Difficulties in “mature” conversations?

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xxZeromancerlovexx
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11 Aug 2020, 4:57 pm

Adult conversations about politics, philosophy, religion and current events can be very hard for me. I know politics and current events are important but when it comes to people I’m around like at dinners or just hanging out people who enjoy more “reality” based interest than me ask my opinion I just sit there and blank out.

I love video games, plushies, makeup and cartoons but I feel awkward when I mention them around people who prefer autobiography books and listening to NPR. There’s no one else like me who understands this. I just feel really alone and scared during those conversations.

Has anyone else felt alone and scared in reality based conversations?


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blooiejagwa
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11 Aug 2020, 8:36 pm

yeah ..
it ruins my peace of mind. i used to get obsessed and researched and read and read books and books of serious things ..
but then in conversations i'd hear something (like historical inaccuracies) and KNOW it was false or not the whole truth, thus painting a false picutre-- and get really agitated and i dont like feeling like that.
even here i see something and fight myself to stop getting drawn to correct something, or ask someone details, etc.

about serious things.
or i get super sad..hearing some things or my mind feels sad even if the topic isn't.. the level of depth is what really bothers it-- it becomes too much.

my brain already feels inflamed as it is, from daily tasks.

my little sister is the opposite, she loves everything serious and mature .. she has tons of books on ethics, medical, philosophy, religons, etc.

she reads those books, she makes annotations and notes every day after work, with notebooks and post it notes and everything. .she has long conversations with old men of different points of view and enjoys learning their perspectives.. everything like that..

she can handle it emotionally too.. unlike me..


she doesn't get agitated like me ..


and her husband is like that too.. they listen to all kinds of lectures and stuff.


i did too (to fit in with my family) but...
it really agitates me but i try to pick it up.. just so i can be an okay person to converse with...also because i want to give the impression that i'm enjoying their company...
because otherwise i'd get people thinking i was angry at THEM - it wasn't them, it was me finding it difficult to handle what they were speaking about ..

but the world needs both types of people.
and the serious people probably need a change and enjoy the relief of talking about lighter things, with people..

they can all be happy doing charades and pictionary and some board games, together, though
so yeah..


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Tufted Titmouse
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15 Aug 2020, 9:02 pm

Wine discussions. Don't get it. I'm not going to put the time and money into it. But then there are some conversations where I will not be saying anything.

Although today we did agree that they are not wrong for liking flavored cooking vinegar and I am not wrong for not using flavored cooking vinegar. There are people out there that care more about the person than the conversation topic.

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Oh_no_its_Ferris
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15 Aug 2020, 9:13 pm

I'm not a fan of politics, philosophy, religion and current events discussions unless I can inject humour into it. I can be serious but it's not my normal mode. I don't feel alone or scared in 'reality based conversations' , it's just not for me.


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Pepe
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16 Aug 2020, 1:16 am

xxZeromancerlovexx wrote:
Adult conversations about politics, philosophy, religion and current events can be very hard for me. I know politics and current events are important but when it comes to people I’m around like at dinners or just hanging out people who enjoy more “reality” based interest than me ask my opinion I just sit there and blank out.

I love video games, plushies, makeup and cartoons but I feel awkward when I mention them around people who prefer autobiography books and listening to NPR. There’s no one else like me who understands this. I just feel really alone and scared during those conversations.

Has anyone else felt alone and scared in reality based conversations?


Just putting in the hard yakka (effort) in learning about current events will give you a base.
You don't have to be an expert. You can simply ask questions.
Most people are happy to impart their knowledge. :wink:


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Whale_Tuune
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17 Aug 2020, 8:31 pm

For one thing, you are never too old to enjoy makeup, plushies, videogames or cartoons. I know full-grown adults with high-powered legal jobs, or who are married with kids who play videogames and watch cartoons, I know of famous authors in their sixties who write fanfiction, I know people of every age who love Disney. You're never too old for any of that. I'm 21 and you know when I'm 26 I'll still be doing that stuff, God willing. You're never too old to enjoy things you enjoy.

Secondly, it's a good idea to have a cursory understanding of politics so you know what you want to vote for and support, but it's no crime for it not to be your passion. Maybe read the news and headlines a few times a week, and if someone asks, you can carry a conversation about what you make of all of it, but you don't have to pretend you're a political nut.

History and religion are broad concepts with a whole lot of information. I might like reading about early Christianity and female scientists throughout history, you might think reading about Mahayana Buddhism and the Romanovs or listening to Gregorian chant and watching 1930s Fred Astaire movies is a blast. Don't knock whole categories of study before you find something that grips you, but don't force interests on yourself.

Have you attended videogame conventions? You might find people with similar interests there.


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