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 Forum: Love and Dating   Topic: What Am I Even Supposed To Do To?

Posted: 20 Dec 2022, 8:09 am 

Replies: 66
Views: 2,380


There’s only one solution: chuck the regret, and live your life. Become a better person through education, and a reliance on virtue. Find pleasure in things like going bowling or watching YouTube videos. Really….can’t think of anything else. All these BS statistics and ideologies certainly don’t he...

 Forum: Love and Dating   Topic: What Am I Even Supposed To Do To?

Posted: 20 Dec 2022, 7:37 am 

Replies: 66
Views: 2,380


I feel like I'm just screwed. Destined to suffer with this overwhelming desire for romance and intimacy that I lack the means to fulfill. Falling deeper and deeper into this pit of despair, my self-esteem and confidence continuing to waste away to nothing. I don’t understand why it has to be so hard...

 Forum: Love and Dating   Topic: Where do you struggle with dating?

Posted: 11 Dec 2022, 6:18 am 

Replies: 16
Views: 1,453


Finding someone to date

 Forum: The Haven   Topic: Depression

 Post subject: Depression
Posted: 11 Dec 2022, 4:28 am 

Replies: 3
Views: 171


I'm not interested in the prospect of existence if I am to continue to be plagued by what I'm plagued with now. The friction between my desire to have a girlfriend, be accepted as a romantic partner and experience intimacy, and the apparent lack of prospects, opportunities and indications that I wil...

 Forum: Love and Dating   Topic: How Do I Not Feel Undesirable?

Posted: 30 Nov 2022, 8:00 am 

Replies: 34
Views: 1,829


It's really sad that it's come to this, and yeah, makes me wish I wasn't alive. When I was younger, I wanted to have my first sexual experience with a similarly inexperienced partner and explore that uncharted territory with them. Now, not only is that almost certainly off the table, but the only wa...

 Forum: Love and Dating   Topic: I dont know what to do

 Post subject: Re: I dont know what to do
Posted: 27 Oct 2022, 10:51 pm 

Replies: 4
Views: 574


You can't be just friends with someone who is intensely interested in you romantically.

I'd advis telling him you can't be around him if he can't respect that you're not interested in him romantically, and if he doesn't change his behaviour, cut him off.

 Forum: Love and Dating   Topic: A life lesson for the active guys here: never chase.

Posted: 24 Oct 2022, 5:25 am 

Replies: 77
Views: 6,913


I would say anyone who fails to show interest will likely remain single (regardless of gender or sexuality). Yeah, absolutely, but I meant being the first to show interest. Maybe my perception has just been warped by having no one ever show an interest in dating me, but don't women tend to get appr...

 Forum: The Haven   Topic: Why Shouldn't I Just Kill Myself?

Posted: 24 Oct 2022, 4:54 am 

Replies: 135
Views: 3,353


The situation I'm in inflicts intense emotional distress and existential angst on me. The most important thing right now is to fill the gaping romantic void in my life with some kind of connection that makes me feel validated and accepted as a heterosexual man. To the extent that I'm able to achieve...

 Forum: Love and Dating   Topic: A life lesson for the active guys here: never chase.

Posted: 23 Oct 2022, 4:16 am 

Replies: 77
Views: 6,913


I don’t think it's generally a good idea to come on strong with indicating interest towards someone who hasn't indicated any interest towards you. Conversely, I don't think we should always just wait until someone shows us interest before we do anything either. I think at first, it's better to try t...

 Forum: Love and Dating   Topic: why are most posts here by heterosexual men?

Posted: 23 Oct 2022, 4:06 am 

Replies: 37
Views: 1,464


There are a lot of heterosexual autistic guys who can't get a girlfriend and who have very little or no dating experience well into adulthood. Naturally we all flock to this section to espouse our grievances.

 Forum: The Haven   Topic: Why Shouldn't I Just Kill Myself?

Posted: 14 Oct 2022, 2:14 am 

Replies: 135
Views: 3,353


Like most people, sounds like you need focused practice at being Present vs. allowing intrusive thoughts to steal your present moment and waste your time dwelling on thoughts that don't serve you in the moment. I need to practice this a lot more, too. Here's a bit of an extended version of the Goal...

 Forum: The Haven   Topic: Why Shouldn't I Just Kill Myself?

Posted: 13 Oct 2022, 11:31 am 

Replies: 135
Views: 3,353


So train your mind to focus on something different that you Think you Can achieve. Career, education, art, engineering - whatever. Do a thing with your mental energy instead of destroying yourself & you'll be happier for it. (And then who knows, perhaps being happier ends up resolving your lack...

 Forum: The Haven   Topic: Why Shouldn't I Just Kill Myself?

Posted: 13 Oct 2022, 10:05 am 

Replies: 135
Views: 3,353


I'd say it's both. (mindset influencing behaviour + cosmic forces) Just because it isn't that simple doesn't mean it cannot or will not happen. Take a look at my posting history for the last ~decade. I firmly believed that I should not/could not be in a relationship. But now, as strange a dynamic a...

 Forum: Love and Dating   Topic: The Three Tiers Of Dating Market Value

Posted: 13 Oct 2022, 9:57 am 

Replies: 105
Views: 4,763


In the case for bottom tier autistic men, they basically have four options. Option 1. Continue to chase hot girls out of your league for years and years, and maybe one will eventually say yes. Option 2: Accept the fact you don’t have much to offer and lower your standards to realistic levels and da...

 Forum: The Haven   Topic: Why Shouldn't I Just Kill Myself?

Posted: 12 Oct 2022, 12:29 am 

Replies: 135
Views: 3,353


Uhmm… thinking on this it seemed to occur to me to remind you , We are all Aspies here I believe , and these issues Are very very common amongst Aspies and Romantic interfaces ……. And being a common issue might not be advantageous to make yourself extinct. You may only serve to take one more player...

 Forum: The Haven   Topic: Why Shouldn't I Just Kill Myself?

Posted: 11 Oct 2022, 6:21 pm 

Replies: 135
Views: 3,353


I get what you're saying, but when you've never had a relationship despite wanting one for a long time, it's hard not to feel unwanted, and those feelings of inadequacy have the potential to be stoked every time I find myself exposed to a couple. It's not a good way to be. I know this feeling, and ...
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