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 Forum: Love and Dating   Topic: My relationship with an NT, is it doomed or should I try aga

Posted: 28 Jul 2012, 3:46 pm 

Replies: 22
Views: 2,738


Before I became AS aware I must of been a right idiot as I know I have been a right idiot since, I just can't seem to get so much right no matter how much I try. You're not an idiot. :( You're wired in such a way that some typical NT abilities are much harder for you, and most likely you have abili...

 Forum: Love and Dating   Topic: My relationship with an NT, is it doomed or should I try aga

Posted: 27 Jul 2012, 2:38 pm 

Replies: 22
Views: 2,738


Too much of an a***hole?? No, not at all. It sounds like you've been astonishingly forbearing. If she announces that she'd rather be with someone else, the end of your relationship is at her instigation, not yours. You don't have to fight against her stated wishes. I know us NTs have a reputation fo...

 Forum: Love and Dating   Topic: Nice Guys and Love, what's your take on the issue

Posted: 25 Jul 2012, 3:56 pm 

Replies: 1,242
Views: 162,774


HDM: whereas my experience says that the stupid but socially dominant guys have slightly more success than the clever, quiet guys, especially during their respective teens and early twenties, but very few people get left out in the cold just for being nice. There's something else going on, which mig...

 Forum: Love and Dating   Topic: Nice Guys and Love, what's your take on the issue

Posted: 25 Jul 2012, 1:30 pm 

Replies: 1,242
Views: 162,774


Except that plenty of nice, gentle, quiet guys are in relationships. My husband being one of them, and most of the other guys I've dated too. So if you're a shy, nice guy, you could either work on a complete personality transplant that may conceivably get you slightly more girls. Or you could work o...

 Forum: Love and Dating   Topic: Is never having kissed at 19 rare even for someone with AS?

Posted: 25 Jul 2012, 3:58 am 

Replies: 19
Views: 2,489


I'm an NT woman and didn't kiss anyone until I was 18 (imagine that - according to this forum I should have been beating them off with a stick from puberty onwards, since it's so easy for women and all). 19 is not all that old!

 Forum: Love and Dating   Topic: What's the creepiest thing a person has ever done to you?

Posted: 24 Jul 2012, 6:54 pm 

Replies: 59
Views: 6,283


[TROLL]It's only creepy if you're not attracted to their appearance.[/TROLL] OK, I did see the troll tags, but still... nope. It wouldn't be creepy for anyone to approach respectfully and say "Hey, I totally understand if you're not interested but I'll regret it if I don't even ask - would you like...

 Forum: Love and Dating   Topic: What's the creepiest thing a person has ever done to you?

Posted: 24 Jul 2012, 12:24 pm 

Replies: 59
Views: 6,283


In my first year of university, there was a guy I would always see in the computer room on campus (I was in there a lot and so was he). He was a lot older than me and was usually on his own. After a couple of weeks we started to recognise each other, nodding and smiling if we passed in the corridor,...

 Forum: Social Skills and Making Friends   Topic: Burning out people in conversations

Posted: 23 Jul 2012, 9:33 am 

Replies: 7
Views: 1,247


I feel that often times, she doesn't respond to a question but instead 'fuzzes around it', which brings me to continue asking it. She feels completely overwhelmed now, and I am frustrated because, apparently, it is normal to not answer a question with the supposed answer, and because this happens t...

 Forum: Love and Dating   Topic: Males: do you consider yourself physically attractive?

Posted: 23 Jul 2012, 6:05 am 

Replies: 281
Views: 34,594


DogsWithoutHorses wrote:
that is a nice looking man right there


Agreed!

 Forum: Love and Dating   Topic: Polygamy

Posted: 21 Jul 2012, 3:56 pm 

Replies: 33
Views: 4,274


Anyways, the reason I say it doesn't require EIQ or self-awareness or any of that - there's a solid sub-type of poly people who are autistic. We're poly because of not understanding people limiting themselves to one person if they are interested in more than one. We don't have nearly as strong of s...

 Forum: Love and Dating   Topic: Polygamy

Posted: 19 Jul 2012, 4:41 pm 

Replies: 33
Views: 4,274


(NT woman here, not sure whether husband is strictly NT, but if not then his traits are pretty mild.) I've been in a couple of multi-way configurations, but only fairly casually. When I got together with my now-husband I didn't want to be exclusive, though I was up for the idea of getting serious an...

 Forum: Social Skills and Making Friends   Topic: New Friend - Conversation Ideas Please?

Posted: 19 Jul 2012, 3:28 pm 

Replies: 5
Views: 1,164


I actually think "ah, men suck" is fine in this context - as a standalone statement it will be understood as slightly flippant, rather than a literal statement that all men really are lousy. If it was followed by a serious, impassioned rant about how horrible men are, then it might be inappropriate....

 Forum: Love and Dating   Topic: what does it mean to be aloof?

Posted: 19 Jul 2012, 2:32 pm 

Replies: 23
Views: 7,795


Hmm. I could see why the person whose affection you'd rejected might describe you as aloof, though it seems like a very specific kind of aloofness - and there are all kinds of things that could underpin the behaviour. Again, I think it might depend on whether part of you wanted the affection but fel...

 Forum: Love and Dating   Topic: what does it mean to be aloof?

Posted: 19 Jul 2012, 1:39 pm 

Replies: 23
Views: 7,795


Right, I get it now - apologies for the misunderstanding. I imagine that aloofness would feel like disinterest in other people, lack of desire to engage with them or find out more about them, maybe even feeling dislike for people in general. If that was genuinely how you felt, and you didn't feel a ...

 Forum: Love and Dating   Topic: what does it mean to be aloof?

Posted: 19 Jul 2012, 1:28 pm 

Replies: 23
Views: 7,795


(Or have I misread, and you're asking how the aloof person themselves could tell they were really aloof rather than just seeming aloof to others?)

 Forum: Love and Dating   Topic: what does it mean to be aloof?

Posted: 19 Jul 2012, 1:27 pm 

Replies: 23
Views: 7,795


Well, mostly by continuing to interact and seeing whether the person ever relaxed, warmed up socially or showed an interest in those around them. Someone might seem aloof as a first impression, but then become more friendly and I would realise that they just needed some time to relax into the social...
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