fond of pubs either, but at least it's a lot better than nightclubs. There is one place, though, I'm not sure what it is, it would seem more like a pub, look wise, but in the day it's like a diner, and in the night it feels like a nightclub, 'cause it's so loud and filled up with people just standing around. Either way, it's a terrible place to be at night.



Last edited by Trontine on 07 Jan 2014, 10:30 am, edited 1 time in total.

The_Walrus
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07 Jan 2014, 9:42 am

Ear plugs, dancing, and tap water.

Ear plugs stop you getting overwhelmed by the sound, or worse, tinnitus.

Dancing helps you feel good, because it is exercise.

Tap water stops you from becoming dehydrated, because dancing makes you sweat.

I also think it is most enjoyable if enough of your friends go that they naturally break off into two or more groups. This means you don't have to be attached to people who don't want to dance, or want to dance too much.



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07 Jan 2014, 9:46 am

Many really don't function at nightclubs. I think NTs find it easier to get lost in the music, but don't expect many of them to do any high level thinking in them.



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07 Jan 2014, 9:57 am

I used to have to be drunk to go to them. When I did go, I usually ended up sitting at the table watching the purses while everybody else got up and danced. I found them extremely frustrating. I would watch my friends hook up, get a phone number, or sometimes go home with a lady on their arm, while I went home alone.

I say "used to" because I quit drinking. It was only when I sobered up that I learned that the reason I was going home alone was because of poor social skills. Being drunk didn't give me social skills, just made me able to tolerate all the sensory information without overload.



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07 Jan 2014, 11:10 am

I've never been to a nightclub before, and it doesn't really sound like my idea of a good time, what with the prolonged, repetitive noise, the crowds, being offered drugs and alcohol, etc.


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jcq126
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07 Jan 2014, 12:27 pm

I function by not going.

The few times I've been in the past, I got so drunk that I would end up pissing myself just so I could get by while being there with all the noise and people. Usually would consist of me drinking about 10 rum and cokes within 5 minutes then sitting in a corner in a little sitting area half conscious from being completely and utterly hammered.

Now that i'm an adult I just don't go all together, won't even go to a bar.



Joe90
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07 Jan 2014, 12:42 pm

qawer wrote:
Superficiality is the most valued thing in night clubs.

Only went to night clubs to get drunk, have a little fun and some experience with the ladies. Nothing serious would ever come out of meeting people in those places, it is all superficial.


I agree. It is very rare that someone will meet their future partner in a nightclub (can sometimes happen, but not often). That is why I get so annoyed when people tell me to go out if I want to meet a boyfriend, and nine time out of ten they're thinking of going out as in going to a nightclub. How can you actually get chatting to someone seriously if there's rowdy noise and people in the background? I've been asked out on a date just sitting on the bus.


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aspiemike
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07 Jan 2014, 12:53 pm

FallingDownMan wrote:

I say "used to" because I quit drinking. It was only when I sobered up that I learned that the reason I was going home alone was because of poor social skills. Being drunk didn't give me social skills, just made me able to tolerate all the sensory information without overload.


I believe you do have good social skills and I wouldn't be surprised in the least bit. You just probably don't have the social skills that are attractive in that environment.


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aspiemike
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07 Jan 2014, 12:56 pm

Joe90 wrote:

I agree. It is very rare that someone will meet their future partner in a nightclub (can sometimes happen, but not often). That is why I get so annoyed when people tell me to go out if I want to meet a boyfriend, and nine time out of ten they're thinking of going out as in going to a nightclub. How can you actually get chatting to someone seriously if there's rowdy noise and people in the background? I've been asked out on a date just sitting on the bus.


You sound very sincere and nice. What would be the ideal place for you to meet friends and potential suitors?


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AlanMooresBeard
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07 Jan 2014, 1:58 pm

Never been a fan of nightclubs. Even if they're playing decent music, I find it hard to talk to people and hear what they're saying to me. Plus the whole idea of having a dress code and bouncers on the door is pretty lame too. The only time I ever go to clubs is to see bands which is almost always a much better experience than a typical nightclub event.



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07 Jan 2014, 2:00 pm

i have the most effective way to cope in a nightclub

Step one: dont go to the night club

Step 2: stay home

Step 3: eat cheesies


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binaryodes
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07 Jan 2014, 2:07 pm

AlanMooresBeard wrote:
Never been a fan of nightclubs. Even if they're playing decent music, I find it hard to talk to people and hear what they're saying to me. Plus the whole idea of having a dress code and bouncers on the door is pretty lame too. The only time I ever go to clubs is to see bands which is almost always a much better experience than a typical nightclub event.


This is what im wondering. When I was into MDMA (very very brief period) everyone urged me to go to a club to do the drug. I scoffed at this as I preferred the idea of being surrounded by the familiar. The idea of being in a club environment wasnt especially appealing. The same goes for listening to bands DJ's etc if I could go to see Amon Tobin ISAM or Flying Lotus Layer 3 im certain i'd want to go to experience the phenomenon but I know that unless I could find a quiet corner from wehich to observe the action in a hypnotic trance I wouldnt relish the experience all that much


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07 Jan 2014, 2:38 pm

I don't really go to clubs anymore as I'm a bit old for it now - but I used to enjoy them from my late teens up till my early 30s. I dealt with it by having a few drinks, maybe smoking a little weed or occasionally popping something stronger, getting lost in the music and dancing. I always found dancing quite liberating; when doing it I no longer felt self-conscious and didn't care what anybody thought of me anymore.

It's easy for an aspie to feel inhibited about that sort of thing, but really, if I looked around me, I always saw plenty of NTs in nightclubs who looked as clumsy and awkward as I felt - except that they didn't care about it.



binaryodes
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07 Jan 2014, 2:53 pm

Bustduster wrote:
I don't really go to clubs anymore as I'm a bit old for it now - but I used to enjoy them from my late teens up till my early 30s. I dealt with it by having a few drinks, maybe smoking a little weed or occasionally popping something stronger, getting lost in the music and dancing. I always found dancing quite liberating; when doing it I no longer felt self-conscious and didn't care what anybody thought of me anymore.

It's easy for an aspie to feel inhibited about that sort of thing, but really, if I looked around me, I always saw plenty of NTs in nightclubs who looked as clumsy and awkward as I felt - except that they didn't care about it.


Ahhh wonderfully put. The only times ive enjoyed clubbing were when I could loe myself in the music. The experience wasnt about people it was about something primordial something savage and basic. When I was dancing I felt more liberated than I had in a long time. The few times I went in Liverpool I didnt overload sensorily - I cant remember how drunk I was if at all. I can relate to some* of the testimonials about overload but back then what bothered me more than anything was the social* environment. I had mixed experiences. Then again the first time I went I had a breakdown on the way home - I think that was socially mediated however.

Now* however... for some reason my sensory issues have ramped up to the point where everything bothers me. Clothes tags never really got me too much (except when I was a kid when I was texture sensitive to an extreme) there's no way I could deal with a club. A rave.... perhaps as everyone is in the same tribalistic mindset. Its about "becoming one with the music".

Being a musician probably has something to do with the fact that I can fall into that trance like state. I have a very physical relationship wqith music

Drugs are not a good idea however because they can produce the opposite effect. Pot specifically can make my "club daze" far worse.


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