When Do You Find It The Most Difficult To Be Around NT's?

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Yoshie777
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03 Jun 2007, 3:15 pm

gwenevyn wrote:
Yoshie777 wrote:
I'd say either when I'm on the phone with my family, when I'm at a party, or when NTs are talking in groups.


Yes to all of the above. Except I'm ok on the phone with family. It's just NT friends and others who are difficult to talk to on the phone.


Well, when I'm on the phone with my family here at the university, the discussions that I have are nobody else's business. The information that I discuss with my family is too personal. But yeah, talking with NT friends on the phone can feel awkward.



pbcoll
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03 Jun 2007, 4:03 pm

When it is completely unstructured in a group, chit chat at the pub and that sort of thing. Especially when I'm the only one not interested in the topic (sports, celebrities), or the only one who has nothing to say (dating). Also, when meeting someone for the first time - I couldn't do small talk with a stranger even if my life depended on it.
Easiest: 1-to-1 with someone I know reasonably well.


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03 Jun 2007, 4:10 pm

Any social occasion, and any other time when I need to be alone :?


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sweetpraline
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03 Jun 2007, 4:10 pm

I know what you mean. It can be uncomfortable going to parties and family get togethers. It is true about everyone laughing at things that you don't find funny. Because usually what NT's find funny is putting other people down. And a lot of times I am the butt of a lot of these jokes. Then they tell me I'm too sensitive and I can't take a joke. Well I don't care. I don't like to be made fun of.



rincemeister
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03 Jun 2007, 4:22 pm

Anytime outside of work. Work is nice and controlled, people mostly say and do things with some degree of predictability.

I went though a phase at high school when I was about 12years old and made some friends. The ones who haven't moved away - I am still in contact with (read that as 2 people). They are the only people outside of work and family that I talk to and go out with. This'll make a few people laugh, I'm 24 now. But I don't really mind, I have my interests and hobbies.



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03 Jun 2007, 4:24 pm

I find it difficult to be around NTs when they act like total twits or are in a bad mood with me for reasons unknown


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kiki3
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03 Jun 2007, 4:50 pm

rincemeister wrote:
Anytime outside of work. Work is nice and controlled, people mostly say and do things with some degree of predictability.


I like controlled atmospheres too. Even a party can be controlled if there are activities like games to play.

Quote:
I know what you mean. It can be uncomfortable going to parties and family get togethers. It is true about everyone laughing at things that you don't find funny. Because usually what NT's find funny is putting other people down.


When I was newly married, I got a sick feeling when I knew I would have to go to my husband's parent's house, where all his family (not my husband, really) would sit around laughing at people, behind their backs. I could never understand how they had so many friends, when they really weren't nice people. They even laughed at people who were supposed to be friends. They soon learned that I wasn't like them, so most of the time I was there I had to deal with whispering/giggling at my expense. I thought playing a game would make things better, but they never wanted to do anything like that. They did start playing a card game I hadn't been familiar with. None of them bothered taking the time to teach me, only to laugh at me when I couldn't easily pick it up. When my NT Aunt visited there with me once, she picked it right up and taught me back at my apartment. I practiced and practiced and finally felt ready to prove to them that I was good enough to play. As soon as I started winning, they soured on the game and never wanted to play when I was there again.

I'm SO GLAD I don't have to deal with them much anymore, now that we live hours away. Now, though, my husband doesn't like being around my family, because we love to play board games. He says it's stupid. :roll:



Esperanza
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03 Jun 2007, 4:59 pm

Same as you. They're hardest to handle when they're being social and getting to know each other. They ask all these annoying probing questions about things I don't want to share with them because they just use them to make judgements about me (and each other). They laugh at things that aren't funny, and they don't laugh at things that are funny, and I can't tell a joke worth a damn- every time I try I stutter and look like a fool and everyone looks at me and blinks. Then they split off into little groups and I'm not included in any of their little groups unless someone takes pity on me and I don't want their damn pity! I just want to be left alone by the punch bowl until I've been there long enough for it to be socially acceptable for me to go home.



TruenoBlues
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03 Jun 2007, 5:01 pm

When I've only had 2 hours of sleep. But than again, I can't stand anyone then.


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rincemeister
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03 Jun 2007, 5:03 pm

Quote:
we love to play board games

:-) yup board games can be pretty nice. I always have problems reading rules, so I get someone else to read them and then teach me. Sneaky me :-P



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03 Jun 2007, 5:11 pm

When i didn't laugh at NT's jokes that they would ask "why aren't you laughing?" And i would tell them "because it's not funny." This didn't not go over too well. So now i just laugh along with them. I figure it's a social skill to learn to laugh at ppls jokes even if they are not funny.


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kiki3
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03 Jun 2007, 5:19 pm

Esperanza wrote:
Same as you. They're hardest to handle when they're being social and getting to know each other. They ask all these annoying probing questions about things I don't want to share with them because they just use them to make judgements about me (and each other). They laugh at things that aren't funny, and they don't laugh at things that are funny, and I can't tell a joke worth a damn- every time I try I stutter and look like a fool and everyone looks at me and blinks. Then they split off into little groups and I'm not included in any of their little groups unless someone takes pity on me and I don't want their damn pity! I just want to be left alone by the punch bowl until I've been there long enough for it to be socially acceptable for me to go home.


Wow! You live my life -- every single thing you said!! ! 8O



kiki3
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03 Jun 2007, 5:43 pm

bizarre wrote:
When i didn't laugh at NT's jokes that they would ask "why aren't you laughing?" And i would tell them "because it's not funny." This didn't not go over too well. So now i just laugh along with them. I figure it's a social skill to learn to laugh at ppls jokes even if they are not funny.


Yes, I think you're right about it being a social skill to laugh at non-funny NT jokes. I just wish I knew how the heck to do it. I try; don't get me wrong. It's just that I can't get my fake laughs to sound natural. I end up getting stranger looks than when I don't laugh at all. I know if I could successfully develop a bubbly laugh, I would have a far more successful time socializing. I think it's the single biggest social problem I have.



CockneyRebel
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03 Jun 2007, 5:51 pm

I have the most problems with NTs when I'm shopping at the mall. Everything that they say sounds like a question, and I hate that.



Last edited by CockneyRebel on 03 Jun 2007, 5:55 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Graelwyn
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03 Jun 2007, 5:53 pm

jijin wrote:
when I have been doing something for a half hour I just got into high gear and I'm off in my interest and my g/f comes over and hugs me or something...

It takes me another half hour to get back into it...


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03 Jun 2007, 5:54 pm

They make fun of me, but I bet autistic people would as well.