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Thundragon
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01 Jul 2020, 9:16 pm

I got rejected by the one guy I loved most. I've been rejected so many times in the past and I've given up so many times. I'm so tired of this and I don't see how I can live a good life knowing that I wasted a whole year being friends with this man only for him to say no. I understand why he doesn't like me, though. I have terrible anxiety and depression, I have zero self-esteem and I'm obese. What I don't understand is why he was always so nice and caring to me. Why he didn't just say that he wasn't interested to begin with? It feels like he was just leading me on so that he could crush me when he got the chance.

I'm heartbroken. I'm on the verge of giving up on life. I don't have any friends to turn to - only my parents. I don't know what on Earth I should do. I've blocked/deleted him on everything for the time being as I can't bring myself to talk to him anymore. I need advice.



Pepe
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01 Jul 2020, 9:33 pm

Thundragon wrote:
I got rejected by the one guy I loved most. I've been rejected so many times in the past and I've given up so many times. I'm so tired of this and I don't see how I can live a good life knowing that I wasted a whole year being friends with this man only for him to say no. I understand why he doesn't like me, though. I have terrible anxiety and depression, I have zero self-esteem and I'm obese. What I don't understand is why he was always so nice and caring to me. Why he didn't just say that he wasn't interested to begin with? It feels like he was just leading me on so that he could crush me when he got the chance.

I'm heartbroken. I'm on the verge of giving up on life. I don't have any friends to turn to - only my parents. I don't know what on Earth I should do. I've blocked/deleted him on everything for the time being as I can't bring myself to talk to him anymore. I need advice.


Try to get your mind off of him.
Try to engage in things that don't remind you about him.
Remove any items or pictures that are associated with him.

Have a good long sleep,
Emotional distress can be worked out subconsciously/unconsciously during REM sleep,
To a large degree.

Exercise helps reduce anxiety.
Fresh air and sunshine helps with depression.
Take vitamins, if needed.
A good healthy diet makes you more resilient.
Losing weight will help gain you increased self-esteem.
But it is a long-term plan.
It will be a "2 steps forward and one step back", sort of thing.

You are very young.
You have an enormous amount of time to get yourself where you want to be.


_________________
Laughter is the best medicine. Age-appropriate behaviour is an arbitrary NT social construct.
Don't tell me white lies. Gaslight me at your peril. Don't give me your bad attitude.
If I'm so bad, pass me by. ;)


And one more thing,




Truth may be inconvenient but it is never politically incorrect...The Oracle of Truth has spoken...8)


Kiprobalhato
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02 Jul 2020, 3:33 am

i'm gonna agree with pepe here 8O

you are 18. life is just starting. i felt the same way when i was your age, about a girl, who rejected me.

an 8 year farce

you will meet other people. it is a good move to block and delete him, can't imagine that looking at his profile anywhere online would help matters.


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idntonkw
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02 Jul 2020, 4:17 am

Thundragon wrote:
I got rejected by the one guy I loved most. I've been rejected so many times in the past and I've given up so many times. I'm so tired of this and I don't see how I can live a good life knowing that I wasted a whole year being friends with this man only for him to say no. I understand why he doesn't like me, though. I have terrible anxiety and depression, I have zero self-esteem and I'm obese. What I don't understand is why he was always so nice and caring to me. Why he didn't just say that he wasn't interested to begin with? It feels like he was just leading me on so that he could crush me when he got the chance.

I'm heartbroken. I'm on the verge of giving up on life. I don't have any friends to turn to - only my parents. I don't know what on Earth I should do. I've blocked/deleted him on everything for the time being as I can't bring myself to talk to him anymore. I need advice.


Blocking him is a good way to get over him! I have done that with women who have frustrated and hurt me as well! He was friends with you for a year, so there must have been qualities about you that he enjoyed at least for the period of your friendship. Sometimes, two people are not on the same page, and the stronger feelings of one person can overwhelm the other person with weaker feelings. You can't force people to be on the same page with you. In fact, most of the time they won't! Have you considered offering the man to continue the friendship without the romantic terms you suggested? I personally do not like when a woman throws herself at me, even if she is the most good looking.



Thundragon
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02 Jul 2020, 5:07 am

idntonkw wrote:
Blocking him is a good way to get over him! I have done that with women who have frustrated and hurt me as well! He was friends with you for a year, so there must have been qualities about you that he enjoyed at least for the period of your friendship. Sometimes, two people are not on the same page, and the stronger feelings of one person can overwhelm the other person with weaker feelings. You can't force people to be on the same page with you. In fact, most of the time they won't! Have you considered offering the man to continue the friendship without the romantic terms you suggested? I personally do not like when a woman throws herself at me, even if she is the most good looking.


