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eric_newbie
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Joined: 24 Jun 2022
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Location: Calgary, Alberta

24 Jun 2022, 11:38 am

This is my second go-around on Wrong Planet. I'm not sure if my lurking on the forums and occasionally posting is healthy for me or not, to be honest.

I'm pushing 50. I make the joke (a bad one, I know) that the only kids who were diagnosed with anything in the 1980s were the ones killing cats in their backyards. There just wasn't much in the way of helps or understanding about the kids who were struggling or not fitting in. They were just "odd" or "weird," and it was left at that.

I have much to be thankful for when I look back at my childhood. Loving parents. No divorce. No poverty. I need to keep that in perspective. However, I had a tough childhood. I didn't have many friends, and went long stretches without any friends at all. I didn't know how to relate to kids. I'd stand on the playground and all the other kids seemed to instinctively know what they were supposed to do, or how they were able to relate to one another. No me. By the time I was in junior high, the bullying began, and it went on for years. Again, there wasn't much in the way of helps for kids being bullied when I was going through it. The bullying shaped me into a pretty angry young man who was looking for acceptance and some feeling of power (of being the bully I suppose). The gang that I landed up in didn't care if I was "odd" or "weird," although they did think those things, and they gave me what I was craving. Thankfully, my soap opera didn't end with me dead or in prison or just ruined for life. I got out and now live a somewhat normal life.

I had insomnia for year, before being diagnosed with anxiety. I've been on medication for anxiety for years, and it helps. Asperger's/Autism was never part of the discussion when I finally went for help. I don't know if I am on the spectrum. The stories I've heard of people growing up on the mild end of the spectrum sound awfully familiar. The puzzle pieces would fall into place, I suppose. On the other hand, I've never stimmed, and although I was really awkward in social situations, I don't remember eye contact being an issue. Maybe that's just me over-simplifying or my ignorance of Autism showing. I do get obsessive over silly things. Recently it's been moving overseas. I'm not going to, but I'll fixate on, say, the Cayman Islands. I know all about their schools, and real estate, and immigration laws. Why can't I fixate on useful things?

The other question that I struggle with is the "so what?" I've learnt how to interact with people for the most part. It's exhausting, but I can manage to make small talk, and I'm capable of giving a presentation and looking "normal," even if I still feel like that kid on the playground not knowing what I'm supposed to do or say sometimes. I'm married with kids, I have a technical job that allows me, for the most part, to work independently, I'm relatively happy. If I've coped this far, how would knowing that I'm on the spectrum help?

In any case, I'm rambling. That's me.



jimmy m
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25 Jun 2022, 7:39 am

Welcome back to Wrong Planet. Finding more about the traits of Aspies may help to answer questions in your life. I didn't know anything about Asperger's until a few years ago. I am now 73 years old and suffered a severe stroke a year ago. But exploring this world does answer a lot of questions about my exceptional life. It seems that one of my qualities is that I never stop learning. Most people stop evolving about the time they reach the end of high school, but for me it goes on and on and on. One of the interesting things about humans is that we have two separate brains, one on our left side of the skull and the other on the right side. The left side is dominant for most people. But I suffered a massive brain injury at around the age of 3 and I suspect that my right side came back to life after the injury. So in my case this would account for me being a little weird. The two brains do not completely join together in humans until around the age of 12. So this would account for my oddity.


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eric_newbie
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25 Jun 2022, 4:45 pm

Thanks for the welcome jimmy m.

Our brains are odd and complex organs. I know a fellow who fell off a roof, while working, and landed on his head. He had to have extensive brain surgery. He did recover, but afterwards he wasn't exactly the same person. The most obvious change, was that he was now artistic. While he couldn't draw a stick man prior to his accident and surgery, he suddenly had a desire to draw, paint, and carve. That's what he does for a living now. From stick men to art exhibitions. I'm sure there's more that we don't know about the human brain than what we do know.



Double Retired
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25 Jun 2022, 5:03 pm

Welcome to WP! It sounds like a good place for you.

It sounds like the bullies took longer to find you than the took to find me. Perhaps you are better at acting "normal".

Eye contact? I dunno, when I was young I guess my parents noticed that I wasn't making eye contact. They told me it was polite to look at people when I was talking to them so I did...but no one said anything about I was supposed to look them in the eyes. I wouldn't have known what other people's eyes were doing because I wasn't looking at their eyes.


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temp1234
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26 Jun 2022, 6:12 am

Welcome! I hope you find WP useful!



jimmy m
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27 Jun 2022, 7:50 am

eric_newbie wrote:
Our brains are odd and complex organs. I know a fellow who fell off a roof, while working, and landed on his head. He had to have extensive brain surgery. He did recover, but afterwards he wasn't exactly the same person. The most obvious change, was that he was now artistic. While he couldn't draw a stick man prior to his accident and surgery, he suddenly had a desire to draw, paint, and carve. That's what he does for a living now. From stick men to art exhibitions. I'm sure there's more that we don't know about the human brain than what we do know.


I came across some interesting reading after I suffered a severe stroke a year ago. One of the books was called, Whole Brain Living by Jill Bolte Taylor. She suffered a massive stroke at around the age of 35. It almost ended her. But after extensive surgery she came back. Before the stroke, she was a medical doctor working at a top notch medical school. After the stroke she came back as a totally different person. I would describe her as a NEW AGE WOMAN. She went from her left brain person to a right brain person. It is a very interesting read. She describes HUMANS as having four separate identities (two from the left side of the brain and two from the right). I would say that at least 60 percent of what she wrote is right on target. The reasons why humans are so complex is that we have multiple people inside us.


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Jakki
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27 Jun 2022, 8:05 am

Welcome Eric-newbie, hope your find your visits here , a good experience for you .


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AnonymousAnonymous
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27 Jun 2022, 7:12 pm

Welcome back to Wrong Planet! :)


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