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Jay123
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13 Nov 2022, 8:18 pm

I'm sometimes accused on being Snooty and Patronizing even though I don't mean to be. I share my knowledge of a topic I enjoy and to some people it appears as if I'm talking down to them, or when I say "You Know What/Who that is, right?", and "You know what I mean, right?". I don't ever mean to be condescending, but I get accused of it every once in a while. Does this ever happen to you?



IsabellaLinton
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13 Nov 2022, 8:47 pm

People in real life sometimes think I'm snooty because I don't make eye contact and I don't smile much.
They interpret my mutism as being cold or aloof, like I'm better than them.
If and when they get to know me they're surprised how wrong that is.

Online, I don't know what people think.
I'm very honest and straightforward, but I also try to be kind to everyone.
If I'm blunt it's never meant to sound condescending.
It's usually that I don't know how to express emotions.



Fenn
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13 Nov 2022, 9:27 pm

I tend to recite all the facts I know on a subject, or list all prerequisite facts leading up to a conclusion. Some people think I am putting them down, or trying to say they do not know something obvious - when I am just trying to tell them what I would want someone to tell me - the entire trail leading to the conclusion.


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IsabellaLinton
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13 Nov 2022, 9:48 pm

Fenn wrote:
I tend to recite all the facts I know on a subject, or list all prerequisite facts leading up to a conclusion. Some people think I am putting them down, or trying to say they do not know something obvious - when I am just trying to tell them what I would want someone to tell me - the entire trail leading to the conclusion.



I'm a details person.
When I answer questions I tend to give microdetails that might seem too much.
It's not that I'm correcting anyone or suggesting I'm right and they're wrong.
My brain just needs to make sense of every. little. detail. always.
If I get a detail wrong or omit something I have to fix it for my own mental sanity.
This is especially true in written language where I can read and reread until it's right.

(Again I don't mean "I'm right", I mean that my words have to be right for me.)



Pepe
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14 Nov 2022, 3:38 am

Quote:
Do you ever come of as Condescending?


Yes...
Most ppl have a problem with my overwhelming superiority in all things. <facetiousness> :mrgreen:


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Don't tell me white lies. Gaslight me at your peril. Don't give me your bad attitude. Hypnosis, psychosis. Tomarto, tomayto. There are *4* lights. Honey badger.
If I'm so bad, pass me by. ;)


And one more thing,



Also, as George Carlin said, "I have no stake in the outcome." I'll stick around for the comedy.

"A stranger is a friend gang-stalker you haven't met yet."
Truth may be inconvenient but it is never politically incorrect...The Oracle of Truth has spoken...8)
Glory to Ukraine.


Pepe
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14 Nov 2022, 3:40 am

IsabellaLinton wrote:
Fenn wrote:
I tend to recite all the facts I know on a subject, or list all prerequisite facts leading up to a conclusion. Some people think I am putting them down, or trying to say they do not know something obvious - when I am just trying to tell them what I would want someone to tell me - the entire trail leading to the conclusion.



I'm a details person.
When I answer questions I tend to give microdetails that might seem too much.
It's not that I'm correcting anyone or suggesting I'm right and they're wrong.
My brain just needs to make sense of every. little. detail. always.
If I get a detail wrong or omit something I have to fix it for my own mental sanity.
This is especially true in written language where I can read and reread until it's right.

(Again I don't mean "I'm right", I mean that my words have to be right for me.)


I think this is relatively common for those on the spectrum.


_________________
Laughter is the best medicine. Age-appropriate behaviour is an arbitrary NT social construct.
Don't tell me white lies. Gaslight me at your peril. Don't give me your bad attitude. Hypnosis, psychosis. Tomarto, tomayto. There are *4* lights. Honey badger.
If I'm so bad, pass me by. ;)


And one more thing,



Also, as George Carlin said, "I have no stake in the outcome." I'll stick around for the comedy.

"A stranger is a friend gang-stalker you haven't met yet."
Truth may be inconvenient but it is never politically incorrect...The Oracle of Truth has spoken...8)
Glory to Ukraine.


Fenn
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14 Nov 2022, 10:14 am

I was just thinking about this example:
Before I met my wife, I was taking a drama class. I was also working as a professional computer scientist.
Some of the other people taking the class were professional actors, or working on their acting resume hoping to become full time (and quit that "day job"). One young woman, about my age, and (I thought) very pretty, was "Equity" - this is a reward you get for earning enough points to become a member of "Actor's Equity" a union for professional stage actors, and ONLY for professional stage actors. If you didn't earn your points you couldn't join. She had been cast in the lead for a touring company's "Anne of Green Gables" and the director liked her so much he gave her ALL her points (which they only had so many of to give) to cast her in the Equity Only show. A very big deal indeed. But now she was looking for another gig and taking classes.
I started one day to try to explain to her and some others at a pub, what it was like being a computer programmer, and why I had dreams of becoming an actor. I very much wanted to impress her, perhaps even work up to a first date. I started to build an analogy between a magician in the film Sinbad the Sailor and being a computer programmer. So I (briefly I thought) started to describe the magician: "The magician made these 'familiars', which are these dark bat-like things..." I began, thinking how this reference to a film about adventure and excitement would appeal to these actors. This young woman broke in in a very offended voice: "I KNOW what familiars are!"
I then tried to explain how there were many such familiars is fiction, but these happened to be bat-like.
The story was supposed to go on to explain that the magician in this film needed to use his own blood to make these familiars, and it seemed to pain him very much to do so, and how these familiar could move independently of the magician, but it seemed to exhaust him to make them, and that is what computer programming is like, and that is how I feel, and that is why I want to try being an actor.
But I never got that far.
Need I say - I never got to that first date?
Need I say - I never became a professional actor?
Need I point out that this little anecdote has way more facts and details than it really needs.


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RDOS scores - Aspie score 131/200 - neurotypical score 69/200 - very likely Aspie


shortfatbalduglyman
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30 Nov 2022, 5:25 pm

If you say "ever" and there is one or more times, then the answer is "yes".

If there are zero times, then the answer is "no"

The speaker only has one definition

All other definitions are "misunderstandings"



techstepgenr8tion
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30 Nov 2022, 5:35 pm

Most people I know don't have the library of facts, names, etc. put away so it can be difficult to spot when it's happening, especially if they keep quiet on not knowing a name, concept, etc..

I might be lucky though in that some of my friends at least partially hang out with me for that reason.

A memetic sidenote:

Image


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