Is it reasonable to not be allowed to drink milk...

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Joe90
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27 May 2022, 11:20 am

...at work if I'm not a tea or coffee drinker?

At my previous job I got scolded for having a small glass of milk because it was for tea and coffee only (it was a hot day and I was incredibly thirsty and had already drank the juice I had brought in myself, and there wasn't any access to clean tap water only in the kitchens but I didn't have time to go in there).

I thought it was just them being petty, but then I got told off for the same thing at my current job too, and I don't think it's fair. I'm not saying I want to drink large amounts of milk so that there's none left for everyone else, but tea and coffee drinkers have one after another and nobody says anything but because I don't drink tea or coffee I'm forbidden to have any milk.

I told a couple of my co-workers about it and they were on my side. They said that I work there as well and that I shouldn't be told off for having a glass of milk now and again if I'm thirsty and fancy some milk (I don't really like water).

Is it reasonable to disallow me from having any milk? It makes me feel that I'm less valid just because I don't drink hot drinks. Not everyone does drink hot drinks and I do generally being in my own drink but sometimes I just fancy a fresh glass of milk. We have juice there (which I use) but I wouldn't tell other people not to drink it if they're tea and coffee drinkers, if they fancy some juice for a change.


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kraftiekortie
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27 May 2022, 11:23 am

I would just bring my own milk.



shortfatbalduglyman
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27 May 2022, 11:46 am

Your post makes it sound like someone was watching you drink the milk.

If they posted a sign "milk for coffee and tea only, not for drinking per se", then it is fair.

If no sign, I see it as my only unfair but micromanagement

How do they enforce that law?

The issue could be that you took too much milk

Your post makes me wonder how stable your job is. Is someone keeping tabs on you and lurking and trying to catch you doing something wrong and trying to get you made redundant?

I think it is not reasonable to not be allowed to drink milk, but it is not illegal for them to tell you that

They got their priorities more mixed up than scrambled eggs, but I don't think this is about milk. They have underlying issues



Some people don't drink tea or coffee for medical reasons

Did someone take disciplinary action against you for drinking milk?



If you want milk, you could bring your own. Maybe put your name on it



Joe90
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27 May 2022, 12:10 pm

I don't often drink milk enough to bring in my own, it's just the occasional time when I've run out of my own drink but don't fancy water I might just help myself to some milk, which is owned by nobody in particular.


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Suzyb
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28 May 2022, 2:25 pm

Oh! this is an interesting question. I have been on both sides of this debate.

No, it is no unreasonable however, tea/coffee at the end of the day is an important aspect of a human's ability to function in life (particularly at work). There are many times I have opened the fridge to make a cup of tea/coffee to find someone has finished the milk and that then requires a trip to the shop before I can carry on my duties. It is enough to unleash a barage of abuse and someone will take offense just as I used to when I had been the one who drank a lot of the milk. Even if you did not finish the milk that time, there is a threat you may do so at some point.

I think there is no winning against the tea/coffee brigade. In life, it is sometimes a case of "pick your battles" and this is one I wouldn't choose to be in. So my advice is adopt the kraftie approach and every now and again take in a pint, announce you have done so and that it is there for all to use. Just make sure you have some first or you will get annoyed at yourself and that defeats the purpose.

You will see a different attitude from those around you and people will also defend you the next time you decide to have a drink of milk. This is one stress in life you could do without.



hurtloam
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28 May 2022, 2:46 pm

Who buys the milk?

We used to get milk in an office I worked at and the company bought it. One of the guys used the milk for cereal every morning. When he took a week holiday there was more milk than the rest of us could drink. No one complained.

If it's bought by the company for all the employees I don't see why you can't have a small glass of milk when this guy could have oodles of cereal bowls full.



Joe90
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28 May 2022, 2:54 pm

The people at work drink tea and coffee all day, cups and cups of it (probably drink more than they do work).

The milk is provided for us by order, along with different work supplies for all employees.

But I just don't think it's fair if the rule is "everybody's free to help themselves except for Joe90 who should bring in her own milk because she doesn't drink tea or coffee". I think having a glass of milk is as needed as the others having tea and coffee. Milk is delicious and I shouldn't be prohibited from having some now and again. I'd understand if I hogged the milk for myself and drank half the bottle in a day, but I don't.

