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dorkseid
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08 Aug 2021, 4:41 pm

I get that 39 isn't old. My point is that it's too old to do the things in life I want. These are some of the thing that I am now too old to ever be able to do:

Start saving for retirement.
Travel the world and have adventures.
Date beautiful, young women.

I never got to do any of these things at the appropriate age, and now I am too old and its too late. Life has already passed me by. I no longer have anything positive to look forward to in the future. For all intents and purposes, my life is already over.



salad
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08 Aug 2021, 4:55 pm

dorkseid wrote:
I get that 39 isn't old. My point is that it's too old to do the things in life I want. These are some of the thing that I am now too old to ever be able to do:

Start saving for retirement.
Travel the world and have adventures.
Date beautiful, young women.

I never got to do any of these things at the appropriate age, and now I am too old and its too late. Life has already passed me by. I no longer have anything positive to look forward to in the future. For all intents and purposes, my life is already over.


I've heard you've been through a lot in life, from being abused, to homelessness, to having your struggles dismissed, and many other hardships, both stated and secret

Its understandable how going through hell your entire life and being in the sewer of life would make someone depressed, miserable and see no hope for it to improve. It's understandable why your age would cause you more hopelessness and despondency

However I demur with your assertion that your age limits you

Age is a mindset

39 isn't too old

Arnold Schwarzenegger is 73 yet still kicking it hard in life

Donnie Yen is 57 yet a champion martial artist and actor

David Goggins is 45 yet runs 20 miles a day

Jeff Cavaliere, legendary fitness guru from Athlean X, hes 45 yet has the body of a buff model 25 year old

Nick Vujicic has no arms and no legs yet is living life to the fullest

That isnt to dismiss your struggles and hardships

I only say this to remind you that your mindset and choices dont have to be limited by your chronological age


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dorkseid
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08 Aug 2021, 7:33 pm

salad wrote:
dorkseid wrote:
I get that 39 isn't old. My point is that it's too old to do the things in life I want. These are some of the thing that I am now too old to ever be able to do:

Start saving for retirement.
Travel the world and have adventures.
Date beautiful, young women.

I never got to do any of these things at the appropriate age, and now I am too old and its too late. Life has already passed me by. I no longer have anything positive to look forward to in the future. For all intents and purposes, my life is already over.


I've heard you've been through a lot in life, from being abused, to homelessness, to having your struggles dismissed, and many other hardships, both stated and secret

Its understandable how going through hell your entire life and being in the sewer of life would make someone depressed, miserable and see no hope for it to improve. It's understandable why your age would cause you more hopelessness and despondency

However I demur with your assertion that your age limits you

Age is a mindset

39 isn't too old

Arnold Schwarzenegger is 73 yet still kicking it hard in life

Donnie Yen is 57 yet a champion martial artist and actor

David Goggins is 45 yet runs 20 miles a day

Jeff Cavaliere, legendary fitness guru from Athlean X, hes 45 yet has the body of a buff model 25 year old

Nick Vujicic has no arms and no legs yet is living life to the fullest

That isnt to dismiss your struggles and hardships

I only say this to remind you that your mindset and choices dont have to be limited by your chronological age


These people may be older now, but they all got their starts at much younger ages. If circumstance were better I could've started something in my 20's, but I never got the chance to then and I'm too old to start anything now.



kraftiekortie
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08 Aug 2021, 7:43 pm

I don’t agree with you, Dorkseid.

Many people actually begin life in their 40s.



dorkseid
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08 Aug 2021, 8:29 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
I don’t agree with you, Dorkseid.

Many people actually begin life in their 40s.


What do you consider "beginning life"?

What history did these people have prior to "beginning life"? Had they already spent a significant portion of the previous 40 years being beaten down? Were they abused by their family or community? Were they already suffering from crippling anxiety and depression resulting from all the abuse they'd endured when they finally got around to "beginning life"?



salad
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08 Aug 2021, 9:12 pm

dorkseid wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
I don’t agree with you, Dorkseid.

Many people actually begin life in their 40s.


What do you consider "beginning life"?

