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azealia84
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05 Oct 2021, 8:19 am

I'm writing an article for Autism Parenting Magazine and looking I'm looking to speak to autistic people who have been bullied, and parents of autistic children who have been bullied.

The article is designed to help other parents of autistic children who are being bullied, and it would be really helpful to get some real life examples of the kind of bullying autistic people face, and also any strategies that you have found helpful to cope with the situation.

I'm also looking to speak with experts on the subject.

Feel free to send me a private message if you prefer not to share publically.

I am autistic and passionate about improving the lives of autistic people, and want to reassure anyone that your information will be used in a positive way.
Here's a link to a recent article I wrote for the website https://www.autismparentingmagazine.com ... notherapy/ and also a link to my website - HTTP://www.lucinda-herbert.com



Ettina
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05 Oct 2021, 10:58 am

Not sure what can really be done. I think once a bullying pattern has been established, the likelihood of getting the bullying to stop without cutting contact between bully and victim is probably similar to the likelihood of getting domestic violence to stop without ending the relationship. The only really effective options are to switch school, homeschool, or convince the school to expel the bully.



DW_a_mom
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05 Oct 2021, 6:56 pm

We were able to pretty quickly stop elementary school bullying with my son because the school community had an overall atmosphere of accepting individual differences. This was a super diverse school in every way possible and parents had a choice on where to send their kids, so they were actively choosing the environment. Parents and teachers uniformly reinforced the message of accepting individual differences. One word of concern to a parent about how their child was treating yours would result in the parent talking to the child about acceptance, and the kids listened. The message was reinforced so much. Not to say it was one and done, but my son felt safe and knew both adults and fellow students would stick up for him. It also helped a lot that one popular student was a friend of his, and it was known at the school that they were friends. That the boys knew and liked each other was the gift of a carpool established way back in kindergarten.

Middle school was more difficult because (1) that is when boys jockey for future social position, and (2) various elementary schools with different community cultures merged together. The administration agreed to try to keep their eyes open more so they could catch anything that was happening "in the act" rather than having a tattle tell situation. With more adults in the vicinity of my son, the kids mostly stopped.

By high school my son had found "his people" and truly stopped caring what anyone else said or did, plus the other boys seemed to have outgrown their need to jockey for social position in any ways that involved my son. People seemed to know him as this smart/talented kid with some quirks and, I guess, the IQ & talent was a bit of an amour, as well. Plus he wasn't interested in their social groups, so maybe there just was no peer social message to send.

Bullying with boys tends to be fairly obvious and can be handled quietly by doing things like keeping more adults near. Bully with girls is often far too subtle for these techniques,


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Mom to an amazing young adult AS son, plus an also amazing non-AS daughter. Most likely part of the "Broader Autism Phenotype" (some traits).


SocOfAutism
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07 Oct 2021, 7:35 am

My 7 year old has pretty severe ADHD and is sometimes quite annoying to other children (and adults). He is popular sometimes too. It just depends.

Autistic children have gone out of their way many times to teach him social skills, shelter him from bullying, and make sure he is included in groups. He usually has trouble following what is going on in groups. There is usually an autistic friend next to him who has taken it upon himself to explain things to him. Sometimes an autistic child hurts his feelings with a thoughtless matter of fact remark. My child thinks the other one was "bullying". If the other kid is friends with him, I can step in and say to the other what my kid thinks and the kid will clarify. This resolves things.

Bullying is a huge issue for autistic people and 90% of the time they are the targets. Don't get me wrong. But I have seen autistic children as leaders in friendships with my son and they can have wonderful strength. So I wanted to mention that.