I'm not turning it into a big battle, I just wondered what others here think. Sometimes I feel singled out for trivial reasons, like I'm not important.


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hurtloam
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28 May 2022, 3:48 pm

I totally agree with you. Milk is delivered for the employees. Your glass of milk is probably less milk than one person drinks in their tea in a week.



Joe90
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28 May 2022, 5:46 pm

hurtloam wrote:
I totally agree with you. Milk is delivered for the employees. Your glass of milk is probably less milk than one person drinks in their tea in a week.


That's what two of my friends at work said.


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kraftiekortie
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28 May 2022, 6:29 pm

Are there many of those 250ml cartons of milk in your supermarket? If so, I would get some of those, put them in your fridge with your name on it, and drink when ready.

There are people who are stupidly fussy about milk when it’s not used for coffee…..



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29 May 2022, 12:34 am

As mentioned above this is a battle that is unwinnable.

Krafties approach of bringing and labeling milk is probably the most stress free way through it. Just don't be surprised if someone uses your milk when you aren't watching if the other milk runs out.


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29 May 2022, 8:37 am

I don't understand why drinking milk is an issue.

I don't know how things work on your place, but in my country the rule is, basically, drink whatever you want that doesn't have alcohol in it.

I could drink toothpaste milkshake and no one would bat an eye, because that isn't the company's business. It is their business if that drink has an effect on my productivity or performance, otherwise, we are good.


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30 May 2022, 4:44 am

I've had the exact oposite experience.
I drink at least half a litre of milk with my lunch, so I tend to bring my own, I am also a bit picky with what kind of milk to drink.
But I've been told several times that I should just have some of the milk supplied by the workplace.

FWIW, I think you're in the right, but I agree with others that it's best to chose your battles.

/Mats


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01 Jun 2022, 5:12 am

Here's my reading of this situation: you broke an unwritten social rule.

The milk you drank is meant to be a condiment, like sugar, for the existing coffee and tea served. That is, something you add in small amounts to the coffee and tea (which are mostly hot water to begin with). It's not meant as a drink in its own right; otherwise, if everyone does it, the milk will run out too quickly.

For an equivalent example, think of ketchup, mustard, and mayonnaise. Let's say a company provided them for the sandwiches it served. But someone decided to pour a large amount of these condiments, like 8 oz (200 mL), into the food they brought, like an unfinished potato salad. By using such a large amount all at once, that person put other employees at risk of not having any, as it takes at least a day to resupply what got used up.

The other posters are right. Don't fight it. Just bring your own small cartons of milk.



Joe90
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01 Jun 2022, 1:53 pm

I knew that, but on the other hand I work there just like everyone else and I'm the only one who doesn't drink tea or coffee, and I don't drink much milk. I don't want to bring in my own milk because it would be ironic if I drank "their" milk but they're forbidden to drink my milk and if they ran out of milk they'll probably want my milk out of desperation.

The milk is there for all of us. Nobody owns the milk. It has nobody's name on it. Not everyone likes tea or coffee.

I'm not going to make a big deal about at work it just because I wrote a thread about it here. I'm not going to "fight" about it. I just wanted to see what other people's thoughts were, that's all.

It's like the rule is "the milk is here for anybody, except for Joe90 because she doesn't drink tea or coffee so she can't have it". Milk can be a substantial drink as well as an ingredient. It's not like tomato ketchup where it's pretty pointless to just have on it's own as a snack.


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Lunella
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01 Jun 2022, 2:00 pm

This is one of those hidden language things where there are unspoken rules that autists just do not understand.

Basically the rule is that it's only for tea and coffee and everyone is supposed to just go along with this because most likely they are putting their own money in for it - unless you work in a fancy office where they let you use milk for cereal but if it's a small office then typically the unspoken rule applies. Imagine a sign being on it saying only for tea and coffee but only NTs are able to see the sign.

If you drink a lot of it in a glass where the unspoken milk rule applies it's a quick way to find enemies, unfortunately.

If I was you I wouldn't try to fight this as people will think you are either spoilt or there's something wrong with you mentally so just leave it and bring your own in to be on the safe side as unfair as it is that's just the rule they've implied without actually saying it.


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