What history did these people have prior to "beginning life"? Had they already spent a significant portion of the previous 40 years being beaten down? Were they abused by their family or community? Were they already suffering from crippling anxiety and depression resulting from all the abuse they'd endured when they finally got around to "beginning life"?


Im not here to invalidate what you've suffered since quite frankly I admit you've suffered 10x more than I could ever imagine. However you know nothing about some of the people whom I mentioned and what they've been through in life before they became legends

David Goggins was an African American man born in the racist 1970s to a father so abusive he used to force David Goggins to strip naked, put him on the bed in a dark room, and using sadistic principles of psychological torture where he would suddenly, while 8 year old David was blinded in a dark room, come from behind him and whip his naked bottom until his body was scarred with blood. David's father wouldn't even let David go to school most days to avoid being outed for physical abuse, and he forced David to work in a stinky skate rink since he was only 5, forcing him to clean bathrooms and pick tampons from the toilets. When David was asleep his father used to point a gun at him just to remind him that he owns him and that he's dead meat.

David grew up his whole life watching his dad torture and beat his mom viciously in front of him, to the point where David was mentally abandoned by his mom and his mom was suicidal and in her own mental fog of psychosis. When David was barely 9 his mom and him had to flee his dad, and they ended up dirt poor living in a $7 a month apartment having to scrounge pennies just to survive.

David had ADD, PTSD, ADHD, and being the only black kid in his predominantly white school he faced severe racism from staff and students, as well as abuse from his own teachers. Because of all the days of school David missed due to his abusive father, as well as dealing with severe ADD, ADHD, PTSD, anxiety, and many other disorders without treatment, David was literally unable to learn in school and went through all of school cheating. By the time David Goggins dropped out of high school he only had a 3rd grade reading level.

By the time David Goggins was 24 he was a miserable, broken and depressed black man weighing 297 pounds, making only $1000 a month spraying for cockroaches, without any hope for a better life. One day David Goggins watched a documentary about the Navy SEALs and said to himself, "hmmm, what if I can become a Navy SEAL." David applied to the recruiting station to be a SEAL and was told that if he wanted to be a SEAL he would have to drop down to 195 pounds by the end of the summer. So thats when 297 pound David Goggins, who I forgot to mention had sickle cell traits, a literal f*****g HOLE IN HIS HEART, and who was negative buoyant and terrified of the water, decided to spend 3 months hellishly training, studying and fasting (the Navy SEAL had a written test and David Goggins had only a 3rd grade education level). In 3 months he crammed all of high school education and passed the written exam, as well as lost 106 pounds. Yes, he lost 106 pounds in 3 months

Then he decided to join the SEALs and became the 36th African American SEAL in Navy SEAL history, set the record for the only SEAL to complete SEAL training three times in 1 year, set the world record in pull ups with 4,032 pull ups in under 24 hours, and ran hundred mile races every other week.

And what I said was barely even scratching the surface of what David has accomplished.

Im not saying your life wasn't hard, but David Goggins lived a life no less hellish than yours and look at what he's accomplished with a no excuse mentality, a positive mindset, and determination

David literally lived a mile away from the KKK headquarters in Indiana and had Klan members' sons as his classmates, who used to routinely call him the N word and who made threats to lynch him


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dorkseid
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08 Aug 2021, 9:40 pm

salad wrote:
dorkseid wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
I don’t agree with you, Dorkseid.

Many people actually begin life in their 40s.


What do you consider "beginning life"?

What history did these people have prior to "beginning life"? Had they already spent a significant portion of the previous 40 years being beaten down? Were they abused by their family or community? Were they already suffering from crippling anxiety and depression resulting from all the abuse they'd endured when they finally got around to "beginning life"?


Im not here to invalidate what you've suffered since quite frankly I admit you've suffered 10x more than I could ever imagine. However you know nothing about some of the people whom I mentioned and what they've been through in life before they became legends

David Goggins was an African American man born in the racist 1970s to a father so abusive he used to force David Goggins to strip naked, put him on the bed in a dark room, and using sadistic principles of psychological torture where he would suddenly, while 8 year old David was blinded in a dark room, come from behind him and whip his naked bottom until his body was scarred with blood. David's father wouldn't even let David go to school most days to avoid being outed for physical abuse, and he forced David to work in a stinky skate rink since he was only 5, forcing him to clean bathrooms and pick tampons from the toilets. When David was asleep his father used to point a gun at him just to remind him that he owns him and that he's dead meat.

