Are you resistant to peer pressure/groupthink?

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HacKING
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27 Jun 2020, 1:29 pm

I find that due to my autism making me largely disinterested in socializing much of the time made me not talk to peers as much, along with the social difficulties making it hard anyway that I never really joined any particular clique. As a result of this not only did I avoid peer pressure from these cliques, I was also able to step back and watch these cliques from an outside perspective and see all the problems being so wrapped up in a clique can cause. People do some crazy things to fit in that they shouldn't do, and compromise not only their actions but their entire personality in some cases. Now as an adult despite greatly improved social skills, I'm still very wary of groupthink and tend to have a resistance to it even within the groups I did join. Has anybody else had a similar experience?



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27 Jun 2020, 2:13 pm

I'm not sure really. Sometimes I do think along with the group, and other times I think outside the box.

An example of me thinking along with the group: One time I joined a queue to use an ATM machine. There were 3 in a row, but everyone only seemed to be using the first two ones and not the third one. Like everyone else probably did, I assumed that this particular machine wasn't working, even though there was no notice on it and the screen seemed to be normal (it wasn't blank or glitchy or anything). Then a man came along and asked if the third machine was working and everyone (including me) in the queue said "I don't know". Then we kind of all looked at each other wondering why none of us wanted to use it, and then people started to use it.

An example of me thinking outside the box: One Christmas Eve I went to the supermarket and it was SO busy that nobody could move and each check-out had about 50 people queuing all down each aisle. So the next Christmas Eve I thought everyone will remember how bad the last Christmas Eve was and choose a different day to go, and I was right. There was hardly anyone in the supermarket, and then someone told me that the supermarket was full the day before. And then the next Christmas Eve I saw on Facebook that the supermarket was full at 2am, because everyone was thinking that by going at that time nobody else will be there. Sheep.


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dragonsanddemons
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27 Jun 2020, 2:57 pm

Mostly, yes. If it’s about something simple like where to go for lunch, it could be said that I would succumb to peer pressure if everyone else wants to go somewhere other than where I want to go and I just go along with what they want, but really, I don’t feel pressured into it, I just figure that the place I don’t want to go will make everyone else happy, I’ll probably be able to find something to eat, and something like just choosing a restaurant to eat at isn’t worth making a fuss over. Would I smoke a cigarette because “everyone” else smokes? No, I wouldn’t have the slightest inclination to no matter what “everyone” was doing. So really, I guess it depends on how important the issue is to me, as to whether I can be “pressured” into something or not. Mostly, I just try to be agreeable, because I loathe any type of argument or disagreement, no matter how small, but it’s not enough to make me ever go against my morals or anything. But for the things I could be “pressured” into, I usually don’t feel that I’m being pressured because the reason I can be is that it’s something that really isn’t a big deal to me. If I actually feel strongly about something, nothing and no one can make me budge on the issue, except perhaps unbiased facts that prove me wrong (like if I was debating the correct pronunciation of a word with someone and they went and got a dictionary and pointed out that my pronunciation wasn’t in there, even if I’d been saying it the wrong way my whole life and had been certain that was the right way to say it, I would admit that yes, according to an official source, I was wrong, instead of continuing to argue about how it should be pronounced my way). I never feel like I actually am a part of any group large enough for “groupthink” to really happen with, so with that, I stay my own person.


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LisaM1031
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27 Jun 2020, 5:30 pm

Quote:
I find that due to my autism making me largely disinterested in socializing much of the time made me not talk to peers as much, along with the social difficulties making it hard anyway that I never really joined any particular clique. As a result of this not only did I avoid peer pressure from these cliques, I was also able to step back and watch these cliques from an outside perspective and see all the problems being so wrapped up in a clique can cause. People do some crazy things to fit in that they shouldn't do, and compromise not only their actions but their entire personality in some cases. Now as an adult despite greatly improved social skills, I'm still very wary of groupthink and tend to have a resistance to it even within the groups I did join. Has anybody else had a similar experience?


