Scared of death and dying

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chris1989
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13 Aug 2022, 3:15 pm

This is not a phobia I have but I seem to remember being a kid and worrying about dying from a heart attack and for a while I remember when I experienced panic attacks I was scared I would have fits (seizures) and collapse dead and thought at one point that anxiety created fits as I had seen a school friend have really severe fits even though I found out that he was epileptic and that sometimes if an epileptic has anxiety it can sometimes set off a seizure and it doesn't really happen to anyone really if they are non-epileptic and so that kind of reassured me.

I also remember for a while having these worries about apocalyptic things happening such as an asteroid hitting the Earth and wiping out humanity. It worried me even though I was interested in reading books about natural disasters but again I was reassured and told that the chances of these things happening is still extremely rare and may never happen in our life time, who knows ?

I also seem to find myself self-diagnosing myself with something I haven't got. I remember doing it during my panic attacks and found it that fits are set off by anxiety before I realised it only occurred mainly in those who already have epilepsy, I also remember trying to find out what these lumps were under ears and on my neck and thinking they were and became anxious that they were cancerous and went to some clinics and had an ultrasound and found out they were just calcium deposits and told to leave them as they may shrink over time and they did. I recently tried to find out about the risks of a heart attack and google highlighted from some health website that men aged 45 and older and women aged 55 and older are more likely to have a heart attack than younger men or women and found out also that stress and anxiety along with other things such as obesity, smoking etc is a risk factor and then had me worried that I make myself unnecessarily anxious than I need to be and obviously didn't help especially when people were scared of a nasty virus going around and has now made me worry that I'll end up having a heart attack in the future brought on by years of anxiety.

I know my Nan had some triple bypass operations and I also remember my dad had a TIA (transient ischemic attack) and wasn't even 50 at the time it happened and found out that it was probably brought on by years of smoking even though he wasn't smoking anymore at the time the attack happened.



DanielW
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13 Aug 2022, 3:44 pm

We all tend to increase out anxiety when we play "Dr. Google". I'd suggest not doing that. If you are genuinely concerned about something being wrong, go and get it checked out.

TIA's can happen to anyone, at any time, and you may have one and never have another - ever.

A person can do everything right and die getting hit by a car...or they can drink, smoke, and eat whatever they like and live to be 100. (my grandparents both did).

Life expectancy, can be health-related, genetics, or luck and 2 out of 3 of those thing are beyond our control, so do what you can, and try not to worry about what you cannot control...you will feel better in the long run.



Rossall
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13 Aug 2022, 5:34 pm

I am also terrified of death. It's the loss of control that scares me. I break out in a cold sweat just thinking about it.

But really it's just the same as going to sleep but permanent. If you can face 7 hours of sleep you should be able to face death. I am not religious so don't have the bonus of an afterlife.


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r00tb33r
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14 Aug 2022, 1:07 am

I'm scared of the absolute nothingness that comes, the finality of it. I'm not afraid of physical pain.

I envy religious people who genuinely believe they are going somewhere after they die. It gives them a lot of mental comfort. I don't get such luxury with my free mind.


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19 Aug 2022, 7:49 pm

I'm still doubling down on my afterlife plan where I just walk away instead of being judged because any accurate depiction of Heaven and Hell will not have what I desire which is a continuation of the pleasures I have enjoyed in life. Also, I hate being judged. If there really is nothing afterwards where our consciousness is just gone, well then I can sleep forever.


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cyberdad
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19 Aug 2022, 8:04 pm

r00tb33r wrote:
I'm scared of the absolute nothingness that comes, the finality of it. I'm not afraid of physical pain.


I suspect death will be like sleep. You aren't going to know the difference. You aren't going to feel anything because your body is dead.



Joe90
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19 Aug 2022, 8:10 pm

When I sleep I mostly dream. You don't dream when you're dead. I suppose sleeping is like a deep sleep without dreaming but I always wake up again, so I still can't get my head around actually being like that forever and ever.

I do believe that everyone gets reincarnated into a different body that's being conceived somewhere, but we don't know it's us. So it's a paradox really.

I'm hoping I'll be a popular, extroverted NT in my next life, although I won't appreciate it because I wouldn't know that the life I'm living now ever existed. But maybe I'll try. :)


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Aspiegaming
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19 Aug 2022, 8:21 pm

Reincarnation, huh? I'd like to think that every one of my past lives, each one farther back is worse than the one that came after it. It's like I don't win, I just get a slightly better life than the last one, but not by much.


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cyberdad
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19 Aug 2022, 8:22 pm

When you are in deep sleep you don't remember even being asleep,

You cant dream when there is no brain.



r00tb33r
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19 Aug 2022, 9:07 pm

cyberdad wrote:
r00tb33r wrote:
I'm scared of the absolute nothingness that comes, the finality of it. I'm not afraid of physical pain.


