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momofmax
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26 May 2016, 7:55 pm

Can anyone else relate to this? I feel all alone. My son has been getting very mad over pretty small things. If I ask him to do his homework, that will set him off. If I tell him it's bedtime, tell him it's time to get off of his ipad, etc. These are things that he gets very angry over. If anyone has experience with this, please let me know.

OR....if you have autism I'd love to hear your perspective! Were you like this? What helped, or what would have helped?


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mikeman7918
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26 May 2016, 8:57 pm

There was a time when I was a bit like that. I would get angry at my mom often for rather small things, and normally it's quite hard to get me angry. At the time I was under a lot of stress between my parent's divorce, moving, drivers ed, school, a harsh winter, and having no friends. I started to burn out to the point where doing just about everything became harder, and that just made it worse. It stopped when I got out of drivers ed and moved to my Dad's house in a warmer location.


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B19
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26 May 2016, 9:11 pm

There is a website called "The Little Black Duck" with some wonderful posters which depict factors relating to various challenges autistic children have, and as well as being artistically attractive, they contain a lot of information which becomes instantly accessible. One of them is relevant to your situation, so maybe have a look at it.



Dannyboy271
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26 May 2016, 9:41 pm

Hahaha, ohhhh. Yeah. I did that when I was a kid. From what you're describing, it sounds like he, like me and many other aspies, could have a VERY difficult time transitioning from one activity from the next.
I would get REALLY into something, then my Mom would try to get me to change activity, I would throw a massive fit, eventually change activities, then get REALLY into whatever I transitioned into, then my Mom would try to get me to transition again, and I would throw another fit.
I just didn't want to stop doing whatever I was doing. I was SUPER into my own little world, and I didn't like it when people barged in and tried changing stuff. (I mean people have to. I needed to be live like a regular human being.)

This is just from speculation. It might be something else entirely, but if this IS the issue, then try to partition his time and give him plenty of forenotice before having him do something else so he can finish up his thoughts, making sure to have a clear time specified as to WHEN the transition will happen. If the problem IS transitions, then giving him a heads up, and a clear time he knows when a transition will occur before it happens, then it should calm him down being able to wrap up his thoughts or activities before the change happens.

If it's not just transitions, then I dunno. :/ But I would give it a try. This situation sounds a lot like how I used to behave as a kid.



zette
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28 May 2016, 2:11 am

Check out the book "The Explosive Child", and the free videos on the author's website, http://www.livesinthebalance.org/walking-tour-parents He's got a really good method for figuring out what underlying problems are setting off that anger, and working together with your child to find solutions to prevent those situations.



momofmax
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28 May 2016, 8:39 pm

Thank you for the replies. I'll definitely check out those websites and that book. I have heard of the Explosive Child. I might be ordering that later tonight on Amazon. I do think his anger stems from transitions, like Danny said. I think I may have to get a timer and let him know exactly how long he has for each thing. He gets so into whatever he's doing. Especially if it's the Ipad or TV. I try to monitor those two things, specifically. We have limited the ipad to only over the weekends. He is allowed to watch TV all throughout the week though. Summer is coming quickly and I'd better order another timer. We had one that showed a countdown and that one was amazing. It broke.


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momofmax
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
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28 May 2016, 8:41 pm

One more thing I'd like to add. He usually feels terrible after getting really angry. He feels "like a bad kid." I always tell him that he's NOT a bad kid, just that we need to come up with a way for him to control his anger in a more productive way. I do feel bad for him because it is hard for him to control himself.


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OliveOilMom
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29 May 2016, 2:54 am

I was like that I have AS. My 21 yo son who i suspect has it but who is not interested in finding out is just like that. Dear God it's the end of the freaking world whenever I openmy mouth. he's going to get mad no matter what so I tell him exactly what I think about how he's acting then. If I try and walk on eggshells he's still going to get mad so I might as well say something about it to him. He's always been like this and I've only started saying something in the past few years. When he was younger I tried to help him calm down and talk about it like I did with my other kids but it never worked.

That drives me insane when he's like that. I love him but will be so glad when he's got enough put back to move back out. It was so peaceful here then lol


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momofmax
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
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29 May 2016, 7:08 pm

OliveOilMom-I have been walking around on eggshells and I'm trying not to, because it won't do him ANY favors in the long run. He needs to learn that he can't always get HIS way and do what HE wants when he wants. Ugh...it's so hard because I know he will freak out over many things. I'm glad that I'm not alone. :wink: You have some insight into his behaviors that us, NT, mom's don't have. Hopefully that helps you some.


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Mother of a 7 year old Autistic boy, or Aspergers. Though I've been told that is an old term, now. Learning everyday how to parent better.


Momcares11
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30 May 2016, 5:14 pm

My son gets like this at times. He will punch and scratch and scream. I have noticed if we just ignore him when he does this, he will calm himself down. I also tell him that when he is ready to talk. He will scream "I don't need to or I don't care." Eventually he will come to me and talk.



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