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DesertWoman
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

Joined: 13 Sep 2020
Gender: Female
Posts: 136
Location: Las Vegas, NV

16 May 2021, 11:48 pm

All my life...sabotage.

Over and over and over and over.

I feel like I have nothing.

For one year, I finally knew what it felt like to be everything I wanted to be. And enough people know now about what happened and how I feel about things. i was a full-time teacher in a public school. Two of them, actually. I wasn't famous or anything, I was just an adult who was living independently. I was working. I was productive. Many years before, I disclosed my autism in the public schools and was met with no support. So, I stopped telling people about it. But it never went away, and before I knew it, the people I thought had my back got rid of me. Even my "friends" couldn't handle me teaching online. It's like no one wanted me to be happy.

I'll never go home again, and where I've lived for the past 20 years hasn't been too welcoming, either.

People can be so mean and deceitful. They'll find any weakness you have and just suck the life right out of you.
It's so true: you'll get what you want after everyone else gets what they want.

I used to come home and grade papers. Plan for the following week. I participated in school programs. I was an active, conscientious professional. I listened to my colleagues. They listened to me. it was everything I'd ever hoped and wished for. I earned the right to be a teacher.

I get teased all the time. Prior to my "year of actual living" I was either unemployed or underemployed.

I can't believe how awful some people can be. Just downright selfish with no business judging me.

I'm a human being. Not some thing that people can just pick up and throw down when they're bored.



Oculus
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

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Joined: 15 Jan 2010
Age: 51
Gender: Male
Posts: 81
Location: california

09 Jun 2021, 11:54 am

The year you spent as a teacher shows you can live your best life doing something you enjoy and take pride in. Because you have done that, you have every reason to believe you can do it again.

People suck, and we always have to be on our guard against people tearing down what we have accomplished. It's just the way life is. Sometimes sabotage can be avoided, sometimes we just have to be resilient in the face of it, and get used to picking up the pieces and putting them back together.



DesertWoman
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

Joined: 13 Sep 2020
Gender: Female
Posts: 136
Location: Las Vegas, NV

01 May 2022, 3:30 am

Very true. Thank you for that response.



blazingstar
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Joined: 19 Nov 2017
Age: 68
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,746

01 May 2022, 4:29 am

That sounds awful. That’s why I don’t disclose.

I heard on the news recently that some places are so short of teachers they are hiring even uncertified people - give them a crash course of a couple weeks and throw them in the classroom.

Can you move? Might be worth it to travel to one of those areas.

I just googled states with teacher shortages and got a list. What relative success I’ve had in life came from getting up and doing it again.


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Mona Pereth
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Joined: 11 Sep 2018
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,629
Location: New York City (Queens)

02 May 2022, 12:17 pm

I'm very sorry to hear what has happened to you.

Anyhow, you might be interested to see this tweet about the new book Learning From Autistic Teachers, based on a U.K.-based research project about autistic teachers and other school staff.


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Anomaly_76
Blue Jay
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Joined: 25 Apr 2022
Age: 46
Gender: Male
Posts: 91
Location: Virginia, USA

03 May 2022, 10:52 pm

I feel OP's pain. This is a bit of a read, but well worth its weight in gold in going to show just how ruthless, cruel and ridiculous NTs can be towards us. It really can be an 'us versus them' situation at times.

One job I was at went one step beyond merely getting rid of me and actually stooped so low as to use my knowledge of certain things, good nature, and willingness to help against me to try to make me quit under threat of serious legal consequences. This wasn't even a disclosure thing, I wouldn't be diagnosed for another 26 years.

I did food delivery at a chain pizzeria, and have struggled with certain traits common to autism (hygiene unaware, etc.), all my life. I know that sounds disgusting to some, but it is a thing that some of us struggle with far more than others.

Anyway, management wanted to get rid of me, but really couldn't because we were short-staffed and I was the only one that would show up sometimes. So they decided to walk me into a stalking charge make it appear they had no choice.