He and I had exactly the same interests. He shared some of his drawings with me and I did the same with him. We played video games online together for months. I simply asked to meet up with him a second time (we met up a little over a week ago) and he said he didn't want to. He said before that he'd look for more opportunities to meet up in the future, but now he's saying he doesn't want to see me. I can't bring myself to talk to him anymore as I feel that will hurt me even more.



Pepe
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02 Jul 2020, 5:10 am

Kiprobalhato wrote:
i'm gonna agree with pepe here 8O

you are 18. life is just starting. i felt the same way when i was your age, about a girl, who rejected me.

an 8 year farce

you will meet other people. it is a good move to block and delete him, can't imagine that looking at his profile anywhere online would help matters.

:heart:


_________________
Laughter is the best medicine. Age-appropriate behaviour is an arbitrary NT social construct.
Don't tell me white lies. Gaslight me at your peril. Don't give me your bad attitude.
If I'm so bad, pass me by. ;)


And one more thing,




Truth may be inconvenient but it is never politically incorrect...The Oracle of Truth has spoken...8)


kraftiekortie
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02 Jul 2020, 5:36 am

I remember how I felt when I was just a bit older than you.

This woman followed me home. She wanted to make love to me. She was curious because she was black and I was white. I had a terrible crush on her, though, and wanted to marry her.

She rejected me after we made love twice. I waited 2 years for the call that never came. I felt such heartbreak!

Do yourself a favor: know that there are other fish in the sea.

I also had a fiancée who I felt was my soulmate. But she left me for another man.



that1weirdgrrrl
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02 Jul 2020, 4:32 pm

I know it hurts like crazy, but it will get better eventually, hang in there, focus on doing things to bring yourself small happiness and pleasures :heart:

Most (if not all?) Of us have similar stories and experiences.

I spent a literal decade head over heels in love with a guy, only for him to turn absolutely vicious on me one day. To this day, I have no idea what caused him to turn on me. I can only guess that he had some psychological issues that never surfaced clearly before :?



The_Face_of_Boo
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02 Jul 2020, 4:38 pm

Pepe wrote:
Thundragon wrote:
I got rejected by the one guy I loved most. I've been rejected so many times in the past and I've given up so many times. I'm so tired of this and I don't see how I can live a good life knowing that I wasted a whole year being friends with this man only for him to say no. I understand why he doesn't like me, though. I have terrible anxiety and depression, I have zero self-esteem and I'm obese. What I don't understand is why he was always so nice and caring to me. Why he didn't just say that he wasn't interested to begin with? It feels like he was just leading me on so that he could crush me when he got the chance.

I'm heartbroken. I'm on the verge of giving up on life. I don't have any friends to turn to - only my parents. I don't know what on Earth I should do. I've blocked/deleted him on everything for the time being as I can't bring myself to talk to him anymore. I need advice.


Try to get your mind off of him.
Try to engage in things that don't remind you about him.
Remove any items or pictures that are associated with him.

Have a good long sleep,
Emotional distress can be worked out subconsciously/unconsciously during REM sleep,
To a large degree.

Exercise helps reduce anxiety.
Fresh air and sunshine helps with depression.
Take vitamins, if needed.
A good healthy diet makes you more resilient.
Losing weight will help gain you increased self-esteem.
But it is a long-term plan.
It will be a "2 steps forward and one step back", sort of thing.

You are very young.
You have an enormous amount of time to get yourself where you want to be.



Pepe, you can be so nice and wise sometimes.
I am impressed 8O.



Pepe
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02 Jul 2020, 11:41 pm

that1weirdgrrrl wrote:
I know it hurts like crazy, but it will get better eventually, hang in there, focus on doing things to bring yourself small happiness and pleasures :heart:

Most (if not all?) Of us have similar stories and experiences.

I spent a literal decade head over heels in love with a guy, only for him to turn absolutely vicious on me one day. To this day, I have no idea what caused him to turn on me. I can only guess that he had some psychological issues that never surfaced clearly before :?


I was in the pit of confusion and despair, for half my life.
It is the best time of my life now. :wink:


_________________
Laughter is the best medicine. Age-appropriate behaviour is an arbitrary NT social construct.
Don't tell me white lies. Gaslight me at your peril. Don't give me your bad attitude.
If I'm so bad, pass me by. ;)


And one more thing,




Truth may be inconvenient but it is never politically incorrect...The Oracle of Truth has spoken...8)


Pepe
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02 Jul 2020, 11:46 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Pepe wrote:
Thundragon wrote:
I got rejected by the one guy I loved most. I've been rejected so many times in the past and I've given up so many times. I'm so tired of this and I don't see how I can live a good life knowing that I wasted a whole year being friends with this man only for him to say no. I understand why he doesn't like me, though. I have terrible anxiety and depression, I have zero self-esteem and I'm obese. What I don't understand is why he was always so nice and caring to me. Why he didn't just say that he wasn't interested to begin with? It feels like he was just leading me on so that he could crush me when he got the chance.