David grew up his whole life watching his dad torture and beat his mom viciously in front of him, to the point where David was mentally abandoned by his mom and his mom was suicidal and in her own mental fog of psychosis. When David was barely 9 his mom and him had to flee his dad, and they ended up dirt poor living in a $7 a month apartment having to scrounge pennies just to survive.

David had ADD, PTSD, ADHD, and being the only black kid in his predominantly white school he faced severe racism from staff and students, as well as abuse from his own teachers. Because of all the days of school David missed due to his abusive father, as well as dealing with severe ADD, ADHD, PTSD, anxiety, and many other disorders without treatment, David was literally unable to learn in school and went through all of school cheating. By the time David Goggins dropped out of high school he only had a 3rd grade reading level.

By the time David Goggins was 24 he was a miserable, broken and depressed black man weighing 297 pounds, making only $1000 a month spraying for cockroaches, without any hope for a better life. One day David Goggins watched a documentary about the Navy SEALs and said to himself, "hmmm, what if I can become a Navy SEAL." David applied to the recruiting station to be a SEAL and was told that if he wanted to be a SEAL he would have to drop down to 195 pounds by the end of the summer. So thats when 297 pound David Goggins, who I forgot to mention had sickle cell traits, a literal f*****g HOLE IN HIS HEART, and who was negative buoyant and terrified of the water, decided to spend 3 months hellishly training, studying and fasting (the Navy SEAL had a written test and David Goggins had only a 3rd grade education level). In 3 months he crammed all of high school education and passed the written exam, as well as lost 106 pounds. Yes, he lost 106 pounds in 3 months

Then he decided to join the SEALs and became the 36th African American SEAL in Navy SEAL history, set the record for the only SEAL to complete SEAL training three times in 1 year, set the world record in pull ups with 4,032 pull ups in under 24 hours, and ran hundred mile races every other week.

And what I said was barely even scratching the surface of what David has accomplished.

Im not saying your life wasn't hard, but David Goggins lived a life no less hellish than yours and look at what he's accomplished with a no excuse mentality, a positive mindset, and determination

David literally lived a mile away from the KKK headquarters in Indiana and had Klan members' sons as his classmates, who used to routinely call him the N word and who made threats to lynch him


That's all terrible. I appreciate that Mr. Goggins overcame unsurmountable odds to succeed.

But you seem to still be missing the point that my problem is that I am now already too old to be able to turn my life around. The NAVY does not accept recruits at my age.



salad
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08 Aug 2021, 9:56 pm

dorkseid wrote:
salad wrote:
dorkseid wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
I don’t agree with you, Dorkseid.

Many people actually begin life in their 40s.


What do you consider "beginning life"?

What history did these people have prior to "beginning life"? Had they already spent a significant portion of the previous 40 years being beaten down? Were they abused by their family or community? Were they already suffering from crippling anxiety and depression resulting from all the abuse they'd endured when they finally got around to "beginning life"?


Im not here to invalidate what you've suffered since quite frankly I admit you've suffered 10x more than I could ever imagine. However you know nothing about some of the people whom I mentioned and what they've been through in life before they became legends

David Goggins was an African American man born in the racist 1970s to a father so abusive he used to force David Goggins to strip naked, put him on the bed in a dark room, and using sadistic principles of psychological torture where he would suddenly, while 8 year old David was blinded in a dark room, come from behind him and whip his naked bottom until his body was scarred with blood. David's father wouldn't even let David go to school most days to avoid being outed for physical abuse, and he forced David to work in a stinky skate rink since he was only 5, forcing him to clean bathrooms and pick tampons from the toilets. When David was asleep his father used to point a gun at him just to remind him that he owns him and that he's dead meat.

