Couple claim they were both ‘gay’ until they met each other

Page 1 of 2 [ 25 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

cyberdad
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Feb 2011
Age: 55
Gender: Male
Posts: 30,594

30 Nov 2022, 4:06 am

A couple have gone from dating members of the same sex to falling madly in love with one another in their “unusual heterosexual relationship.”
The formerly gay-only sweethearts – whose avant-garde amour has gone viral, fetching upwards of 30.5 million views on TikTok – say they “couldn’t be happier” together, the New York Post reported.
https://nypost.com/2022/11/29/we-were-g ... ove-story/

“It’s an unusual pairing, but we’re so happy,” Maren Butler, a self-proclaimed “masculine-presenting” 21-year-old woman said.

She exclusively dated women before encountering proudly ultra-feminine boyfriend James Carrington on social media.

Image

And all this time I thought this was impossible?



ASPartOfMe
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Aug 2013
Age: 65
Gender: Male
Posts: 30,440
Location: Long Island, New York

30 Nov 2022, 4:34 am

s**t happens.


_________________
Professionally Identified and joined WP August 26, 2013
DSM 5: Autism Spectrum Disorder, DSM IV: Aspergers Moderate Severity

“My autism is not a superpower. It also isn’t some kind of god-forsaken, endless fountain of suffering inflicted on my family. It’s just part of who I am as a person”. - Sara Luterman


magz
Forum Moderator
Forum Moderator

User avatar

Joined: 1 Jun 2017
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 15,659
Location: Poland

30 Nov 2022, 4:40 am

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kinsey_scale Sexual orientation is not a 0/1 thing. And there is such a thing as pansexualism.

I have a (romantic) couple of RL friends with a masculine woman and a feminine man, too. Why not? Whatever makes them happy.


_________________
Let's not confuse being normal with being mentally healthy.

<not moderating PPR stuff concerning East Europe>


naturalplastic
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Aug 2010
Age: 68
Gender: Male
Posts: 30,792
Location: temperate zone

30 Nov 2022, 4:53 am

Anatomically it makes more sense than a same sex union.

Because in the bedroom even gays need both ...a piston and cylinder...if you get my drift.

In same sex unions you only have two pistons, or two cylinders. What use is either of those?



usagibryan
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 13 Jul 2020
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 270
Location: Florida

30 Nov 2022, 11:34 am

I understand the dangers of conversion therapy and "pray the gay away" camps but I always thought it was silly how we insist people's sexual orientation can never change under any circumstances. Why not? Humans are complicated.

naturalplastic wrote:
Anatomically it makes more sense than a same sex union.

Because in the bedroom even gays need both ...a piston and cylinder...if you get my drift.

In same sex unions you only have two pistons, or two cylinders. What use is either of those?


I hate how much emphasis is placed on penetration as the only form of valid sex in our culture. Have you ever heard of sides?


_________________
"The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents. We live on a placid island of ignorance in the midst of black seas of infinity, and it was not meant that we should voyage far. The sciences, each straining in its own direction, have hitherto harmed us little; but some day the piecing together of dissociated knowledge will open up such terrifying vistas of reality, and of our frightful position therein, that we shall either go mad from the revelation or flee from the deadly light into the peace and safety of a new dark age"


kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,168
Location: Queens, NYC

30 Nov 2022, 1:26 pm

The reason “penetration” is emphasized is because it’s the only way people reproduce.

I have nothing against “alternative” ways of satisfaction.



magz
Forum Moderator
Forum Moderator

User avatar

Joined: 1 Jun 2017
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 15,659
Location: Poland

30 Nov 2022, 2:31 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
The reason “penetration” is emphasized is because it’s the only way people reproduce.
The only "natural" way.

But not all couples want to make children at all. But they still want to be together.


_________________
Let's not confuse being normal with being mentally healthy.

<not moderating PPR stuff concerning East Europe>


usagibryan
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 13 Jul 2020
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 270
Location: Florida

30 Nov 2022, 2:49 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
The reason “penetration” is emphasized is because it’s the only way people reproduce.