You just described my life. As have many other comments on this site. It’s tough having trouble fitting in but I have found that over time it’s caused me to develop a type of logical detachment that helps me get through a lot of situations. Maybe that same detachment/objective reasoning was there all along and that’s part of the reason I never fit in in the first place. Who knows.



dman96x
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27 Jun 2020, 6:00 pm

So, I consider myself to be very resistant to groupthink.

For example, I have noticed maaaannnnyyy times that a like minded group will accept a logical fallacy about a common enemy, yet they have the logical skills to point out logical fallacy the common enemy uses against them.

When I was younger I was very receptive to peer pressure though. I used to take "factual" information too literal and would trust that other people were smart/knowledgeable. Luckily latter on I learned that I needed to fact check information, because there are a lot of people who just pass on myths as knowledge.



jimmy m
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27 Jun 2020, 6:57 pm

If an Aspie develops properly, it is my opinion that they can evolve into becoming a Non-Conformist. These are some quotes about being a Non-Conformist.

Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They're not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can't do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do. – Rob Siltanen: Apple, "Think Different" campaign

It gives me great pleasure indeed to see the stubbornness of an incorrigible nonconformist warmly acclaimed. - Albert Einstein

Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect. - Mark Twain

Our wretched species is so made that those who walk on the well-trodden path always throw stones at those who are showing a new road. - Voltaire

Not all those who wander are lost. - J.R.R. Tolkien

You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life. - Winston Churchill

Do not follow where the path may lead. Go, instead, where there is no path and leave a trail. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

A "normal" person is the sort of person that might be designed by a committee. You know, "Each person puts in a pretty color and it comes out gray." - Alan Sherman

The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself. - Friedrich Nietzsche

The average man is a conformist, accepting miseries and disasters with the stoicism of a cow standing in the rain. - Colin Wilson

Freedom began on the day the first sheep wandered away from the herd. ― Marty Rubin


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HeroOfHyrule
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27 Jun 2020, 7:51 pm

Regarding peer pressure I don't think I've ever massively been affected by it. If I don't want to do something and don't think it's a good thing to do, I usually just straight up wont. No matter what anyone says or does. That doesn't mean getting ridiculed for not doing things doesn't bum me out though and make me consider it sometimes, but even if it upsets me I still can't justify doing certain things, and logically it's better to be ridiculed than do something that has no actual purpose or is actually damaging to yourself.

As an example, a few years ago I had friends I used to smoke pot with and one day they wanted to do some other drug that I can't remember, but I immediately noped out as I thought it was a stupid idea, even though I wanted to not be a buzzkill and they had emphasized how they wanted to hang out with me that day. When I later heard about how unpleasant it was and how they felt sick all I could think about was the fact I was glad I'm not easily pressured into things like that. Same with when they wanted to drink, I wasn't comfortable doing that there so I told them I didn't want to, despite the fact they seemed irritated.



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27 Jun 2020, 9:30 pm

My driving tendency from childhood onward has been to be very suspicious of the actions, beliefs, ideologies, agendas, etc. of groups of people. As such, I've been a non-conformist all of my life.


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purplecloud
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28 Jun 2020, 7:06 am

I'd say both yes and no. I definitely tend to see things from an outside perspective and be like "that's dumb", but at the same time when I was younger (like 12-16) I felt the need to fit in even though I knew that I wasn't like the other young teens, so I would do things that they did because I realized I didn't have much of a choice if I wanted to still be friends with these people. Like I remember one time where my two friends wanted to smoke cigarettes and they wanted me to try and I said no multiple times until I was just tired of arguing and my thoughts went something like "oh well, these stupid teens will never give up so I might as well kind of pretend to smoke a little so they stop nagging me to try" and I remember seeing all of these typical teen moments through a different lens. Like, I remember feeling like a grandma trying to act like a teen and almost be sort of pitying them like "oh they don't know any better, poor kids". I assume now that it was one example of my masking.



