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Message |
Forum: Social Skills and Making Friends Topic: How to get on with Neurotypicals |
| KitLily |
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Posted: Yesterday, 11:44 am
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Replies: 111
Views: 2,370
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| btw, there is no sense of community in the countryside now. Everyone is too busy working and spending time on the internet here too. Traditional villages died out during the dawn of the industrial age in the 1800s. But they still hold some faint memory of community in some form. Only if you've live... |
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Forum: The Haven Topic: Rants |
| KitLily |
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Posted: Yesterday, 11:42 am
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Replies: 8,489
Views: 562,368
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| If I found my mothership/ true species, I'd be so happy. I don't like these humans on Earth, I don't understand them. |
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Forum: Autism Politics, Activism, and Media Representation Topic: Autism now more common among Black, Hispanic kids in US |
| KitLily |
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Posted: Yesterday, 4:47 am
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Replies: 18
Views: 466
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| I also have a feeling that life on Earth is getting more difficult, faster, more complicated, and more and more humans are getting 'left behind'. In the past we lived in smaller communities where everyone was related to each other, or at least had clear jobs and status in the community e.g. they wer... |
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Forum: Social Skills and Making Friends Topic: How to get on with Neurotypicals |
| KitLily |
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Posted: Yesterday, 4:31 am
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Replies: 111
Views: 2,370
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| Ever since people started moving out of villages and into cities the evolution of NT transactional relationships began to emerge. When you don't know people you build trusts through trade/mutual benefit. At a certain point in the friendship the relationship reaches an equilibrium so the original tr... |
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Forum: Random Discussion Topic: Things I Don't Get |
| KitLily |
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Posted: Yesterday, 4:25 am
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Replies: 1,124
Views: 24,579
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| Broth is thinner than soup. Chicken broth is ...chicken flavored water. No solid bits of chicken or vegetables. You cook things in "broth" that you wouldnt cook in "soup". What's thick creamy soup without bits in then? That's the soup I like: thick and creamy with no bits in. e.... |
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Forum: Social Skills and Making Friends Topic: How to get on with Neurotypicals |
| KitLily |
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Posted: 31 Mar 2023, 4:08 pm
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Replies: 111
Views: 2,370
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Anyway, I'm sticking with the rules in my first comment, they work for me  |
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Forum: Random Discussion Topic: Things I Don't Get |
| KitLily |
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Posted: 31 Mar 2023, 1:36 pm
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Replies: 1,124
Views: 24,579
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| I read that a good conversation starter is to talk about something in the environment you're in. e.g. the weather. Or the scenery, the temperature etc. That's a safe thing to talk about then you can move into other topics. I think autistic people tend to launch into big, important topics i.e. not s... |
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Forum: Random Discussion Topic: Things I Don't Get |
| KitLily |
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Posted: 31 Mar 2023, 1:34 pm
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Replies: 1,124
Views: 24,579
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| It can be intimidating when someone in authority has a go at you when you're not exactly breaking any rules or hurting anybody. I remember when a teacher yelled at me at college once because I was feeling really sick and was concentrating on fighting off the urge to puke so I didn't want to move a ... |
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Forum: The Haven Topic: Can't stand ''toxic'' positivity. |
| KitLily |
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Posted: 31 Mar 2023, 1:26 pm
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Replies: 18
Views: 286
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| I think toxic positivity seems to be something prioritised by English speaking countries. Europeans don't cover their feelings with a happy, smiley front 24/7, they show ALL their emotions. It seems endemic in the U.S.. Most likely a product of the rugged individualist pioneer culture. It really bo... |
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Forum: The Haven Topic: I do not fit in and I will never fit in and that is okay. |
| KitLily |
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Posted: 31 Mar 2023, 1:23 pm
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Replies: 32
Views: 473
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| Women are also expected to be more social than men, and when they aren't, it is regarded as cute. Or something else. You often hear about the brooding lone wolf in the corner, but with women she is the shy wall flower. A little quirky. I have found the opposite. As a woman, I'm supposed to know all... |
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Forum: Social Skills and Making Friends Topic: I seem to have made a friend, then they're suddenly gone |
| KitLily |
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Posted: 31 Mar 2023, 1:17 pm
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Replies: 156
Views: 5,357
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| About 10 years ago, I met someone through an anime meet-up group who seemed really nice and wanted to connect. So we started connecting on FB and things were fine in the beginning. Then one day, he and I appeared to have a nice conversation via FB messenger until he asked me if I was going to their... |
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Forum: The Haven Topic: I do not fit in and I will never fit in and that is okay. |
| KitLily |
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Posted: 31 Mar 2023, 9:43 am
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Replies: 32
Views: 473
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| I feel the same- I don't fit in with non-autistic or autistic people. Or anyone. I think partly it's how the world is these days: you have to be one or the other- red or blue, left or right etc. and I don't fit in with either camp. People can't classify me so they ignore me. Because when I was young... |
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Forum: Social Skills and Making Friends Topic: How to get on with Neurotypicals |
| KitLily |
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Posted: 31 Mar 2023, 9:30 am
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Replies: 111
Views: 2,370
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| It's biologically programmed in NT peers to seek mutually beneficial relationships. If you see that another person (who is your peer) is also benefitting from a friendship (rather than just one-way traffic) then you continue to "transact" so as to maintain some form of stability in the re... |
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Forum: Social Skills and Making Friends Topic: How to get on with Neurotypicals |
| KitLily |
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Posted: 31 Mar 2023, 9:26 am
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Replies: 111
Views: 2,370
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| I totally agree with you. A guy online (not social media) said this: It's possible we took a wrong turn somewhere when we started focusing on metrics in our everyday life. It's ok to do something just because you want to, or because it brings you personal joy / fulfillment / satisfaction. It's ok i... |
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Forum: The Haven Topic: Can't stand ''toxic'' positivity. |
| KitLily |
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Posted: 31 Mar 2023, 9:18 am
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Replies: 18
Views: 286
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| I've never found trying to "fake it until I make it" to actually work. It just makes me feel even worse when I finally give up/in. Same here Daniel. I find it better to accept whatever feeling I'm having, sit with it, and then it will pass. I think toxic positivity seems to be something p... |
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Forum: The Haven Topic: Can't stand ''toxic'' positivity. |
| KitLily |
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Posted: 30 Mar 2023, 1:59 pm
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Replies: 18
Views: 286
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| Humans are all capable of feeling a range of emotions and none are negative or positive. They just are. These people who go on about being positive all the time are either fooling themselves or restricted in their emotional range IMO. They annoy me too, it's not normal to be positive 24/7. It's norm... |
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