Couple claim they were both ‘gay’ until they met each other

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cyberdad
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30 Nov 2022, 10:51 pm

naturalplastic wrote:
An effimentate guy meets a masculine woman, and they fall in love...is that even being 'heterosexual' anyway?
Seems to me that they are both still 'gay'.


Depends if the effeminate guy wears the pants (or takes them off?) in bed?



Persephone29
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30 Nov 2022, 11:37 pm

I think sometimes sexual orientation can also be a reaction. Female child watches mother choose toxic relationships with men and instead of seeing the mother's part in it decides that 'all' males are pos. Female child tries a couple of heterosexual trial relationships and finds that guys play head games and aren't mature enough to stay committed. Same female child decides guys are a pain in the ass and finds more long term support and commitment from females. This same female might later meet a male individual that challenges those prejudices and give it a whirl.

I definitely think that unless it's solely about sex, people can and do evolve.


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cyberdad
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01 Dec 2022, 1:26 am

Persephone29 wrote:
I think sometimes sexual orientation can also be a reaction. Female child watches mother choose toxic relationships with men and instead of seeing the mother's part in it decides that 'all' males are pos. Female child tries a couple of heterosexual trial relationships and finds that guys play head games and aren't mature enough to stay committed. Same female child decides guys are a pain in the ass and finds more long term support and commitment from females. This same female might later meet a male individual that challenges those prejudices and give it a whirl.

I definitely think that unless it's solely about sex, people can and do evolve.


I certainly don't disagree with this. Quite plausible.



magz
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01 Dec 2022, 2:15 am

Lost_dragon wrote:
Conversion Therapy is an ineffective practice which primarily focuses on shaming individuals. Some talk therapy methods attempt to 'reconnect a patient with their gender' or 'find the route cause'. It is built upon the belief that something went wrong and needs to be fixed. Aversion therapy attempts to create a negative association with same sex attraction. For example, telling the patient to physically self-harm whenever they have a gay thought. This is unethical as no psychiatrist should ever recommend self-harm under any circumstances.

Homosexuality is not a phobia. Nor is it a learnt trauma response. When therapy tries to treat it as such, it is ineffective. It is not something you can unlearn. Nor is it something that occurs because your mother or father was too distant / overbearing / smothering / essentially just pick a reason, it's probably been suggested at some point.

Attempts at reconnecting someone with their gender are also ineffective since most gay people still strongly identify with their gender identity. Instructing someone to do tasks such as sewing or basketball isn't going to do anything. You think I'm joking but I knew someone from another forum who was told to go bowling by a so called therapist to reconnect with his manliness. :lol:

The dark side of conversion therapy is that it leads to higher suicide rates. Talking through someone's sexuality or using physical methods (such as administrating electric shocks) as an attempt to change it does not work. Sexuality is not something that can be changed forcibly.

However, it can be unpredictable. Sexuality labels are essentially just a way to describe patterns and explain to others what you're looking for in a potential partner.

Bisexuality is a significantly vast category. It isn't always a 50 / 50 split in terms of attraction. Some people may prefer the opposite sex but still find the same sex attractive or vice versa. In fact, some people may find that which gender they prefer may change wildly. This is referred to as the bisexual cycle (or bicycle if you like puns :P). For example, someone might go through a couple of months where they have no interest in men and are only interested in women, then no interest in anyone for a bit, then no interest in women but a lot of interest in men for the rest of the year. We're not yet sure why this happens. However, other bisexuals don't experience this cycle and their preference or lack thereof remains consistent.

We know that it isn't completely dependent on hormones as one of the first attempts at conversion therapy was to try to treat it as a hormone imbalance but such attempts proved ineffective. I'd recommend looking into epigenetics if you have the time, I don't have time to cover it at the moment but it's an interesting read.

It becomes tricky to define sexuality when someone is at a difficult to define point on the sexuality spectrum. For example, if someone strongly preferred the same sex but every blue moon they find themselves attracted to the opposite sex or vice versa. Such a person may prefer to describe themselves as gay (or in the case of the opposite, straight) for simplicity's sake. They may struggle to maintain a relationship with someone who isn't their preferred sex.

Some people unexpectedly find themselves interested in someone that doesn't fit their past patterns of attraction. For example, a woman who identified as straight but finds herself in love with another woman in her forty's. It happens. Or a gay man who finds himself attracted to a woman and realises he is bisexual. That's the thing about labels, you can always switch to another if you find that the one you were using no longer fits. However, you can't forcibly make that happen.


I would like to make this post shine.


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usagibryan
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01 Dec 2022, 7:51 am

naturalplastic wrote:
An effimentate guy meets a masculine woman, and they fall in love...is that even being 'heterosexual' anyway?


It's still heterosexual, they are an opposite gender couple which is the only criteria for being heterosexual. It's just not heteronormative.

naturalplastic wrote:
And I stick by my theory - that the fact that they get to do actual penetration is part of it too.


Gay couples, male/male and lesbian, can engage in "actual penetration" no problem, and you don't know that that's what they are doing or that's what they like.


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01 Dec 2022, 8:19 am

usagibryan wrote:
naturalplastic wrote:
An effimentate guy meets a masculine woman, and they fall in love...is that even being 'heterosexual' anyway?


It's still heterosexual, they are an opposite gender couple which is the only criteria for being heterosexual. It's just not heteronormative.

naturalplastic wrote:
And I stick by my theory - that the fact that they get to do actual penetration is part of it too.


Gay couples, male/male and lesbian, can engage in "actual penetration" no problem, and you don't know that that's what they are doing or that's what they like.


No. They do fake substitute penetration. Dildos (which dont feel anything), or use fleshlights that dont feel anything. With this couple both the piston and the cylinder both give and receive actual sensation. :)



magz
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01 Dec 2022, 8:22 am

Naturalplastic, please, stop.

You don't publicly talk about possible sexual positions of your married friends, nor do you claim some of them to be "superior" to others.
Just don't do it. It's disgusting and offensive, not to mention we're not in the Adult section.


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naturalplastic
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01 Dec 2022, 8:30 am

Sorry.

I just cant resist mischief sometimes.


bad Andy! Bad Andy!



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01 Dec 2022, 11:39 am

Both gender & sexual orientation can be fluid and ever changing for some people.

Their arrangement isn't too far off from the one I'm kinda in, really. Mostly gay cis man who's mostly into other cis guys + ~bi trans/fluid guy who's mostly into girls = we have pretty hot sex together.

Like my friend Rick from the beach who's partner is a trans woman says "It's the person." Sometimes people meet and are magnetically attracted to each other, gender and sexual orientation be damned.


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