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King Kat 1
Blue Jay
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Joined: 14 Aug 2020
Age: 40
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Location: NW Ohio

04 Sep 2020, 2:21 am

What I mean is, do you tend to wait for people to talk you VS you approaching them? For me, people usually have to reach out to me. If you never say anything to me, it's likely I won't say anything to you ever. Part of it is bad social anxiety and part of it is, it feels fake to me and too much work.

I only do well with low maintenance relationships, anything more is too taxing and complicated. Whats weird is I do enjoy social interaction if it's someone I "Click" with but its rare that happens. A lot of the time I get left out of stuff and am isolated.

Some have even hated me and talked s**t about me, for not talking. Which happend in this one job situation. I've been thought of as stuck up. which is so not true. I just can't think of anything to say.

I likely have some sort of social avoidence issue or something but trying to talk to someone I don't know is just terrifying to me.



Fireblossom
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04 Sep 2020, 8:28 am

I usually talk first. If I didn't, I'd have very little social contact even compared to the limited amount I have now. I think something about my body language shouts "don't talk to me" even when I don't intend to have it do so.



Mountain Goat
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Location: Wales,UK Relationship: Single Interests: Trains AgeGroup: 40's FavouriteColor: Green Music: CyndiLauper Pets: Cats and Ducks

04 Sep 2020, 8:34 am

I let others approach me. I do not often start conversations but once I feel comfortable and open up and steer a conversation to something I can relate to, people can't shut me up. Hahaha!


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Mr Reynholm
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Joined: 19 Feb 2019
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04 Sep 2020, 12:42 pm

Yeah, I can totally relate to your problem King Kat. Its very hard for me to think of anything to say to someone I don't know. Most of my friends tend to be very outgoing sanguine people. Probably because I don't compete with them for attention. :D



AcidicBlue3127
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Joined: 14 Jun 2020
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04 Sep 2020, 1:15 pm

If it's online then I dont have any issues reaching out to someone first - totally not scary at all.

In person though...I usually do not talk first at all. I wait and let the other person start the conversation so I can just build off that. Otherwise all my conversation pieces are just scripted things that I have memorized for specific social interactions.

I also have severe anxiety in general, social anxiety, I will absolutely become overwhelmed and go mute, and I get so stressed with social interaction I start sweating and look like I am in pain. So not cute, not approachable.