Dr. Phil Special: Parents' Ultimate Test Dealing with Autism

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woodsman25
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22 Dec 2007, 5:33 am

jeeze, I saw Dr. Phil one time, my friend made me watch it cause he likes the guy.

The show was interesting, teens outa control, and he basicly tryed to force this one teen into a specail place for behavior modification or somethin like that, I was thinking to my self 'how the hell does he get to try to force people do to what he says anyways, like he knows best?...'

Anyways, I suppose if dealing with an autistic child and making them individual sucessful adults is the ultimate parental challenge then my parents got an A+.


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zee
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22 Dec 2007, 5:54 am

He is a sensationalist, nothing more. Do you ever notice how he spends most of the time revelling in the most dramatic parts of whatever issue he's discussing, but then says nothing helpful or analytical? It's like people only watch his show to see other people's problems, kind of like stopping to look at car crashes.



faithfilly
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22 Dec 2007, 7:19 am

DeaconBlues wrote:
Yeah, well, I think we already knew Dr Phil is an ass.

Sad, but apparently not everyone seems to have noticed. :(


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mechanima
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22 Dec 2007, 9:00 am

zee wrote:
That's a good letter mechanima, you should send it. Though it doesn't have that out-of-control drama that Phil thrives on, so I doubt he would seriously invite Aspies onto his show to highlight the positives. :?


Oh I sent it straight away. :o)

If he has any "for real" at all, it will be listed in the next wave of coming shows...it's up to him and his production team.

We shall see.

M



777
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22 Dec 2007, 2:00 pm

i_Am_andaJoy wrote:
777 wrote:
You misread. I don't deny that it does happen, but my language was misleading. A judge should never pass judgment without first hearing the facts and I don't believe you should make any judgment based on a presumption without first understanding the context something was said in. But go ahead. The wise will see that I am correct and you hastily pass judgment.


if you write something idiotic, then no, i do not misread, you mis-write. that was my whole point. and if you had paid attention and read the post, you would know that i did not say anything at all about the quote you go on about. so you are talking about some unmade, hypothetical judgement, because i didn't express ANY opinion about the divorce quote. you bore me. the-end.


Way to get your panties in a wad. You notice that you're the only one here getting your feathers ruffled?



crackbot4000
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22 Dec 2007, 3:01 pm

Quote:
"My mom is dead. I'm going to eat her carcass."


I'd say it's a combination of autism and poor parenting (not blaming her - she just needs more help dealing with a challenging kid). I'm autistic and I said stuff like that when I was around his age. I didn't actually mean it and I doubt this kid means it either. I didn't have any friends or know how to communicate very well. I said stuff like he did to scare my mom when I was unhappy either because I didn't get something I wanted or because I felt mom didn't care about me. I was able to talk like that without thinking about what I was saying. I don't think this kid is psychotic or crazy and I think it would be cruel to treat him like he's crazy. That would just make things worse and make him fell more unloved, rejected, not understood.

Things mom definitely should NOT do: Yelling - he may think mom hates him or doesn't like him or he may act crazy from getting a headache due to being oversensitive to sound. Time outs alone - he may feel rejected like mom doesn't want to be around him

I think his mom should show her love by talking to him and ask him in an appropriate way why he said those things. She shouldn't ask him like she thinks he's crazy. Instead, she should be like I understand you are not happy about something and ask him why and what she can do to help him. She should teach him feelings and help him communicate and express himself.

If it was my kid, I'd spank him (or some other punishment) to let him know it's unacceptable to talk like he did, then sit and try to understand how he's feeling, help him feel better, and then teach him how to express himself in the future.

Also, the kid's father should work less if he's able to and spend more time with his son and to help his kid's mom.

That's what would have worked best when I was like the kid but I know everyone is different. They had a Supernanny or Nanny 911 show with an autistic kid and she did a good job. So maybe calling one of the nanny experts or getting advice would help especially if the father isn't able to work less hours. Well that's my thoughts.



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22 Dec 2007, 3:04 pm

IdahoRose wrote:
I like Dr. Phil. I definitely plan on watching his special this afternoon.
I hate doctor phil. he is an ignorant jerk.



vessel
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22 Dec 2007, 4:39 pm

9CatMom wrote:
I have never taken Dr. Phil seriously. This is a gross misrepresentation of people with Asperger's.


I'm glad you guys think that. I was so angry watching it I thought I'd destroy my television. ;)



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22 Dec 2007, 5:58 pm

Dr. Phil is a cross between a sensationalist and a pop psychology charlatan. Much of his stuff is either common sense, or expressions of popular prejudice.


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Douglas_MacNeill
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22 Dec 2007, 6:54 pm

Welcome to WrongPlanet, crackbot4000!
I'm looking forward to many more insightful posts from you.



crackbot4000 wrote:
Quote:
"My mom is dead. I'm going to eat her carcass."


I'd say it's a combination of autism and poor parenting (not blaming her - she just needs more help dealing with a challenging kid). I'm autistic and I said stuff like that when I was around his age. I didn't actually mean it and I doubt this kid means it either. I didn't have any friends or know how to communicate very well. I said stuff like he did to scare my mom when I was unhappy either because I didn't get something I wanted or because I felt mom didn't care about me. I was able to talk like that without thinking about what I was saying. I don't think this kid is psychotic or crazy and I think it would be cruel to treat him like he's crazy. That would just make things worse and make him fell more unloved, rejected, not understood.

Things mom definitely should NOT do: Yelling - he may think mom hates him or doesn't like him or he may act crazy from getting a headache due to being oversensitive to sound. Time outs alone - he may feel rejected like mom doesn't want to be around him

I think his mom should show her love by talking to him and ask him in an appropriate way why he said those things. She shouldn't ask him like she thinks he's crazy. Instead, she should be like I understand you are not happy about something and ask him why and what she can do to help him. She should teach him feelings and help him communicate and express himself.