David grew up his whole life watching his dad torture and beat his mom viciously in front of him, to the point where David was mentally abandoned by his mom and his mom was suicidal and in her own mental fog of psychosis. When David was barely 9 his mom and him had to flee his dad, and they ended up dirt poor living in a $7 a month apartment having to scrounge pennies just to survive.

David had ADD, PTSD, ADHD, and being the only black kid in his predominantly white school he faced severe racism from staff and students, as well as abuse from his own teachers. Because of all the days of school David missed due to his abusive father, as well as dealing with severe ADD, ADHD, PTSD, anxiety, and many other disorders without treatment, David was literally unable to learn in school and went through all of school cheating. By the time David Goggins dropped out of high school he only had a 3rd grade reading level.

By the time David Goggins was 24 he was a miserable, broken and depressed black man weighing 297 pounds, making only $1000 a month spraying for cockroaches, without any hope for a better life. One day David Goggins watched a documentary about the Navy SEALs and said to himself, "hmmm, what if I can become a Navy SEAL." David applied to the recruiting station to be a SEAL and was told that if he wanted to be a SEAL he would have to drop down to 195 pounds by the end of the summer. So thats when 297 pound David Goggins, who I forgot to mention had sickle cell traits, a literal f*****g HOLE IN HIS HEART, and who was negative buoyant and terrified of the water, decided to spend 3 months hellishly training, studying and fasting (the Navy SEAL had a written test and David Goggins had only a 3rd grade education level). In 3 months he crammed all of high school education and passed the written exam, as well as lost 106 pounds. Yes, he lost 106 pounds in 3 months

Then he decided to join the SEALs and became the 36th African American SEAL in Navy SEAL history, set the record for the only SEAL to complete SEAL training three times in 1 year, set the world record in pull ups with 4,032 pull ups in under 24 hours, and ran hundred mile races every other week.

And what I said was barely even scratching the surface of what David has accomplished.

Im not saying your life wasn't hard, but David Goggins lived a life no less hellish than yours and look at what he's accomplished with a no excuse mentality, a positive mindset, and determination

David literally lived a mile away from the KKK headquarters in Indiana and had Klan members' sons as his classmates, who used to routinely call him the N word and who made threats to lynch him


That's all terrible. I appreciate that Mr. Goggins overcame unsurmountable odds to succeed.

But you seem to still be missing the point that my problem is that I am now already too old to be able to turn my life around. The NAVY does not accept recruits at my age.


You're missing the point of the story and taking it too literally. The point of the story transcends the instantiation of becoming a SEAL David Goggins manifested in his own unique instance; the story is general and extrapolates to everyone that whatever our circumstances we can accomplish a lot more than we realize if we open up our minds to the possibilities and are willing to suffer hell working for our goals

Before David Goggins accomplished what he did the realistic redpill for him would have sounded something like this:

"You're a black man who cant swim, with sickle cell traits, weighing 297 pounds, whose whole life was abuse and skipping school, and you actually think you can hang with the best military special forces in the world, especially when only 35 African Americans have ever been SEALS and those 35 blacks were the creme le crop, while you're a pathetic loser who can barely read and write and whose only accomplishment is spraying for cockroaches. The Navy SEALS is primarily water based training of the highest order and you not only have sickle cell traits, but you could barely swim and cant even float. May I remind you that only 25% of Navy SEAL recruits pass and these are guys from military families bred from birth to be SEALS and you're bred from birth to be a failure from your genetics down to your individual circumstances. What shot does a nobody like you have at the SEALS?"

That nobody defied all the "common sense" that said he cant be a SEAL and not only became a SEAL, but he became the greatest SEAL in history.

The excuses you make may sound rational and common sense barriers for why you cant accomplish what you want in life, but if you keep an open mind you'll find that life has a lot more possibilities if you only open yourself up to them and not let excuses limit your success


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09 Aug 2021, 5:02 am

Sometimes I feel like that too when seeing people who are my age or younger than me and way more successful... having a non-disabled sister who's only a year and a half older who's done really well in life and done lots of stuff that I'd want to do too surely isn't helping, either. ​

dorkseid wrote:
I get that 39 isn't old. My point is that it's too old to do the things in life I want. These are some of the thing that I am now too old to ever be able to do:

Start saving for retirement.
Travel the world and have adventures.
Date beautiful, young women.