I'm heartbroken. I'm on the verge of giving up on life. I don't have any friends to turn to - only my parents. I don't know what on Earth I should do. I've blocked/deleted him on everything for the time being as I can't bring myself to talk to him anymore. I need advice.


Try to get your mind off of him.
Try to engage in things that don't remind you about him.
Remove any items or pictures that are associated with him.

Have a good long sleep,
Emotional distress can be worked out subconsciously/unconsciously during REM sleep,
To a large degree.

Exercise helps reduce anxiety.
Fresh air and sunshine helps with depression.
Take vitamins, if needed.
A good healthy diet makes you more resilient.
Losing weight will help gain you increased self-esteem.
But it is a long-term plan.
It will be a "2 steps forward and one step back", sort of thing.

You are very young.
You have an enormous amount of time to get yourself where you want to be.



Pepe, you can be so nice and wise sometimes.
I am impressed 8O.


Thanks, mate.
I went through a hell of a lot of crap, in my life,
Like most people here.
You gain insight and get stronger, as a result.

BTW,
What do you mean by:
"Sometimes"? 8O :mrgreen:


_________________
Laughter is the best medicine. Age-appropriate behaviour is an arbitrary NT social construct.
Don't tell me white lies. Gaslight me at your peril. Don't give me your bad attitude.
If I'm so bad, pass me by. ;)


And one more thing,




Truth may be inconvenient but it is never politically incorrect...The Oracle of Truth has spoken...8)


Teach51
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03 Jul 2020, 11:38 am

Pepe wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Pepe wrote:
Thundragon wrote:
I got rejected by the one guy I loved most. I've been rejected so many times in the past and I've given up so many times. I'm so tired of this and I don't see how I can live a good life knowing that I wasted a whole year being friends with this man only for him to say no. I understand why he doesn't like me, though. I have terrible anxiety and depression, I have zero self-esteem and I'm obese. What I don't understand is why he was always so nice and caring to me. Why he didn't just say that he wasn't interested to begin with? It feels like he was just leading me on so that he could crush me when he got the chance.

I'm heartbroken. I'm on the verge of giving up on life. I don't have any friends to turn to - only my parents. I don't know what on Earth I should do. I've blocked/deleted him on everything for the time being as I can't bring myself to talk to him anymore. I need advice.


Try to get your mind off of him.
Try to engage in things that don't remind you about him.
Remove any items or pictures that are associated with him.

Have a good long sleep,
Emotional distress can be worked out subconsciously/unconsciously during REM sleep,
To a large degree.

Exercise helps reduce anxiety.
Fresh air and sunshine helps with depression.
Take vitamins, if needed.
A good healthy diet makes you more resilient.
Losing weight will help gain you increased self-esteem.
But it is a long-term plan.
It will be a "2 steps forward and one step back", sort of thing.

You are very young.
You have an enormous amount of time to get yourself where you want to be.



Pepe, you can be so nice and wise sometimes.
I am impressed 8O.


Thanks, mate.
I went through a hell of a lot of crap, in my life,
Like most people here.
You gain insight and get stronger, as a result.

BTW,
What do you mean by:
"Sometimes"? 8O :mrgreen:


Pepe I am also impressed :)


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My best will just have to be good enough.


Teach51
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03 Jul 2020, 11:40 am

Thundragon wrote:
I got rejected by the one guy I loved most. I've been rejected so many times in the past and I've given up so many times. I'm so tired of this and I don't see how I can live a good life knowing that I wasted a whole year being friends with this man only for him to say no. I understand why he doesn't like me, though. I have terrible anxiety and depression, I have zero self-esteem and I'm obese. What I don't understand is why he was always so nice and caring to me. Why he didn't just say that he wasn't interested to begin with? It feels like he was just leading me on so that he could crush me when he got the chance.

I'm heartbroken. I'm on the verge of giving up on life. I don't have any friends to turn to - only my parents. I don't know what on Earth I should do. I've blocked/deleted him on everything for the time being as I can't bring myself to talk to him anymore. I need advice.


(((((((Thundragon))))))


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Pepe
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04 Jul 2020, 1:08 am

Teach51 wrote:
Pepe wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Pepe wrote:
Thundragon wrote:
I got rejected by the one guy I loved most. I've been rejected so many times in the past and I've given up so many times. I'm so tired of this and I don't see how I can live a good life knowing that I wasted a whole year being friends with this man only for him to say no. I understand why he doesn't like me, though. I have terrible anxiety and depression, I have zero self-esteem and I'm obese. What I don't understand is why he was always so nice and caring to me. Why he didn't just say that he wasn't interested to begin with? It feels like he was just leading me on so that he could crush me when he got the chance.