I have nothing against “alternative” ways of satisfaction.


There just seems to be this annoyingly pervasive attitude that if there's no penetration it's not "real sex." I get this comes from biological imperatives, so does the attitude that homosexuality isn't valid since gay couples can't naturally reproduce, doesn't make it less problematic.


_________________
"The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents. We live on a placid island of ignorance in the midst of black seas of infinity, and it was not meant that we should voyage far. The sciences, each straining in its own direction, have hitherto harmed us little; but some day the piecing together of dissociated knowledge will open up such terrifying vistas of reality, and of our frightful position therein, that we shall either go mad from the revelation or flee from the deadly light into the peace and safety of a new dark age"


Doberdoofus
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 31 Dec 2021
Age: 50
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 1,166
Location: Orbiting Wrong Planet

30 Nov 2022, 3:27 pm

naturalplastic wrote:
Anatomically it makes more sense than a same sex union.

Because in the bedroom even gays need both ...a piston and cylinder...if you get my drift.

In same sex unions you only have two pistons, or two cylinders. What use is either of those?



Depends on your definition of cylinder and if replacement pistons come with a strap.


_________________
I don't follow society's rules. But that doesn't mean there aren't rules I have to follow when the Dark Passenger calls.

Don't be so eager to be offended. The narcissism of small differences leads to the most boring kind of conformity.


cyberdad
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Feb 2011
Age: 55
Gender: Male
Posts: 30,594

30 Nov 2022, 3:38 pm

The reason I thought this was curious was because gay people claim that gay conversion therapy is not possible if you identify as gay you can't be changed to be attracted physically to the opposite sex,

Whereas quite clearly there is a spectrum of homosexual tendencies. I'm also wondering if the gay community would classify these two as bisexual?



kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,168
Location: Queens, NYC

30 Nov 2022, 3:53 pm

magz wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
The reason “penetration” is emphasized is because it’s the only way people reproduce.
The only "natural" way.

But not all couples want to make children at all. But they still want to be together.


Of course. I know quite a few people like the above. Including me, who doesn't have any kids.



Lost_dragon
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 May 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,190
Location: England

30 Nov 2022, 6:41 pm

Conversion Therapy is an ineffective practice which primarily focuses on shaming individuals. Some talk therapy methods attempt to 'reconnect a patient with their gender' or 'find the route cause'. It is built upon the belief that something went wrong and needs to be fixed. Aversion therapy attempts to create a negative association with same sex attraction. For example, telling the patient to physically self-harm whenever they have a gay thought. This is unethical as no psychiatrist should ever recommend self-harm under any circumstances.

Homosexuality is not a phobia. Nor is it a learnt trauma response. When therapy tries to treat it as such, it is ineffective. It is not something you can unlearn. Nor is it something that occurs because your mother or father was too distant / overbearing / smothering / essentially just pick a reason, it's probably been suggested at some point.

Attempts at reconnecting someone with their gender are also ineffective since most gay people still strongly identify with their gender identity. Instructing someone to do tasks such as sewing or basketball isn't going to do anything. You think I'm joking but I knew someone from another forum who was told to go bowling by a so called therapist to reconnect with his manliness. :lol:

The dark side of conversion therapy is that it leads to higher suicide rates. Talking through someone's sexuality or using physical methods (such as administrating electric shocks) as an attempt to change it does not work. Sexuality is not something that can be changed forcibly.

However, it can be unpredictable. Sexuality labels are essentially just a way to describe patterns and explain to others what you're looking for in a potential partner.

Bisexuality is a significantly vast category. It isn't always a 50 / 50 split in terms of attraction. Some people may prefer the opposite sex but still find the same sex attractive or vice versa. In fact, some people may find that which gender they prefer may change wildly. This is referred to as the bisexual cycle (or bicycle if you like puns :P). For example, someone might go through a couple of months where they have no interest in men and are only interested in women, then no interest in anyone for a bit, then no interest in women but a lot of interest in men for the rest of the year. We're not yet sure why this happens. However, other bisexuals don't experience this cycle and their preference or lack thereof remains consistent.