I suspect death will be like sleep. You aren't going to know the difference. You aren't going to feel anything because your body is dead.

I'm not afraid to feel. I'm afraid not to.

It's the agony of the thought.


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CarlM
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19 Aug 2022, 9:35 pm

I went ahead and picked the age I will die at. This gives me incentive to get anything important done before then. I picked an age which seems wildly optimistic compared to any of my male ancestors, but would seem pessimistic to anyone who knows me and how healthy I seem. I have a fear that there is some timebomb in me that will not care about my good health. However, I sure hope I'm wrong. If I'm wrong then I'll have to remember "Do not go gentle into that good night" :lol:.


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r00tb33r
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19 Aug 2022, 9:51 pm

CarlM wrote:
I went ahead and picked the age I will die at.

I'm 2 years past my planned expiration. What am I supposed to do?
CarlM wrote:
"Do not go gentle into that good night" :lol:.


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cyberdad
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19 Aug 2022, 10:34 pm

r00tb33r wrote:
I'm not afraid to feel. I'm afraid not to.

It's the agony of the thought.


Some years ago when I underwent an operational procedure, I was about to go under anaesthetic. A couple of pretty nurses were chatting with me as the anaesthetic was being administered. As I was laughing at a joke the next second everything went blank. My next conscious thoughts were in bed in the outpatient ward having no recollection what happened.

I actually thought the anaesthesia would have some effect on me before going under. It didn't. The nurses probably were trying to distract me with their pretty smiles and charming conversations (as they had done perhaps hundreds of times before with other patients). The idea is for the patient not to dwell on the operation or on not being awake as their body was being cut open.

I think death for most of us will be the same. One minute lying comfortably in a hospital bed pumped full of drugs and the next blissfully unaware that you have left your senses.



r00tb33r
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19 Aug 2022, 11:50 pm

cyberdad wrote:
r00tb33r wrote:
I'm not afraid to feel. I'm afraid not to.

It's the agony of the thought.


Some years ago when I underwent an operational procedure, I was about to go under anaesthetic. A couple of pretty nurses were chatting with me as the anaesthetic was being administered. As I was laughing at a joke the next second everything went blank. My next conscious thoughts were in bed in the outpatient ward having no recollection what happened.

I actually thought the anaesthesia would have some effect on me before going under. It didn't. The nurses probably were trying to distract me with their pretty smiles and charming conversations (as they had done perhaps hundreds of times before with other patients). The idea is for the patient not to dwell on the operation or on not being awake as their body was being cut open.

I think death for most of us will be the same. One minute lying comfortably in a hospital bed pumped full of drugs and the next blissfully unaware that you have left your senses.

I've been under 4 times. 3 of them were surgeries. I know exactly what you mean.

I mean, I'm afraid to not exist. I'm not talking about the moment of death, I mean thinking about it happening in the future is scary.

For a long time I had this idea, that I may one day transcend the limits of this body, and live as a different life form. No, I don't mean like going to a "heaven". I mean life outside of the human body, in this world, in this universe. That I would live past the end of humanity or even Earth, that I would be this cloud of matter hurling through space, and perhaps see the end of the universe, and die with it in entropy, theoretically, there exist other theories. I'm scared of entropy. To me entropy and death are one and the same.

There exist this challenging thought about the replacement of parts of the brain, does your consciousness go away, do you die? Is that new thing still you, or is it just talking like you to the outside observer while you're actually dead?


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auntblabby
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20 Aug 2022, 12:37 am

carl sagan found himself wandering alone, without a care in the world, through otherworldly vista after vista, each new one more beautiful than the last, and he was troubled because he thought he was supposed to be dead and gone, yet here he was in his gorgeous new land not knowing where he was, until he met a long-gone colleague who told him, "carl, you're in heaven."



cyberdad
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20 Aug 2022, 2:43 am

r00tb33r wrote:
I mean, I'm afraid to not exist. I'm not talking about the moment of death, I mean thinking about it happening in the future is scary.


Before responding to the rest of your post. I think this fear your experiencing represents what is fairly common in a our western world. A fixation with the ego of self. This doesn't necessarily apply to you but for many who thrive on attention from their fellow humans its a fear of being forgotten and not being relevant anymore.

Put the shoe on the other foot. If Marvel's Thanos came to earth right now and did his thing (clicked his fingers) and this time every person on earth disappeared and you were the only one left. Suddenly you are all alone. The fear of not existing shouldn't really be a problem now because your existence is only for yourself. There's nothing at stake. Whether you exist or not makes no difference, That's how it was before you were born, And that's how it will be after you are gone.