Lo and behold, there's a girl with her car broken down just across the parking lot, and would I mind taking a look at it for her? This is one thing that really angers me about NTs, is their willingness to take advantage of our good nature to get rid of us when they don't want to deal with us. The engine wouldn't crank, sure enough, but in retrospect, I believe the car had been intentionally disabled with something simple but not obvious enough to find easily. Read on to find out why.

Of course, she was charming enough, so I thought about asking her out (she was wearing no ring -- I checked), but before I really had a chance to do much more than look her car over, her mother shows up (how convenient). When I decided there was nothing I could do to help without greasing up my uniform, I overheard the girl mention a shop she planned to use.

I decide to stop by the shop that was mentioned, and left a note on her car simply asking if she wanted to meet for coffee or something, with my number -- something I felt reasonable enough. The girl shows up before I left, seeming quite receptive to my request, and DRAWING ME A MAP TO SHOW WHERE SHE LIVED. I'm not the type to follow someone home without invitation, and this was somewhere I wasn't likely to discover in my normal travels.

That evening, I dropped by thinking we'd go somewhere to chat, and her folks invite me in for dinner with them. The next day, my manager is threatening to fire me because the girl is engaged and says I'm stalking her. WITH A MAP SHE DREW TO SHOW WHERE SHE LIVED... Really?

I promptly went out to my car and retrieved the map, showing it to the manager. I then very curtly explained that I could see I'd been set up, that I suspected store management was involved, and that I would be suing everyone involved if it wasn't dropped. Of course, I never heard another word.

For all I know, that car was probably driven to that shop after I returned to work. But obviously someone was willing to go to some pretty ridiculous extremes to get rid of me. Seems pretty convenient that this girl shows up right as I'm leaving from putting a note on her car, like they were watching and waiting. For all I know, that car was probably driven to that shop after I returned to work.

I'm not saying that I was perfect, it seems my issues with consistently attending to hygiene were a factor. But to set someone up for jail time just because you have an issue with them? I certainly feel OP's pain and can attest to how disheartening being sold out by coworkers can be, I know the experience all too well.

This wasn't the first time, either, just the first time it went to such an extreme. The first time, a coworker rang me up for merchandise and intentionally did it wrong, setting me up to get fired under fabricated theft accusations. As it happened, karma saw me deliver food to them several years later. I saw to it their next order was not a pleasant experience.

As an aside, years later I would come close to getting arrested because a drunk female in my taxi cried wolf that I was molesting her after I politely refused her drunken advances and did my best to see her safely home. I've never harmed anyone, much less a female. That's not who I am. I've actually kept some people from harm and even saved some lives in my time.

But as it happens in today's topsy-turvy world where "the truth is what I SAY it is!", whether a female isn't interested in a male that shows interest, or gets rejected by a male that they show interest in, it's simply not enough to leave the guy be. No, they must be shamed, branded a creep, or even falsely accused. And it's not just me, this happens more often than most would admit.

I now have a two-channel dash cam with audio in my car, and it does not get turned off for anything. You should hear the crying from the armchair lawyers who claim I'm violating their rights. My car is my property, and I have the right to surveil my property. If you have nothing to hide, why are you worried? :?

And people wonder why I have trust issues... I rarely approach anyone anymore, if ever, and will likely never make romantic interest in a female known again without some sort of indication of mutuality. Not that I'm all that good at reading people (see what I did there?).

Don't misconstrue this as bagging on the ladies, it's just another example of how crummy NTs really can be to NDs (not to mention how contributory such tactics can be in pushing NDs into isolation). However, this is the reality for some of us, probably more than most would admit. There's the #metoo movement, but there's also the #falselyaccused movement. But I digress.

OP, I absolutely feel your pain. And not all people suck, but unfortunately most NTs do when it comes to understanding NDs and interacting with them accordingly.


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I don't know how to act my age, I've never been this old before. Which begs the question....
Since ASD means various parts of the brain stop developing at various ages...
Just how the hell am I supposed to know WHICH age to act, anyway? :lol: