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Greatshield17
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11 Jun 2020, 11:15 pm

I tend be very descriptive in what I say, there are a lot of reasons for this, the fact that as an aspie, I tend to be misunderstood; the fact that I have a fear and great irritation of being misunderstood; the fact that my Faith tends to be misunderstood; the fact that my Faith entails a belief in absolute truth and thus, I have an urge to be very truthful and accurate in what I say; and probably a few other things as well.

How do be more brief with what I say, both especially online but perhaps in real life as well?


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blech
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12 Jun 2020, 6:51 pm

Maybe lose the need to be understood completely. People will make assumptions. That's on them, not on you.

As long as each sentence has a subject and a predicate, I say you're good.



greenmm37
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12 Jun 2020, 8:09 pm

Greatshield17 wrote:
I tend be very descriptive in what I say, there are a lot of reasons for this, the fact that as an aspie, I tend to be misunderstood; the fact that I have a fear and great irritation of being misunderstood; the fact that my Faith tends to be misunderstood; the fact that my Faith entails a belief in absolute truth and thus, I have an urge to be very truthful and accurate in what I say; and probably a few other things as well.

How do be more brief with what I say, both especially online but perhaps in real life as well?

I think blech's advice (above mine) is very good and helpful (thank you for it!) but I will just share input as someone who has a similar issue that you do: I always feel the need to overexplain as well, and it stems from similar fears to your own.

First, I have recently tried working on it this way: Particularly if I know in advance I'm going to talk to someone, I try giving forethought to what it is that I truly want them to take away. I may have a message that I want to communicate, and am afraid that if I don't supplement it with anecdotal evidence/explanations, it won't get across. However, because I have a problem with brevity, I should at least try to identify my core message and stick to that.

Second, this is just spit-balling: After you've explained something to someone, either wait for their reply, or ask for a reply to clarify what they took away from what you said. That way you can identify if you are truly being misunderstood.

A third brief suggestion: Particularly on the internet, after you've typed a message out, proofread before posting. This way you can initially say/type out everything you need, but have the opportunity to 'trim the fat' and whittle down your message to its core elements.

Anyways! I haven't been brief at all, have I? :lol: But I agree that this is common among those of us with AS and you shouldn't feel too down on yourself for something that ultimately comes from a purely intended place. I don't think we are long-winded because we like burdening people with over-explanation. I hope some of that helps, in any way.



Redd_Kross
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12 Jun 2020, 8:45 pm

Imagine you're advertising your thoughts in a small advert in a local paper.

Word limit is 25, but you may include a small picture.

GO!



jimmy m
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12 Jun 2020, 10:41 pm

One of the attributes of an Aspie is that They are often direct, speak their mind and are honest.

So speaking the truth may be an inherent part of being an Aspie.

People (NTs) have a short attention span. So if you go into too much detail, their minds drift off without hearing what you are trying to say. So before you begin to talk, identify an anchor. This is a word or phase that is the main point of what you wish to convey. Make sure the anchor is in the first sentence in your discourse.


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HeroOfHyrule
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13 Jun 2020, 11:43 pm

I have a massive issue with this, and it's actually one of the reasons I made an account on here so I could practice discussing things with people. I personally have started rereading things I post and trying to see if there's any details I can leave out and still get my main point across. Sometimes I'll even end up deleting entire paragraphs.

I also try to remind myself that if there's any misunderstandings I can easily take the time to explain myself later on, and that even if I did over explain in my original response there's always going to be people who will ask questions and need more clarification. So thus there is no reason for me to waste my time before anyone actually needs that clarification.