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Mikah
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19 Oct 2021, 4:18 am

https://babylonbee.com/news/hospital-fl ... hotel-room

Flamethrower Crew Arrives To Disinfect Bill Clinton’s Hospital Room

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IRVINE, CA—With former President Bill Clinton released from the hospital after a serious infection, hospital flamethrower crews have arrived on site to disinfect his hotel room.

"This is just our standard procedure whenever Bill Clinton visits a hospital, but we've never seen anything like this," said pyro-disinfection Team Leader Chet Cordray. "He had every infection in the book. Three of our staff got chlamydia just walking into the room."

"We have no choice but to torch the entire room before the deadly infections spread and threaten the rest of the world's populations."

As soon as he finished speaking, an oozing cluster of infection sprouted legs and screeched a hellish screech as it charged the team.

"KILL IT! KILL IT WITH FIRE!" cried Cordray as he engaged his flamethrower. "DIE, INFERNAL CREATURE!"

After a 30-minute sustained burn in the room, sources are reporting that the repulsive cocktail of infections has been contained—for now.

(UPDATE: Nevermind, they had to burn down the whole hospital.)


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As it will be in the future, it was at the birth of Man -
There are only four things certain since Social Progress began: -
That the Dog returns to his Vomit and the Sow returns to her Mire,
And the burnt Fool’s bandaged finger goes wabbling back to the Fire;

And that after this is accomplished, and the brave new world begins
When all men are paid for existing and no man must pay for his sins,
As surely as Water will wet us, as surely as Fire will burn,
The Gods of the Copybook Headings with terror and slaughter return!


Misslizard
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19 Oct 2021, 9:21 am

/\LOL


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Butterfly88
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19 Oct 2021, 3:16 pm

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Misslizard
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19 Oct 2021, 8:01 pm

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funeralxempire
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19 Oct 2021, 10:30 pm

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:chin:


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Misslizard
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20 Oct 2021, 11:13 am

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funeralxempire
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20 Oct 2021, 12:08 pm

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r/antiwork strikes again :lol:


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21 Oct 2021, 11:00 am

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Misslizard
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21 Oct 2021, 11:26 am

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21 Oct 2021, 12:07 pm

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Misslizard
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21 Oct 2021, 8:20 pm

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funeralxempire
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22 Oct 2021, 9:51 am

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22 Oct 2021, 9:55 am

Reaping What You Sow
by Headlines, 2021-10-15

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funeralxempire
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22 Oct 2021, 10:19 am

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22 Oct 2021, 6:14 pm

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23 Oct 2021, 12:19 am

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