I never got to do any of these things at the appropriate age, and now I am too old and its too late. Life has already passed me by. I no longer have anything positive to look forward to in the future. For all intents and purposes, my life is already over.


I don't see how 39 could be too old to start saving for retirement. 8O
I mean, obviously you would've been able to save more if you could've started at, say, 29 than if you started now, but if you have money left over after necessary bills, then nothing stops you from starting now.

Same with traveling; age isn't an issue. At work, we had this regular customer who kept traveling all around the world in his 80s. Of course, it takes money, but if you can arrange that, then age isn't an issue. And if you're fine with less luxurious ways of travel and places to stay, traveling becomes much cheaper than it would if you wanted to do it in a glamorous way. I only work part time, yet I'm able to save money for traveling every now and then alongside with paying off a debt since I'm strict with what I spend on in my daily life and I mark down every cent I use and what I use it on.

This one's valid I suppose, since most people prefer partners their own age and those who don't tend have lots of older people to choose from, especially the beautiful ones. But hey, there are plenty of people in the world who never get to date the men and women with super model looks. You're just part of that club. I'm a member too for now, though probably forever. :lol:



DavidJSNSW64
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09 Aug 2021, 5:25 am

We really only have the moment that we call now. So in that moment, I'd be considering what I can do now. Thinking "I'm too old" (and I certainly slip into that periodically) wastes that moment. Thinking about what we could have done five years ago or so is pointless and squanders even more time.



cyberdad
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09 Aug 2021, 5:38 am

I didn't really get my act together till I got to 35, 39 isn't old to make a fresh start.



dorkseid
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09 Aug 2021, 8:16 am

When I tried to enlist in the Air Force I was told I'm too old, and I wasn't even 30 at the time. A person can advance in a career to higher level that unlock as he gets older, but only if he got started on that career when he was young. Someone who started at the bottom of the career ladder in his 20s will have advanced to a significantly higher position by 40. But another person who has no previous involvement cannot just walk in at 40 and get an equal opportunity to compete for that advanced position. That is just reality. And unlike body weight and physical fitness, no amount of will power or hard work can ever reverse age. And I just don't have any of the energy I had in my 20's or even early 30's anymore. I'm sure Kraftie is going to tell us all about how he still has all that energy even at 60; but I'm not Kraftie.



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09 Aug 2021, 8:20 am

If I knew you better, I would be able to offer better advice.

But I do KNOW that it's not too late for you at 39. Plenty of people are "late bloomers."

The mindset that you have will cause you to realize your self-fulfilling prophecy.

You are an intelligent person. You have a chance, buddy.



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09 Aug 2021, 11:18 am

Waking up each morning counting your losses and missed chances isn't the way forward. I've done that and it did me no good. About a year ago I decided to start counting my blessings instead, and I found more than I imagined I would.

At 54 obviously I'm not going to catch up with most that I missed out on, but I DO have a life ahead of me still, and I intend to live it to the fullest. I feel so much better now, it sometimes feels like the sun is shining inside my head. Chasing out bad thoughts has become a habit.

Change your mindset. May sound impossible, but it's not.

What I wish for you is clarity of mind and the will to see beyond all that was and is wrong with your life.


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09 Aug 2021, 5:07 pm

Quote:
Start saving for retirement.

I don't know about this one.

Quote:
Travel the world and have adventures.

Why is 39 too old to travel the world and have adventures? It depends on how much money you have. My 58-year-old uncle travels a lot and goes on adventures. He still climbs trees!

Quote:
Date beautiful, young women.

A lot of women in their 20s would date someone your age, and women in their 30s are still young and beautiful.

My boyfriend is 20+ years older than me and I find him handsome and sexy. And I'm nowhere near the menopause yet so I still look young, my skin is soft and I have all my female hormones.
I hate it when people say that people over 30 aren't attractive any more.


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09 Aug 2021, 5:52 pm

I agree. There are people in their Golden Years who are still quite attractive.