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 Forum: Love and Dating   Topic: How Do I Not Feel Undesirable?

Posted: 50 minutes ago 

Replies: 32
Views: 1,481


It's really sad that it's come to this, and yeah, makes me wish I wasn't alive. When I was younger, I wanted to have my first sexual experience with a similarly inexperienced partner and explore that uncharted territory with them. Now, not only is that almost certainly off the table, but the only wa...

 Forum: Love and Dating   Topic: I dont know what to do

 Post subject: Re: I dont know what to do
Posted: 27 Oct 2022, 10:51 pm 

Replies: 4
Views: 487


You can't be just friends with someone who is intensely interested in you romantically.

I'd advis telling him you can't be around him if he can't respect that you're not interested in him romantically, and if he doesn't change his behaviour, cut him off.

 Forum: Love and Dating   Topic: A life lesson for the active guys here: never chase.

Posted: 24 Oct 2022, 5:25 am 

Replies: 77
Views: 6,757


I would say anyone who fails to show interest will likely remain single (regardless of gender or sexuality). Yeah, absolutely, but I meant being the first to show interest. Maybe my perception has just been warped by having no one ever show an interest in dating me, but don't women tend to get appr...

 Forum: The Haven   Topic: Why Shouldn't I Just Kill Myself?

Posted: 24 Oct 2022, 4:54 am 

Replies: 135
Views: 3,197


The situation I'm in inflicts intense emotional distress and existential angst on me. The most important thing right now is to fill the gaping romantic void in my life with some kind of connection that makes me feel validated and accepted as a heterosexual man. To the extent that I'm able to achieve...

 Forum: Love and Dating   Topic: A life lesson for the active guys here: never chase.

Posted: 23 Oct 2022, 4:16 am 

Replies: 77
Views: 6,757


I don’t think it's generally a good idea to come on strong with indicating interest towards someone who hasn't indicated any interest towards you. Conversely, I don't think we should always just wait until someone shows us interest before we do anything either. I think at first, it's better to try t...

 Forum: Love and Dating   Topic: why are most posts here by heterosexual men?

Posted: 23 Oct 2022, 4:06 am 

Replies: 37
Views: 1,270


There are a lot of heterosexual autistic guys who can't get a girlfriend and who have very little or no dating experience well into adulthood. Naturally we all flock to this section to espouse our grievances.

 Forum: The Haven   Topic: Why Shouldn't I Just Kill Myself?

Posted: 14 Oct 2022, 2:14 am 

Replies: 135
Views: 3,197


Like most people, sounds like you need focused practice at being Present vs. allowing intrusive thoughts to steal your present moment and waste your time dwelling on thoughts that don't serve you in the moment. I need to practice this a lot more, too. Here's a bit of an extended version of the Goal...

 Forum: The Haven   Topic: Why Shouldn't I Just Kill Myself?

Posted: 13 Oct 2022, 11:31 am 

Replies: 135
Views: 3,197


So train your mind to focus on something different that you Think you Can achieve. Career, education, art, engineering - whatever. Do a thing with your mental energy instead of destroying yourself & you'll be happier for it. (And then who knows, perhaps being happier ends up resolving your lack...

 Forum: The Haven   Topic: Why Shouldn't I Just Kill Myself?

Posted: 13 Oct 2022, 10:05 am 

Replies: 135
Views: 3,197


I'd say it's both. (mindset influencing behaviour + cosmic forces) Just because it isn't that simple doesn't mean it cannot or will not happen. Take a look at my posting history for the last ~decade. I firmly believed that I should not/could not be in a relationship. But now, as strange a dynamic a...

 Forum: Love and Dating   Topic: The Three Tiers Of Dating Market Value

Posted: 13 Oct 2022, 9:57 am 

Replies: 105
Views: 4,534


In the case for bottom tier autistic men, they basically have four options. Option 1. Continue to chase hot girls out of your league for years and years, and maybe one will eventually say yes. Option 2: Accept the fact you don’t have much to offer and lower your standards to realistic levels and da...

 Forum: The Haven   Topic: Why Shouldn't I Just Kill Myself?

Posted: 12 Oct 2022, 12:29 am 

Replies: 135
Views: 3,197


Uhmm… thinking on this it seemed to occur to me to remind you , We are all Aspies here I believe , and these issues Are very very common amongst Aspies and Romantic interfaces ……. And being a common issue might not be advantageous to make yourself extinct. You may only serve to take one more player...

 Forum: The Haven   Topic: Why Shouldn't I Just Kill Myself?

Posted: 11 Oct 2022, 6:21 pm 

Replies: 135
Views: 3,197


I get what you're saying, but when you've never had a relationship despite wanting one for a long time, it's hard not to feel unwanted, and those feelings of inadequacy have the potential to be stoked every time I find myself exposed to a couple. It's not a good way to be. I know this feeling, and ...

 Forum: Love and Dating   Topic: 25 Places/Ideas To Meet A Woman To Date

Posted: 09 Oct 2022, 12:09 pm 

Replies: 17
Views: 608


You seem to have a lot to say about how others should go about being successful in dating for someone with so little dating success himself.

 Forum: Love and Dating   Topic: Maybe I should go ahead and date non-whites

Posted: 06 Oct 2022, 6:02 pm 

Replies: 177
Views: 2,832


OP, it seems like you are fundamentally missing the point of what dating is all about. Dating isn't about having a rigid list of criteria, and only settling when you can’t find someone who meets that criteria. Dating isn't just about passing on your genes and getting validation from another person. ...

 Forum: Love and Dating   Topic: autistic gals vs autistic guys

Posted: 05 Oct 2022, 9:24 pm 

Replies: 50
Views: 1,849


Most of us ended up being gaslit or otherwise abused if we tried to support specific members I hope that's not the case, I don't remember seeing anything like that. You likely aren't aware of it because it typically happens on PM. Some of these men reach out for friendship or support but they becom...

 Forum: The Haven   Topic: scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?

Posted: 03 Oct 2022, 6:29 pm 

Replies: 34,799
Views: 1,689,787


IsabellaLinton wrote:
-10

The biopsies are back and both are malignant.

That's awful news :( I hope your mother will be ok.

Sending you and her well-wishes.
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