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Whale_Tuune
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07 Jul 2020, 2:47 pm

I don't have many close friends. I have one close friend, her friend who I am also friends with (but she's the link between us tbh), a few older church friends, a handful of distant childhood friends and a few online friends.

I still feel lonely a lot. Is this kind of loneliness part of the parcel with Autism? :T


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Steve1963
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07 Jul 2020, 2:53 pm

Whale_Tuune wrote:
I still feel lonely a lot. Is this kind of loneliness part of the parcel with Autism? :T
I don't know. I can only speak for myself of course, but I've always felt lonely. Even when I'm with people. I have a wife and five children, but no real friends to speak of.



HeroOfHyrule
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07 Jul 2020, 3:16 pm

I currently have a couple online friends, but I've never been good at making friends in real life. I've had probably four actual friends in real life the entire time I've been alive, but none of them talk to me anymore.

Regarding loneliness being packaged with autism, I don't know. When I was a kid I actually wasn't that lonely since I liked being by myself, but now that I'm older and more aware of the fact that I should have friends it bothers me more and more.


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Velorum
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07 Jul 2020, 3:26 pm

I have known two people for 55 years - we met in primary school. We have remained in touch all of our lives and meet up once a year, sometimes twice - though we do exchange email a little more frequently. That's about as close as I have got to having friends.

In addition to my two daughters and five grandsons I have over recent years been adopted by a much larger extended family via remarriage.

In between marriages I lived quite happily on my own. Never felt lonely.

That's enough for me - I neither want nor need friends.

I am quite friendly with work colleagues but have no desire to socialise or otherwise spend time with them outside of work.


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Pieplup
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07 Jul 2020, 3:51 pm

Whale_Tuune wrote:
I don't have many close friends. I have one close friend, her friend who I am also friends with (but she's the link between us tbh), a few older church friends, a handful of distant childhood friends and a few online friends.

I still feel lonely a lot. Is this kind of loneliness part of the parcel with Autism? :T

Personally, I've never been able to tell when someone's trying to be my friend. As a result i look online for friends. Idk if I'd even have the social skills to maintain that relationship as i struggle to maintain friendships on the internet. I often don't know how to deal with situations on the internet or irl. That can be stressful for me. As for being lonely. I don't know if i'm in-tune enough with my emotions to tell you. Tbh i don't feel lonely much, Excluded sometimes maybe. In Preschool and kindergarten I did have a few friends. I was a lot more social then.


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Jakki
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07 Jul 2020, 3:54 pm

Have for your friends the very best of friends, ancient Chinese philosophy quote .


Have found friends are Good to find , when they appear , but these days appearances aren’t always what they appear . Have had a few very precious friends . But mostly am pretty happy with myself as my best friend.


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nadroJ
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07 Jul 2020, 6:13 pm

I do not have any friends at the moment except my mum and brother.

Through out my childhood to early teenage years, was completely oblivious to what a friendship was and never really considered or knew that having a friend was a possibility. When I was not overwhelmed by the world or when I was not pre-occupied with hallucinations I was experiencing, I would spend a lot off time reading, content in my own visual mind. Never really needed friendships.

I was always too overwhelmed by some internal and external factors (sensory sensitivities, in particular light sensitivity, anxiety, hallucinations, internal world) to communicate with even family and family friend networks, so I just avoid it.

More at peace alone.



cyberdad
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07 Jul 2020, 6:18 pm

Currently no close friends....

My main mode in my younger years was to have a an older more experienced close friend.

Like the Jedi order - one apprentice one master :lol:



Aprilviolets
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07 Jul 2020, 10:11 pm

I have a best Friend that I went to school with we've been friends for years, I do have other friends that I see in the community center I go to.



Edna3362
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08 Jul 2020, 3:48 am

I do.
Though, I don't keep them. :lol: If others want to keep it and keep coming to me for it, I'd honor it.

I happened to be one of those asocial autistics with no social drive.
This does not mean I don't enjoy or appreciate relationships.


Had I've been socially driven, keeping friends would be willfully two-way than mainly one-way laissez faire style of socialization.


Loneliness is not a part of the parcel of autism, it's a part of human parcel. :o


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Summer_Twilight
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08 Jul 2020, 12:22 pm

Yes, loneliness can come from being on the spectrum because it's hard to connect with other people. Then again, there are lots of allistic people who are lonely too. The trick during that time is to learn to like yourself

Check out Daniel Wendler and Kyler Schumway -

Daniel is on the spectrum and had friends off and one while Kyler is an NT and didn't have any friends and became a bully himself for a while to other people. However, after Kyler got help, he crossed paths with Daniel and the two of them became friends.

As for me having friends, yes I do.



LunaticCentruroides
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08 Jul 2020, 7:44 pm

Can someone define what "friends" actually means?
Cause I could name a bunch of people I see/talk to maybe once a year lol



cyberdad
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08 Jul 2020, 7:47 pm

Friendship means different things to different people...



kraftiekortie
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08 Jul 2020, 8:06 pm

I have a friend I have known for 38 years. I see him once a year.



Kiprobalhato
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09 Jul 2020, 4:15 am

kind of hard to define that these days.

i have three people i'm friendly with. two of them over a thousand miles away. that seems to be plenty for me.


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cyberdad
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09 Jul 2020, 6:33 am

I have friends I've now lost who I do reminisce how we used to sit around listening to our own voices day after day (like an echo chamber)
We thought we were going crazy (Like Seinfled, George, Kramer and Elaine) but they were actually happy days now that I look back.

Pink Floyd (no relation to George) kind of reflect how I feel