scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?

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sly279
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16 Oct 2019, 3:05 am

cathylynn wrote:
sly279 wrote:
-10
Since no one cares about me I won’t bother explaining anymore.

(((sly)))

Hugs, I just wish life would get better for me. It really feels hopeless.


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funeralxempire
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16 Oct 2019, 3:52 am

sly279 wrote:
cathylynn wrote:
sly279 wrote:
-10
Since no one cares about me I won’t bother explaining anymore.

(((sly)))

Hugs, I just wish life would get better for me. It really feels hopeless.


Can you find an outlet?
That's why I make music.


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sly279
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16 Oct 2019, 4:25 am

funeralxempire wrote:
sly279 wrote:
cathylynn wrote:
sly279 wrote:
-10
Since no one cares about me I won’t bother explaining anymore.

(((sly)))

Hugs, I just wish life would get better for me. It really feels hopeless.


Can you find an outlet?
That's why I make music.

It’s feels pointless without someone to share it with.
Should be more to life then working and playing video games alone, they lose their enjoyment, everything does. Not super excited for any games coming out or next generation, I don’t enjoy holidays anymore. Things I enjoyed aren’t enjoyable anymore.


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funeralxempire
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16 Oct 2019, 4:49 am

sly279 wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
sly279 wrote:
cathylynn wrote:
sly279 wrote:
-10
Since no one cares about me I won’t bother explaining anymore.

(((sly)))

Hugs, I just wish life would get better for me. It really feels hopeless.


Can you find an outlet?
That's why I make music.

It’s feels pointless without someone to share it with.
Should be more to life then working and playing video games alone, they lose their enjoyment, everything does. Not super excited for any games coming out or next generation, I don’t enjoy holidays anymore. Things I enjoyed aren’t enjoyable anymore.


I know the feeling. I go to work, I maybe work on a car and post on here and go to bed. Repeat. I lost interest in games years ago, even rFactor.

Part of why I suggest a creative outlet is that there's communities dedicated to them where you can post and already have a built-in base who might pay attention. You can post it here too. If it works for me, it might possibly work for you as well. Whether it's writing or visual art or music or photography or whatever.

Are you in Eugene? I know a guy someone from out there who would fit in well on here, if photography is of interest to you, he might be worth reaching out to.

https://www.deviantart.com/humloch


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auntblabby
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16 Oct 2019, 4:56 am

for us outliers, it generally hurts like hell to be forced to do everything alone, until one learns to love the reflection in the mirror at which point everybody else becomes irrelevant. so to loneliness, too, there comes an end. in my early years i found some comfort from this bit of prose -

To the Loneliest One

There is in certain living souls
A quality of loneliness unspeakable
So great it must be shared
As company is shared by lesser beings.
Such a loneliness is mine; so know by this
That in immensity
There is one lonelier than you.

Perhaps in the end, all that matters is this: that even to loneliness, there is an end."

[Theodore Sturgeon- 1918-1985]



EzraS
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16 Oct 2019, 5:07 am

+8



Jakki
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16 Oct 2019, 10:53 am

widower wrote:
About a minus 7, i don't recall ever feeling so low. I'm on the edge of tears all the time, i don't know how to begin fix the problems in my personality. I'm remote, withdrawn, clingy, not a good combination, no wonder everyone runs a mile. Because I'm so good at using humour as a self defense barrier for 'social situations', no one has any idea of what is behind the mask.

I'm bouncing between 'hello darkness my old friend' and 'i don't need no arms around me'.

I see this ! Music survived me into my late teenage years,that simon & garfunkel tune was practically a mantra for me ...... at that time , had no knowledge that there was remotely a difference in personality types .
You would have thought me, crazy then too . Just because.
Huggz widower.


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widower
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17 Oct 2019, 2:23 am

Jakki wrote:
widower wrote:
About a minus 7, i don't recall ever feeling so low. I'm on the edge of tears all the time, i don't know how to begin fix the problems in my personality. I'm remote, withdrawn, clingy, not a good combination, no wonder everyone runs a mile. Because I'm so good at using humour as a self defense barrier for 'social situations', no one has any idea of what is behind the mask.

I'm bouncing between 'hello darkness my old friend' and 'i don't need no arms around me'.

I see this ! Music survived me into my late teenage years,that simon & garfunkel tune was practically a mantra for me ...... at that time , had no knowledge that there was remotely a difference in personality types .
You would have thought me, crazy then too . Just because.
Huggz widower.


