I don't own a business, a house or a fancy car

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Jakki
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01 Jul 2020, 4:27 pm

Things could always get worse am sure , if your limbs respond to What you want them to do , if you are managing to be getTing yourself fed, And your eyes are still working , you are somewhat ahead of the game than many other People
Being able to take your bodily functions for granted is still even a little farther ahead. Having a roof over your head , is a plus . So perhaps a reassessment of circumstances might help to serve you well . Hope you get a good direction going for yourself . sometimes some things takealittle longer than others . Good health and good luck to you .


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01 Jul 2020, 9:16 pm

Oh my goodness, this is so me! :) Even right down to the Ford Fiesta :lol: . Well, I don't own the Fiesta anymore. I don't even have a car at all! I am blessed enough to be able to use my partner's car. But come on, Fiestas are downright awesome! They are small, easy to maneuver, inexpensive to maintain, and very fuel-efficient. What more could you ask for in a car? If I ever do get another car again, I would love for it to be another Fiesta. :mrgreen:

But seriously, I am 35 and do not own a house. I doubt I ever will because of my embarrassingly high student loan debt. I have never owned a fancy car a day in my life. And while I am self-employed, I would hardly call it owning a business. And by the way, I have a friend who is 41 and living with his parents.

Trust me, those things are not all they're cracked up to be. Homeowners have a lot of stuff to deal with that non-homeowners don't, business owners have a lot of liability risk, and most of those folks who have fancy cars probably also have sky high payments on them rather than owning them outright.

But anyway, I deal with a lot of the same stuff you do. I also have issues with planning/starting one thing and then going on to something else. And also, there are so many different things I want to do with my life. Novelist, screenwriter, actor, director (theater or film, I'm not picky :lol: ), social worker, teacher, entrepreneur... so many! I have no idea how I'll ever get even one of them done. And I definitely feel like I am a huge underachiever compared to most folks my age.

I think there are some people who aren't meant to just follow one path in life. Some of us have a lot of diverse interests, and we shouldn't be forced to choose between them. Sure, most of us do need a way to pay the bills, and that may necessitate choosing one job. But not for sure since in today's world, there are so many people who make their income from multiple sources.

And not all of us will follow the world's idea of success. Success can come a lot of different flavors. It doesn't necessarily involve being materialistic. I mean, look at some of the things that people are doing. You have people traveling full time living in RVs, living off the land in some secluded place, walking across their countries, and all kinds of uncommon stuff that makes them happy. Don't limit your ideas of success and happiness based on what other people think. Life has a lot to offer, and missing out on what you really want to do in order to go along with what the world thinks you should be doing might leave you with a lot of regrets.



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01 Jul 2020, 10:49 pm

Fnord wrote:
Call it what it is --


What, undiagnosed ADHD?



naturalplastic
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Dear_one
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01 Jul 2020, 11:49 pm

One definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over, but expecting different results. That goes for posting like a pest, too, Chris.



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02 Jul 2020, 3:13 am

chris1989 wrote:
I don't have instagram and I don't feel interested in taking any photos because I seem to think its just like facebook, I did it once, to make myself look interesting to other people and I felt it wasn't working at times and was getting very few likes and stuff so in the end I gave up posting photos.


yeah...same here

instagram is cancer, IF i were YOU i would feel good that i don't use it anymore. i felt better after i stopped.

also unless you've got a bunch if kids you don't really need anything more than a ford fiesta :wink:

i still miss my 1990 camry i used to have until i gave it to my sister...that thing just kept going and going.
not gonna echo sentiments already said but it's true, you could fall a lot farther.


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02 Jul 2020, 3:42 am

There are many different ways to be good in life.

Perhaps you don't have fancy things, but you are more genuine, kind and empathetic than people who do. What you are matters more than what you have.

It's actually been proven that richer people are less empathetic, as they don't have to rely on others and tend to interact more with richer people as opposed to people who don't have it as good as them.



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02 Jul 2020, 4:09 am

chris1989 wrote:
I do feel that at 30 I should really by now be running my own business, have a nice house and a nice car. I don't, I still live with parents, only work as a sales assistant, have a not-so-fancy ford fiesta and I don't feel the age I am and I feel I haven't achieved anything even I have spent a number of years planning and trying to write my own book but its been frustrating because I keep switching ideas and going back to the drawing board again. It feels at times like all I have done is just waste my time and failed it. It envies me when I hear and see people younger than me own their own businesses and it gives me this perception that is what you have to be doing by the age of 25 or 30.
I don't have instagram and I don't feel interested in taking any photos because I seem to think its just like facebook, I did it once, to make myself look interesting to other people and I felt it wasn't working at times and was getting very few likes and stuff so in the end I gave up posting photos.


