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Sandyskys
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Joined: 24 Oct 2021
Age: 65
Gender: Female
Posts: 2
Location: US. Live next to the ocean

24 Oct 2021, 2:38 pm

Hi! I'm Sandyskys. Have follower Wrong Planet since it beginnings. Very grateful for all the informations exchanged here which certainly has been useful over the years. My son is now 28 years old, is self employed as a photojournalist working about 20 hours weekly, co-host of a radio weekly radio show, has a girlfriend and drives. Over the past few months I notices he is having increasing problems remaining focused on task at hand, easily distracted, requiring longer work times to complete articles. Seems to also be experiencing stresses of dealing with adult emotions. Thankful he comes to me to talk about the above. Seeking counseling from experienced support in autism which basically nonexistent within miles of home (long wait lists, doesn't accept insurance, too expensive or not taking new patients). Only very short term "crisis" type help available. Looking for any help with recommendations: Books, videos, possible contacts, etc. Grateful for any input. Thank you.



Mountain Goat
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24 Oct 2021, 3:48 pm

If burnout is what I have been through I have hit it several times and I have quit jobs, sold my house to break evenso I did not have bills to worry about, sold classic car and camper for low monwy just so I had less things to look after...

I would go to extremes to rid myself of anything that would put me under pressure. I went for a year off here and there from working to recover so I had no income other than to sell personal posessions etc.

For me it could habe been breakdown or burnout. I don't know. All I know is each time I tried to get another job I would repeat this cycle, and the burnout hit harder each time... And the times where I did work, the hours I was able to cope with became less and less until at one time it was actually costing me more to work due to travelling, then the pay I was getting.

Prior to hitting the first burnout (Though I once came close in the past), I had worked my way up to have a rather good job. I was doing well before in and around 2007 I hit burnout, though I did find every two years I would have to leave jobs due to the masking breaking down. That is a key feature before burnout takes place along with lack of sleeping etc.

Because I have not been assessed yet by the autism team, I can't say if it is burnout or breakdown that I experienced, so bear this in mind.



timf
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25 Oct 2021, 7:03 am

You might want to help him to evaluate his own life. If he can appreciate that things seem to be starting to slip, he might be able to identify a cause. For example, if there is something new in his life, the extra stress might be too much for him. He will have to learn either how to deal with stress better or to remove an item or two from his "plate" so that life can be more manageable.



DW_a_mom
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29 Oct 2021, 11:11 pm

These are issues he may battle his entire adult life, if my own experience is any indication. I see similar in my now adult children. Depression could be involved, ADHD ... hard to say. It seems to me to be more spectrum adjacent than a clear symptom of ASD. Regardless, I've found I need to change things up constantly, as well keep my workload on the low side, in order to stay on course. I can't just do and repeat for year after year after year. The joy and the challenge goes out of it, and I can't stay focused without those hooks.

There are many different ways to change things up. Get a different job, adjust work day habits, add new exercise routines, etc. The goal is to find a spark that can feed the soul, give new energy.

For years switching jobs was how I kept up the spark (it also built up my prestige in my field). Unfortunately, as I near retirement, I've had reason to stay settled in one job. It's been difficult. I max out after 5-7 years. So I've tried changing up routines, work locations, and exercise, but they all have their downsides, as well. It's a constant process.


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Mom to an amazing young adult AS son, plus an also amazing non-AS daughter. Most likely part of the "Broader Autism Phenotype" (some traits).