We know that it isn't completely dependent on hormones as one of the first attempts at conversion therapy was to try to treat it as a hormone imbalance but such attempts proved ineffective. I'd recommend looking into epigenetics if you have the time, I don't have time to cover it at the moment but it's an interesting read.

It becomes tricky to define sexuality when someone is at a difficult to define point on the sexuality spectrum. For example, if someone strongly preferred the same sex but every blue moon they find themselves attracted to the opposite sex or vice versa. Such a person may prefer to describe themselves as gay (or in the case of the opposite, straight) for simplicity's sake. They may struggle to maintain a relationship with someone who isn't their preferred sex.

Some people unexpectedly find themselves interested in someone that doesn't fit their past patterns of attraction. For example, a woman who identified as straight but finds herself in love with another woman in her forty's. It happens. Or a gay man who finds himself attracted to a woman and realises he is bisexual. That's the thing about labels, you can always switch to another if you find that the one you were using no longer fits. However, you can't forcibly make that happen.


_________________
23. Possibly B.A.P.


stratozyck
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

Joined: 28 Jun 2022
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 186
Location: US

30 Nov 2022, 7:10 pm

Its by the NYPost so its really propaganda in disguise. They are highlighting a seemingly unusual story and trying to present it as proof that people can be converted away from being gay.

I could run a different story that is far more common. An awful lot of straight people who end up in prison end up in temporary homosexual relationships. I'd say that is far more common than this case.

Maybe a better way to think about it is that people seek deep connection with others and the sexual aspect of it is a way to reaffirm a deep connection with someone. After all, the data show that a significant chunk of hetereos will get into a homosexual relationship if sent to prison.



cyberdad
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Feb 2011
Age: 55
Gender: Male
Posts: 30,594

30 Nov 2022, 9:06 pm

stratozyck wrote:
After all, the data show that a significant chunk of hetereos will get into a homosexual relationship if sent to prison.


There's not enough known about this phenomenon as to whether the relationships/hookups are facultative (because of jail/boredom) or coercive (where there's no choice) or for protection (basically prostituting yourself for protection).



cyberdad
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Feb 2011
Age: 55
Gender: Male
Posts: 30,594

30 Nov 2022, 9:13 pm

Lost_dragon wrote:
Bisexuality is a significantly vast category. It isn't always a 50 / 50 split in terms of attraction. Some people may prefer the opposite sex but still find the same sex attractive or vice versa. In fact, some people may find that which gender they prefer may change wildly. This is referred to as the bisexual cycle (or bicycle if you like puns :P). For example, someone might go through a couple of months where they have no interest in men and are only interested in women, then no interest in anyone for a bit, then no interest in women but a lot of interest in men for the rest of the year. We're not yet sure why this happens. However, other bisexuals don't experience this cycle and their preference or lack thereof remains consistent.


This is a good point. I think the whole gender identity/fluidity and sexual preferences all exist on a continuum.But getting back to this couple, their story will likely not sit well with the gay community as it seems to make the connotation that being gay is a lifestyle choice (NY times might be partly responsible for this through the article). Another thing is some gay people might actually be 50/50 and not realise they are bisexual and can swing when they meet somebody compatible.



naturalplastic
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Aug 2010
Age: 68
Gender: Male
Posts: 30,792
Location: temperate zone

30 Nov 2022, 9:22 pm

An effimentate guy meets a masculine woman, and they fall in love...is that even being 'heterosexual' anyway?

Seems to me that they are both still 'gay'.

And both may be knowingly being 'beards' for the other anyway.

And - psychologically- a lesbian and gay guy may have many things in common - both grew up as outcasts probably- so their match probably involves a many levels of emotion.

And I stick by my theory - that the fact that they get to do actual penetration is part of it too.