I have a 2001 toyota Corola and a job, that may not last me a life time, but took a decade to get. I got a mortgage on a house that needs a renovation. I have several thousand forum posts from ten years ago, but no book. I have failed at stuff like not exercising or eating healthy, hoarding things, throwing money away, being alone way too much. Personally, once I stopped going to the AS online forum and talking to people on WP, I gave up in life! Talking to people on WP made me feel like things were possible in the real world with NTs.

I would advise to focus and learn how to take care of your elderly parents and plan your retirement. Also, focus on making one or two male friends and getting a wife, although that is impossible for some. Also, I would recommend going to job search, interview, 'networking', apprenticeship trainings so you are employable in the future too.



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03 Jul 2020, 7:04 am

“Compare and despair” is not a helpful way of thinking. Remember that you only see what other people want you to see, not the way things really are. There are no “oughts” in life either, only you make up your own rules for what you want to achieve.



bee33
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03 Jul 2020, 3:00 pm

A quick Google search yielded that about 10% of Americans are business owners, and that the average age of a small-business owner is about 50.



Jakki
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04 Jul 2020, 1:06 am

bee33 wrote:
A quick Google search yielded that about 10% of Ameri :D cans are business owners, and that the average age of a small-business owner is about 50.

Hmmm wonders if google only applies to 10% of the populace :) :)


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livingwithautism
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07 Jul 2020, 10:42 am

I just turned 30 this month and I live in a 24/7 group home. I can’t work a job and I can’t drive. In fact, I can’t go out in public without someone with me to make sure I don’t get hit by a car or get lost.



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07 Jul 2020, 11:09 am

I also don't own a business, also don't own a house, or ever had any car...


.. So does my mom. So does my sister.
So does practically half of my aunts and uncles of varying degrees.

So does at least 3/4ths of my whole country. Neurology never mattered much. :o
But they fancy the American dream and the idea of financial success.

I'm not joking.
We had to take care of ourselves than bug the system upstairs. We just contribute to each other.



While looking at the Joneses either inspires their idea of happiness -- it is meant to inspire stability and contribution to society.

If it inspires envy and shame, one had to throw it away.
It doesn't serve anyone well and does not do favors with one's mental health.


Find different ways to be happy and successful by yourself.
One may start by not deliberately looking at it by looking at other else's happiness or idea of success.


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dorkseid
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07 Jul 2020, 11:32 am

Depending on what part of the world you live in, owning a car might or might not be a necessity. It pretty much is where I live in the US. I currently own a Toyota Sentra, but I still kind of miss the Honda Accord I totaled.



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07 Jul 2020, 11:54 am

dorkseid wrote:
Depending on what part of the world you live in, owning a car might or might not be a necessity. It pretty much is where I live in the US. I currently own a Toyota Sentra, but I still kind of miss the Honda Accord I totaled.

This is just a common impression. There are car-less people everywhere. An excellent compromise in any urban area is to use a bicycle. It is easy to stop and explore anywhere, which makes it possible to find housing, work, and shops within a comfortable range. Where the main roads are too narrow and busy, there are alternate routes, often more scenic.



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07 Jul 2020, 12:35 pm

Dear_one wrote:
dorkseid wrote:
Depending on what part of the world you live in, owning a car might or might not be a necessity. It pretty much is where I live in the US. I currently own a Toyota Sentra, but I still kind of miss the Honda Accord I totaled.
This is just a common impression...
Perhaps for those who have easy access to public transportation; but for the rest of us, the necessity of a private vehicle is much more than just an "impression".

I live about 25 miles from work.  My daily one-way commute by private vehicle ranges between 30 and 90 minutes, depending on traffic, construction, and weather conditions.  Taking public transportation increases that time to a minimum of about 150 minutes.  Even then, there is a 3-mile gap between my office and the nearest bus stop (the train station is about 10 miles away).

Relocate?  Moving closer to my work means moving further from my wife's work.

Find another job?  I'm in my early 60s.  No one would hire me just to watch me retire.

Car pool?  I finally have a job where I don't have to sit shoulder-to-shoulder with other people.  CoViD-19 aside, being in such close proximity to other people (besides my wife) put me in a state of high anxiety.


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