If it was my kid, I'd spank him (or some other punishment) to let him know it's unacceptable to talk like he did, then sit and try to understand how he's feeling, help him feel better, and then teach him how to express himself in the future.

Also, the kid's father should work less if he's able to and spend more time with his son and to help his kid's mom.

That's what would have worked best when I was like the kid but I know everyone is different. They had a Supernanny or Nanny 911 show with an autistic kid and she did a good job. So maybe calling one of the nanny experts or getting advice would help especially if the father isn't able to work less hours. Well that's my thoughts.



Aegius
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22 Dec 2007, 9:15 pm

mechanima wrote:
I thought, as an Aspie, it is my duty to be fair to Doctor Phil, so I just mailed him the following challenge, let's see if he can rise to it?

***
Hi,

Over time Dr Phil has done one hell of a job on people with Asperger Syndrome, presenting with the syndrome in the most negative possible light and not even acknowledging the existence of adults with AS as equals, capable of self definition, and, with a little understanding, capable of being as useful, functional and responsible members of society as anyone else, and perhaps more than many.

Would Dr Phil be prepared to rise to the challenge of a show presenting adults with AS, as the responsible, intelligent adults we are, with as much of our abilities as our limitations, and trying to explorer some of the options available to us in terms of finding ways to integrate and be compatible with the truly "wrong planet" we have been born on?
***

M


It won't happen. The show needs drama for ratings and people with problems yet aren't dangerous or malign aren't exciting enough for ratings. We are just too boring for it.



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22 Dec 2007, 9:43 pm

I just sent them this email.

Perhaps we should start a thread of replies to him and somehow get them sent off?

----

Dr Phil

I've seen you do a few segments on people with ASD now and I have to say that I'm actually quite upset at the seemingly unbalanced nature of these shows, as are a lot of other people in the autistic community.

All we've seen so far are extreme cases, nightmare children and overstressed parents, which, although they do exist and have very real problems, are not (by any means) always the case.

There are those of us with ASD (myself included) who lead very productive and successful lives in the face of this adversity and the inescapable differences we have to deal with on a day to day basis.

I myself was born to a 14 year old single Mother, living at times well under the poverty line, struggling to get by and live with a highly dysfunctional and abusive extended family, which was hard for everyone involved, let alone myself with the added pressure of undiagnosed Aspergers. But I've managed to come out on top, thanks to my Mothers exceptional parenting skills and the support of close family members such as my Brother, Sister, Stepfather, Aunty and cousins.

I now have a successful working life, where I work closely with other team members who make the effort (given our companys Equal Employment Oppurtunity Policy) to communicate with me on a level that best suits my skills and am also starting to build a name for myself in various projects as a local musician.

Having an ASD can be hell and I won't pretend that I haven't seen (and don't sometimes still see) some very dark times trying to function in NT (neuro-typical) society, but with the right support and understanding of our differences (it's not a disability!) we can be very useful and productive members of society who can, far from being a burden, contribute immensely to the world around us.

I think it's high time you did a show on people with ASD who are triumphing in life, rather than faltering and causing pain to those around them, especially given that you can look all over the world and see people hurting themselves and their families without any ASD to blame for it.

People with ASD are becoming a very large and close knit community the world over who support and care for eachother and there are many, many so-called "sufferers" and their families out there doing just fine.


---

That was it.


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22 Dec 2007, 11:03 pm

He shows the worst case scenario, and than everyone thinks that's the norm. :roll:


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23 Dec 2007, 3:13 am

crackbot4000 wrote:
If it was my kid, I'd spank him (or some other punishment) to let him know it's unacceptable to talk like he did, then sit and try to understand how he's feeling, help him feel better, and then teach him how to express himself in the future.


I hope another punishment. If being yelled at doesn't put the fear into him. Surely beating him will. A spanker, talking about bad parenting?


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23 Dec 2007, 3:17 am

I posted in the forum about this episode. My screename is YoshiYoshi at Dr. Phil.com Feel free to respond to my posts, or post on the boards. It's a great and easy way to be heard.

I also agree Dr. Phil is becoming more Springer-like. As many talk show fans know, once the host tries to be sensationalist and shocking like Springer, they've pretty much jumped the shark.


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23 Dec 2007, 6:40 am

Quote:
... barks like a dog .... "My mom is dead. I'm going to eat her carcass."...


A dog, or wolf ... fantasy, pretend play? I always thought children did that?
A shame for them to see it as a deviation while what he presented was a good opportunity for joined attention and play.


i_Am_andaJoy wrote:
... and i prefer my ending of wolf-boy-happiness and yummy carcasses. ....


QFT



sinagua wrote:
... who says AS can be shown in the brain ...


They're not used in diagnosing autism because imaging techniques have not shown to be reliable diagnostic tools.

Phil is an actor, a showbiz guy. He's in it for the money, money comes from advertisers, who pay for having many viewers and you attract those by showing spectacles and extreme events, extremist opinions and lots of emotions.

In short, it's a show.

teribennett7 wrote:
... though I prefer to use the Xanax as needed rather than all the time.


As is the intended/preferred use ... benzo's are highly addicitve and are supposed to be taken 'as needed' and not regularly.

777 wrote:
Would a judge give a verdict before he heard the facts? Would a mom punish her kid before he did any wrong?


Well, yes, some do that, unfortunately. Hardly a good analogy.

crackbot4000 wrote:
... If it was my kid, I'd spank him (or some other punishment) to let him know it's unacceptable to talk like he did ...


And hitting children is acceptable? What would he learn from that? If you are still wondering why people can become so violent, it's because the spanking taught them that violence is an acceptable way to force other people to behave more compliantly.