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28 Jun 2020, 7:45 am

HacKING wrote:
I find that due to my autism making me largely disinterested in socializing much of the time made me not talk to peers as much, along with the social difficulties making it hard anyway that I never really joined any particular clique. As a result of this not only did I avoid peer pressure from these cliques, I was also able to step back and watch these cliques from an outside perspective and see all the problems being so wrapped up in a clique can cause. People do some crazy things to fit in that they shouldn't do, and compromise not only their actions but their entire personality in some cases. Now as an adult despite greatly improved social skills, I'm still very wary of groupthink and tend to have a resistance to it even within the groups I did join. Has anybody else had a similar experience?


Yup,
Bigtime.

But I'm surprised at how many on the autistic spectrum are happy to lose their individuality and join the collective of groupthinkers.
I attribute this to toxic NT social brainwashing before the ability of logical/critical thinking has been achieved.


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Pepe
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28 Jun 2020, 7:52 am

jimmy m wrote:
If an Aspie develops properly, it is my opinion that they can evolve into becoming a Non-Conformist. These are some quotes about being a Non-Conformist.

Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They're not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can't do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do. – Rob Siltanen: Apple, "Think Different" campaign

It gives me great pleasure indeed to see the stubbornness of an incorrigible nonconformist warmly acclaimed. - Albert Einstein

Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect. - Mark Twain

Our wretched species is so made that those who walk on the well-trodden path always throw stones at those who are showing a new road. - Voltaire

Not all those who wander are lost. - J.R.R. Tolkien

You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life. - Winston Churchill

Do not follow where the path may lead. Go, instead, where there is no path and leave a trail. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

A "normal" person is the sort of person that might be designed by a committee. You know, "Each person puts in a pretty color and it comes out gray." - Alan Sherman

The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself. - Friedrich Nietzsche

The average man is a conformist, accepting miseries and disasters with the stoicism of a cow standing in the rain. - Colin Wilson

Freedom began on the day the first sheep wandered away from the herd. ― Marty Rubin


Well,
No one can accuse me of being a rebel. :ninja: :mrgreen:

Yup,
To the highlighted type. 8)


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LunaticCentruroides
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29 Jun 2020, 7:09 pm

Seems like you’re on a good way :?:
That’s why it’s smart to only join groups, that have a similar opinion on certain values you have or that are important to you.

But if we talk about any possible social group I was accidently threw in, I personally tend to take a step back and analyze the scenario that’s going on, while they’re having their chitchat-NT-discussions. And if I feel like to and have the guts, I’ll throw in a “bomb”, to see what happens.

But yeah, I feel like the older I get, the less I’m being influenced by group thinking.



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29 Jun 2020, 7:33 pm

What is this "peer pressure" of which you speak?

I have no peers.  No peers means no pressure.


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29 Jun 2020, 7:58 pm

I have always been wary of the classics, because they led to modern warfare. Similarly, I am sceptical about advertising and propaganda, always looking for the motivations behind the messages. I have extended a lot of "benefit of the doubt" to friends, but always kept an eye on the evidence. Only recently have I realized that social smarts don't imply logical abilities. Physics has really been my friend, saving me from a lot of common errors. Once, I told an author that he had been promoting a stock fraud, based on the numbers in a brochure that didn't add up. He countered that so many other people couldn't be wrong, but later learned of the exposure. I'm still regularly trying to get engineers to do their sums and stop wasting material, but fashion is strong, even with them.



lostproperty
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30 Jun 2020, 7:29 am

At an age when peer pressure/groupthink mattered, I always refused to go along with fashions, refused to support the same football team and refused to like the same music, but all that did was make life that much harder for myself. I regret it now and I do wonder if I had been diagnosed back then, would I have felt more inclined to try to fit in more, rather than draw attention to the fact I was different because I didn't understand why.



Pepe
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30 Jun 2020, 7:42 am

Fnord wrote:
What is this "peer pressure" of which you speak?

I have no peers.  No peers means no pressure.


I feel the same about not having any peers.
I haven't found anyone like me to date,
And I am serious about that.

Autistics are, after all, a group of ultimate individuals.


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