I'm heartbroken. I'm on the verge of giving up on life. I don't have any friends to turn to - only my parents. I don't know what on Earth I should do. I've blocked/deleted him on everything for the time being as I can't bring myself to talk to him anymore. I need advice.


Try to get your mind off of him.
Try to engage in things that don't remind you about him.
Remove any items or pictures that are associated with him.

Have a good long sleep,
Emotional distress can be worked out subconsciously/unconsciously during REM sleep,
To a large degree.

Exercise helps reduce anxiety.
Fresh air and sunshine helps with depression.
Take vitamins, if needed.
A good healthy diet makes you more resilient.
Losing weight will help gain you increased self-esteem.
But it is a long-term plan.
It will be a "2 steps forward and one step back", sort of thing.

You are very young.
You have an enormous amount of time to get yourself where you want to be.



Pepe, you can be so nice and wise sometimes.
I am impressed 8O.


Thanks, mate.
I went through a hell of a lot of crap, in my life,
Like most people here.
You gain insight and get stronger, as a result.

BTW,
What do you mean by:
"Sometimes"? 8O :mrgreen:


Pepe I am also impressed :)


To the point of "Upgrading"? 8O

I was very overweight when I was young.
I gained a lot of satisfaction/self-esteem/confidence by losing it.

I still had to work on my personality/knowledge,
But you have to start somewhere. :wink:


_________________
Laughter is the best medicine. Age-appropriate behaviour is an arbitrary NT social construct.
Don't tell me white lies. Gaslight me at your peril. Don't give me your bad attitude.
If I'm so bad, pass me by. ;)


And one more thing,




Truth may be inconvenient but it is never politically incorrect...The Oracle of Truth has spoken...8)


Chain
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07 Jul 2020, 1:57 pm

Thundragon wrote:
I got rejected by the one guy I loved most. I've been rejected so many times in the past and I've given up so many times. I'm so tired of this and I don't see how I can live a good life knowing that I wasted a whole year being friends with this man only for him to say no. I understand why he doesn't like me, though. I have terrible anxiety and depression, I have zero self-esteem and I'm obese. What I don't understand is why he was always so nice and caring to me. Why he didn't just say that he wasn't interested to begin with? It feels like he was just leading me on so that he could crush me when he got the chance.

I'm heartbroken. I'm on the verge of giving up on life. I don't have any friends to turn to - only my parents. I don't know what on Earth I should do. I've blocked/deleted him on everything for the time being as I can't bring myself to talk to him anymore. I need advice.


I feel for you! I recently lost a friendship with someone who was always saying things that I was thinking... something changed and she started giving me that look. Even at 53, I cried and it hurt intensely.

It will heal for you given time. Cry as much as you need. We may never get used to the heartbreak that we have over and over being ASD but we can learn to handle the pain. I was numb at your age and tried to protect my heart. I have found that, for me, an open heart heals faster. Being numb does not help... it is a slow ripping off of the band-aid.

Virtual hugs and healing your way!



Brehus
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Posts: 304

07 Jul 2020, 2:59 pm

Thundragon wrote:
I got rejected by the one guy I loved most. I've been rejected so many times in the past and I've given up so many times. I'm so tired of this and I don't see how I can live a good life knowing that I wasted a whole year being friends with this man only for him to say no. I understand why he doesn't like me, though. I have terrible anxiety and depression, I have zero self-esteem and I'm obese. What I don't understand is why he was always so nice and caring to me. Why he didn't just say that he wasn't interested to begin with? It feels like he was just leading me on so that he could crush me when he got the chance.

I'm heartbroken. I'm on the verge of giving up on life. I don't have any friends to turn to - only my parents. I don't know what on Earth I should do. I've blocked/deleted him on everything for the time being as I can't bring myself to talk to him anymore. I need advice.


As for GAD is runs in my family and it is really bad and I have it I really struggled with it but I found a very strong PTSD / Anxiety drug called phenibut it is sold OTC in the USA I started taking it in 2007 and it made all the difference in the world for me and I ended up meeting my wife in 2008 and I move over 750 miles to where she was before the phenibut I never would have been able to accomplish that.

Guys with good hearts that has no interested in you in a romantic way will be good to you and keep you in friend zone because they don't want to hurt you or destroy you. I do that I have female friends that will always be just friends. 90% of my friends were females before I met my wife many were married so another reason many stayed in the friend zone as I was raised you don't mess with another man's girl.

With that being said I meet my AS wife on a video game and only talked on the phone we were calling ourself BF and GF before we exchange pictures. She turned out to be drop dead beautiful 5 ft 5 95 pounds she could have been a model but to be honest if I was hung up on looks I wouldn't have been calling her my GF before we exchanged pictures and I would of married he regardless the only thing I personally get hung up on is I never dated divorced women or women with children don't want a women that has shown she will abandon her man when things get tough. With my wife having AS things get tough but I would never abandon her.


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