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 Forum: Social Skills and Making Friends   Topic: You don't need to make much effort when making friends

Posted: 17 Oct 2021, 1:25 pm 

Replies: 31
Views: 840


I think the bulk of the items on the "second list" are Cluster-B personality traits (i.e. narcissism, psychopathy, histrionic personality, etc.) - yeah, either that, or a Hitler-like hardcore authoritarian personality with Machiavellian leanings. 8O Like I said earlier: the "goal&quo...

 Forum: Social Skills and Making Friends   Topic: You don't need to make much effort when making friends

Posted: 15 Oct 2021, 8:33 pm 

Replies: 31
Views: 840


I think the bulk of the items on the "second list" are Cluster-B personality traits (i.e. narcissism, psychopathy, histrionic personality, etc.) - yeah, either that, or a Hitler-like hardcore authoritarian personality with Machiavellian leanings. 8O Like I said earlier: the "goal"...

 Forum: Social Skills and Making Friends   Topic: You don't need to make much effort when making friends

Posted: 13 Oct 2021, 7:09 am 

Replies: 31
Views: 840


The distance from Boston to New York is EXACTLY the same as the distance from New York to Boston. "Simply put, the theory of the double empathy problem suggests that when people with very different experiences of the world interact with one another, they will struggle to empathise with each ot...

 Forum: Social Skills and Making Friends   Topic: You don't need to make much effort when making friends

Posted: 12 Oct 2021, 8:42 pm 

Replies: 31
Views: 840


I hear you, my fellow Aspies, when bemoaning the seemingly trivial nonverbal incongruencies. :( I myself practiced expression in a mirror while speaking on random things, after my diagnosis in my late 20s... and found a noticeable improvement, which enabled me to mask and pass for NT. I also have qu...

 Forum: General Autism Discussion   Topic: Intentionality doesn't matter??

Posted: 08 Oct 2021, 3:24 pm 

Replies: 11
Views: 267


I think it's fair to say that those of us with ASD have had a history of making others feel uncomfortable WITHOUT INTENT. Whereas, if an NT makes someone feel uncomfortable, it is generally with intent. That is, unless they're an abnormally large person (with lots of tattoos), have a very brash pers...

 Forum: General Autism Discussion   Topic: Do you have trouble with prioritization?

Posted: 08 Oct 2021, 1:21 pm 

Replies: 15
Views: 380


I used to. Growing up I was given orders more often than education, sheltered too much by my parents, and been misguided by bullies trying to make me their servant. And then when left on my own, I lost myself in the security of perfectionism. New environments and jobs were troublesome, to say the l...

 Forum: General Autism Discussion   Topic: Intentionality doesn't matter??

Posted: 08 Oct 2021, 1:15 pm 

Replies: 11
Views: 267


Do you ever get the feeling that, as a spectrumite, people treat you as though intentionality your part doesn't matter? I was just reading a book called "The WEIRDest People in the World" by Joseph Henrich (where "WEIRD" means Western, Educated, Industrialized, Rich, and Democrat...

 Forum: General Autism Discussion   Topic: Do you have trouble with prioritization?

Posted: 08 Oct 2021, 12:50 pm 

Replies: 15
Views: 380


I remember reading some book, I think it was "An Anthropologist on Mars" by the late neurologist and author Oliver Sacks - some anecdote about a man who'd suffered a TBI and it adversely affected that region of the brain that deals with prioritization, and his legal career went down the tu...

 Forum: General Autism Discussion   Topic: Are NTs more susceptible to "the 7 deadly sins"??

Posted: 03 Oct 2021, 3:56 pm 

Replies: 21
Views: 515


I mean, regardless of your religious convictions...have you ever wondered if NTs are more susceptible to the "Seven Deadly Sins" (greed, gluttony, sloth, pride, lust, envy and wrath) than us ASD/HFA folks are?? Based on their "genetic makeup" or operating system, whatever you wan...

 Forum: General Autism Discussion   Topic: Have you had "post facto" 3rd party criticism?

Posted: 03 Oct 2021, 2:28 pm 

Replies: 2
Views: 115


Mostly people just give each other looks or avoid me. This is why it is hard to answer the ASD evaluation questions "has anyone ever told you..." No, people don't talk to me. I can see the non-verbal communication very clearly (although folks have suggested I might be looking at other thi...

 Forum: General Autism Discussion   Topic: Do you have trouble with prioritization?

Posted: 03 Oct 2021, 1:52 pm 

Replies: 15
Views: 380


Or, perhaps the more apt question is: do you have trouble insofar as other people criticizing your sense of prioritization? IME, I had a few times when I didn't realize that I was (de-)prioritizing the wrong things until someone (a co-worker, my boss or my wife / gf) pointed it out to me. It seems t...

 Forum: General Autism Discussion   Topic: Have you had "post facto" 3rd party criticism?

Posted: 03 Oct 2021, 10:38 am 

Replies: 2
Views: 115


What I mean by that is, have "third parties" i.e. bystanders or witnesses of a social interaction you had with somebody criticized you after the fact, e.g. "Umm, you DID realize by her facial expression that she wasn't really interested, right??" or "Couldn't you tell by the...

 Forum: General Autism Discussion   Topic: Do you agree with this statement??

Posted: 17 Sep 2021, 5:41 pm 

Replies: 5
Views: 183


I recall reading on another forum recently, something to the effect of: "There is a greater difference between NTs and autistics in the same (Western) country, then there is between NTs and people from other cultures." I lost the source, and I don't know where the author was coming from on...

 Forum: General Autism Discussion   Topic: Has anyone ever said, "Your facial expression isn't right"?

Posted: 14 Sep 2021, 12:03 pm 

Replies: 10
Views: 333


I think ONE area where the call-out of "your facial expression doesn't seem right", albeit more indirectly (not verbatim!) occurs is when peers see your face forming into a puzzled expression when someone tells you a nuanced statement or reply to something, and you're consciously trying to...

 Forum: General Autism Discussion   Topic: Has anyone ever said, "Your facial expression isn't right"?

Posted: 14 Sep 2021, 11:59 am 

Replies: 10
Views: 333


One thing I can tell you is that if somebody has to go to the bathroom really bad (and you don't know it), then all bets are off as to their supposed state of mind :P :D :lol:

 Forum: General Autism Discussion   Topic: Has anyone ever said, "Your facial expression isn't right"?

Posted: 12 Sep 2021, 5:57 pm 

Replies: 10
Views: 333


It's funny but from most of the interactions I can recall where someone "called out" one of my expressions, it was almost invariably accurate... they'd say "you seem sad" or "you seem puzzled" or "you seem angry" or even positive i.e. "you seem really eag...
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