Hi Jakki
Comforting to find someone actually heard me. Thankyou. 'Music survived me' is an odd phrase, do you mean music helped you survive? I think there may be something in this, and maybe I need to be working on a list of upbeat music to improve my outlook. Suggestions welcome, anyone?
W



cathylynn
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17 Oct 2019, 2:43 am

widower wrote:
Jakki wrote:
widower wrote:
About a minus 7, i don't recall ever feeling so low. I'm on the edge of tears all the time, i don't know how to begin fix the problems in my personality. I'm remote, withdrawn, clingy, not a good combination, no wonder everyone runs a mile. Because I'm so good at using humour as a self defense barrier for 'social situations', no one has any idea of what is behind the mask.

I'm bouncing between 'hello darkness my old friend' and 'i don't need no arms around me'.

I see this ! Music survived me into my late teenage years,that simon & garfunkel tune was practically a mantra for me ...... at that time , had no knowledge that there was remotely a difference in personality types .
You would have thought me, crazy then too . Just because.
Huggz widower.


Hi Jakki
Comforting to find someone actually heard me. Thankyou. 'Music survived me' is an odd phrase, do you mean music helped you survive? I think there may be something in this, and maybe I need to be working on a list of upbeat music to improve my outlook. Suggestions welcome, anyone?
W


when i want to express deep emotions, i listen to barber's adagio for strings. there's a place for us from west side story has a ton of hope.



auntblabby
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17 Oct 2019, 3:30 am

there is something hypnotically edifying about being in a cathedral listening to massed choirs or pipe organ [especially antiphonal pipes].



Aisling
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17 Oct 2019, 4:08 am

I'm a fair -1 today. Not quite in the depths but pissed off. I am basically my sister's carer and I have no time for myself and I'm always cookin coookin coooooooooooookin or cleaning or something else that takes my precious time. I slept bad last night, this cannot be my life....no one gives a s**t how I feel



AnonymousAnonymous
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17 Oct 2019, 5:58 pm

7


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Jakki
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17 Oct 2019, 8:13 pm

widower wrote:
Jakki wrote:
widower wrote:
About a minus 7, i don't recall ever feeling so low. I'm on the edge of tears all the time, i don't know how to begin fix the problems in my personality. I'm remote, withdrawn, clingy, not a good combination, no wonder everyone runs a mile. Because I'm so good at using humour as a self defense barrier for 'social situations', no one has any idea of what is behind the mask.

I'm bouncing between 'hello darkness my old friend' and 'i don't need no arms around me'.

I see this ! Music survived me into my late teenage years,that simon & garfunkel tune was practically a mantra for me ...... at that time , had no knowledge that there was remotely a difference in personality types .
You would have thought me, crazy then too . Just because.
Huggz widower.


Hi Jakki
Comforting to find someone actually heard me. Thankyou. 'Music survived me' is an odd phrase, do you mean music helped you survive? I think there may be something in this, and maybe I need to be working on a list of upbeat music to improve my outlook. Suggestions welcome, anyone?
W

Often my diction is a oddity . Music. Helped me get through some early ,
Absolutely insane periods of my upbringing . I understand dysfunctional, but this was truley abberant behaviour on the part of my birth family.
Family did not fall apart , it dissolved ..to this , i may try to forgive , but prolly never get real understands .
So glad you found something to help get you through. :)


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IsabellaLinton
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17 Oct 2019, 9:55 pm

auntblabby wrote:
for us outliers, it generally hurts like hell to be forced to do everything alone, until one learns to love the reflection in the mirror at which point everybody else becomes irrelevant. so to loneliness, too, there comes an end. in my early years i found some comfort from this bit of prose -

To the Loneliest One

There is in certain living souls
A quality of loneliness unspeakable
So great it must be shared
As company is shared by lesser beings.
Such a loneliness is mine; so know by this
That in immensity
There is one lonelier than you.

Perhaps in the end, all that matters is this: that even to loneliness, there is an end."

[Theodore Sturgeon- 1918-1985]


Image



auntblabby
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17 Oct 2019, 10:11 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:
Image

:pr: :pl: :D :heart:



widower
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18 Oct 2019, 10:29 am

Often my diction is a oddity . Music. Helped me get through some early ,
Absolutely insane periods of my upbringing . I understand dysfunctional, but this was truley abberant behaviour on the part of my birth family.
Family did not fall apart , it dissolved ..to this , i may try to forgive , but prolly never get real understands .
So glad you found something to help get you through. :)[/quote]

Hi Jakki

Congrats on surviving. I don't think I can blame my family for anything really. I have pretty much stopped speaking to them, one by one, over the years for various reasons, but objectively, probably it was usually my fault more than theirs.

On the music topic, I'm finding it slow going to come up with upbeat tracks that I already like, I only have 'Reasons to be Cheerful' and 'Good Vibrations' so far. what can you add?
W