Decision making is hard

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I'm very indecisive because if you make the wrong decision most of the time you can't fix it when you realise what you should have done.

It's too late. I cant help beating myself up over mistakes. If only i could have known how this was gojng to turn out i could have made a better decision.

I have the same general problem. I'm going to talk to my therapist about it today, actually.

If only you knew how what was going to turn out?

Yes there are some decisions Im afraid to make for fear of the outcome. I have already made permenent mistakes that cant be fixed. I dream of what could have been if only I had made the right decision.

Things in dealing with other people. If I had said x instead of y. If I'd made my case instead of accepting the situation and not rocking the boat.

I can definetly understand where youre coming from. I used to be that way alot, and i still am at a certain degree. Just recently i was offered a good full time job position, and i was really undesisive about taking it because of my stress levels at times. I just simply weighed out tve ootions and decided that there will be plenty of other offers in the future.

What im trying to say is that if one opertunity closes, another will open. Youll do fine.

I'm the same way. Try not to beat yourself up too much - it's not your fault, you can't see the future until it happens. Big dragon hugs

But you didn't, so you couldn't.

There is some comfort in self-blame because it creates the illusion that you are somehow in control.

Sometimes it's more important to do anything at all because it breaks the deadlock and creates new opportunities. If control is your issue that can be scary.

It's ok to be the sort of person who needs a lot of control in your life.

For an autistic person, you are doing a lot, both with work and with your social life. Maybe you should stop being so hard on yourself?

Thanks I appreciate the comments.

I'll try and explain how devastating this decision was.

Did you see Chris Packham's documentary on autism. He was devastated when his kestrel died. Similar thing going on in my family. Nothing died, but its that level... a decision was made too hastily and someone isn't going to get over it soon.

I can definitely relate. Can't really make big or small decisions and stew over them for ages. Then when I do take decisive action it all comes out wrong or looks weird.

This post really spoke to me. Thanks. It helps to remember how important those little action steps are. And also there are times when I put off making a decision, and then realize it's too late now. So my inaction was an unwitting choice. Or changing circumstances made the decision for me.

The hardest part about making a decision for me is getting past that horrible overwhelmed feeling and starting to break down the decision into little action steps I can take right now.

That's cool
Sometimes I have no idea whether things will be helpful or not. People are different. This works for me though.

All right, can you apologize? Say you're sorry and that you messed up, and ask the other person what you can do to fix it?

I'm sorry, this is all a bit vague, but I do get that you don't want to share everything on the internet. Feedback will be random.