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blazingstar
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Age: 68
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09 Aug 2021, 6:44 pm

I’m so sorry you are feeling down. I get that. Sometimes I can slip into embarrassment at having been so unsuccessful at so many things and failing to get as far as I should have in life.

I won’t dwell on it here, because I’ve found that counter productive. But I can assure you that I suffered abuse from parents, therapists, husbands and lovers.

I started my own business at 50. I started traveling shortly thereafter. I entered the first healthy relationship in my life at 52. I am no one special. Just an ordinary autistic woman who has lived a hard life.

I can’t tell you what is right for you, but from my perspective, you aren’t too old. I hope you can find the comfort and hope to really live.


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dorkseid
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10 Aug 2021, 1:04 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
If I knew you better, I would be able to offer better advice.

But I do KNOW that it's not too late for you at 39. Plenty of people are "late bloomers."

The mindset that you have will cause you to realize your self-fulfilling prophecy.

You are an intelligent person. You have a chance, buddy.


Its too late for what I want out of life.

Joe90 wrote:
Why is 39 too old to travel the world and have adventures? It depends on how much money you have. My 58-year-old uncle travels a lot and goes on adventures. He still climbs trees!


I don't have any money, and I don't have any prospects for changing that.

Joe90 wrote:
A lot of women in their 20s would date someone your age, and women in their 30s are still young and beautiful.

My boyfriend is 20+ years older than me and I find him handsome and sexy. And I'm nowhere near the menopause yet so I still look young, my skin is soft and I have all my female hormones.
I hate it when people say that people over 30 aren't attractive any more.


Most women in their 20's want to date men their own age. And the ones who do like older men are looking for ones who are handsome and successful, not fat and broke like me.

Attractiveness is not an absolute quality. It differs from one person's perspective to another. I've said before that I don't find blonds attractive, even though a very large amount of men do. That is to say that if I'm personally not drawn to someone that doesn't mean she's unattractive, just not for me. And I've already explained in other threads the reason I'm not drawn to women my own age has to do with where I am in life: while everyone else has grown and advanced in life, I've remained stagnant for the past 20 years. I've never been married or even dated much and have no children, I don't own a home or any assets or money, and I never developed any actual career. Other people my age are so removed from where I am in life that I can no longer relate to them. They just feel so far ahead of where I am in life that I feel embarrassed being around them. Not to mention that by my age women typically have children around 18 and getting involved with the mother of a legal adult just freaks me out way too much. I don't mind having a relationship with someone who has children as long as their still little, but I don't want to miss out knowing them when they are little.



Fireblossom
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11 Aug 2021, 10:06 am

dorkseid wrote:
Not to mention that by my age women typically have children around 18 and getting involved with the mother of a legal adult just freaks me out way too much. I don't mind having a relationship with someone who has children as long as their still little, but I don't want to miss out knowing them when they are little.


Where on earth do you live??? Some extremely religious area? In here, the medium age of a woman having her first child is 29,7 years. That means that plenty of women your age would have kids that are 10 years old or younger. Assuming they even have kids. In 2018, the medium age in USA was 26,4. That's the freshest info I could find on USA, but I highly doubt it's dropped. And in Europe as a whole, the average age is around 29, too. In many countries, it's over 30. And seriously, there are a lot of women your age and older who've never married or had children. Maybe not in your area, but if you widen your search a bit, you might be surprised.



dorkseid
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11 Aug 2021, 11:16 am

Fireblossom wrote:
dorkseid wrote:
Not to mention that by my age women typically have children around 18 and getting involved with the mother of a legal adult just freaks me out way too much. I don't mind having a relationship with someone who has children as long as their still little, but I don't want to miss out knowing them when they are little.


Where on earth do you live??? Some extremely religious area? In here, the medium age of a woman having her first child is 29,7 years. That means that plenty of women your age would have kids that are 10 years old or younger. Assuming they even have kids. In 2018, the medium age in USA was 26,4. That's the freshest info I could find on USA, but I highly doubt it's dropped. And in Europe as a whole, the average age is around 29, too. In many countries, it's over 30. And seriously, there are a lot of women your age and older who've never married or had children. Maybe not in your area, but if you widen your search a bit, you might be surprised.


Perhaps. But what good does that do me? If I could afford to get out of the sh!thole I would have done so years ago.