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browneyedgirlslowingdown
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09 Oct 2021, 1:40 am

Velorum wrote:
Sorry to hear that you feel like that.

Perhaps its a case of finding the right kind of connections - a rather obvious thing to say and easier to say than do of course.

When I was younger I think that I felt lonely at times. For me this was more about not knowing myself and imagining that connections were something that they for me are not.

I am closely connected with my two daughters and my grandsons -something that makes the hell of one my marriages tolerable in retrospect. Other than that I neither have nor need anyone else.

Living alone is bliss.


You make a very good point about the kind of connections, I am working on that. I also enjoy living and being on my own, it is quite wonderful. Thank you.


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Your broader autism cluster (Aspie) score: 153 of 200
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browneyedgirlslowingdown
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09 Oct 2021, 1:42 am

Earthbound_Alien wrote:
why is everyone obsessed with connections....

I learned long ago that no one will ever understand me

they don't need too

maybe a little mystery is better


I don't want to be at this point, thinking no one will understand me..any of me ever. I don't believe someone could know me wholly besides myself, but to be understood, in some way, like what's happened here I feel is really valuable to me.


_________________
Diagnosed ASD 5/17/21
AQ 40/50
Your broader autism cluster (Aspie) score: 153 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 50 of 200
You are very likely on the broader autism cluster (Aspie)
Systemising Quotient (SQ) 78
Empathy Quotient (EQ) 41
CAT-Q 156 Compensation 56 Masking 48 Assimilation 52


browneyedgirlslowingdown
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09 Oct 2021, 1:44 am

Jakki wrote:
a hug is offered to browneyedgirl, know what you mean , have similiar experiences .
Often find myself just sharing opinions with others casually in a off hand way. Which allows me
to feel content with the ideas that , i am not completely alone in the universe. Do have a few business type friends in the world , which affords other times to share an opinion with others . Another friend whom do have the very rare occassion to go out to dinner with .


Thank you. I too share my opinions and have the occasional dinner. I like the word you use, content. I am going to think on that for a while.


_________________
Diagnosed ASD 5/17/21
AQ 40/50
Your broader autism cluster (Aspie) score: 153 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 50 of 200
You are very likely on the broader autism cluster (Aspie)
Systemising Quotient (SQ) 78
Empathy Quotient (EQ) 41
CAT-Q 156 Compensation 56 Masking 48 Assimilation 52


browneyedgirlslowingdown
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09 Oct 2021, 1:45 am

Shellbelle wrote:
Yes, I can relate too. This forum has helped take the edge of the lonely feelings for me, but doesn't mean they are all gone.

There are many good people here, and many who can relate, if not connect to you, even if it is from a distance.

I second what the wise Jakki said, and am sending you a hug as well.


It has helped me too, I didn't want to post it, but I am very glad I did. I feel connected. Thank you for responding.


_________________
Diagnosed ASD 5/17/21
AQ 40/50
Your broader autism cluster (Aspie) score: 153 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 50 of 200
You are very likely on the broader autism cluster (Aspie)
Systemising Quotient (SQ) 78
Empathy Quotient (EQ) 41
CAT-Q 156 Compensation 56 Masking 48 Assimilation 52


browneyedgirlslowingdown
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09 Oct 2021, 1:49 am

Earthbound_Alien wrote:
I have spent a life time trying to understand other humans and am still none the wiser

I don't understand the harsh ones because I am soft

a little girl with an intellect....

thats me

the world wants me to be a grown up but I find it too stressful

I won't wear a mask anymore


I can relate to what you are saying here. I feel like maybe I wasn't clear in my initial message. For me, a connection is brought on through understanding or being understood. If I understood someone, even a little I feel connected to them. When I feel like no one is understanding me at all anywhere I can begin to feel lonely.

I try to understand other people, but not to connect just because I find people interesting, like puzzles. Are you sure you're okay without any connections?


_________________
Diagnosed ASD 5/17/21
AQ 40/50
Your broader autism cluster (Aspie) score: 153 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 50 of 200
You are very likely on the broader autism cluster (Aspie)
Systemising Quotient (SQ) 78
Empathy Quotient (EQ) 41
CAT-Q 156 Compensation 56 Masking 48 Assimilation 52


Jakki
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09 Oct 2021, 7:23 am

YAAAAAY for more connections .


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browneyedgirlslowingdown
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09 Oct 2021, 9:58 am

:heart:


_________________
Diagnosed ASD 5/17/21
AQ 40/50
Your broader autism cluster (Aspie) score: 153 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 50 of 200
You are very likely on the broader autism cluster (Aspie)
Systemising Quotient (SQ) 78
Empathy Quotient (EQ) 41
CAT-Q 156 Compensation 56 Masking 48 Assimilation 52


kraftiekortie
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09 Oct 2021, 10:04 am

I like “connections” that aren’t symbiotic and all-encompassing.

I don’t like the idea of being totally entwined by another person.

I like “ways out,” so to speak.

I’m very independent as well. My connections to other people tend to be peripheral, rather than direct.



browneyedgirlslowingdown
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10 Oct 2021, 7:11 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
I like “connections” that aren’t symbiotic and all-encompassing.

I don’t like the idea of being totally entwined by another person.

I like “ways out,” so to speak.

I’m very independent as well. My connections to other people tend to be peripheral, rather than direct.


I agree with everything you wrote here. Your first two sentences are things I tend to run from. I usually start peripheral, and then if there is something more...it gets direct. Very rarely though.


_________________
Diagnosed ASD 5/17/21
AQ 40/50
Your broader autism cluster (Aspie) score: 153 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 50 of 200
You are very likely on the broader autism cluster (Aspie)
Systemising Quotient (SQ) 78
Empathy Quotient (EQ) 41
CAT-Q 156 Compensation 56 Masking 48 Assimilation 52


Jakki
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10 Oct 2021, 7:57 pm

After putting more thought to this connections thread .. had thought this through better.. it really depends on the type of connection. As far as associations go . Now am preferring more casual than intertwining . But it is not how my mind originally programmed itself . Cause all people were humans and I could anticipate basic understandings
And never expected malice. And that had great benefits cause my associations were very limited. And had a unusual ability to intuit things in general ,but mainly in individuals . And preferred only to deal with individuals. (Made for much less intensity or multiples of information inputs) . So intuiting things were quite easy. And did not know what bonding was, but I guess I bonded to people that I could intuit well . Could do it with others if forced to be in close contact with them for extended lengths of time. The bonding was based on positive relationships. After got out of my teens Was much less exceptional at it . (My intuiting abilities .) . but in developing close familiarities was better at it.
it does seem these days people do not appreciate having a relationship , where a person could bounce ideas off each other with a finely turned ability to integrate each other’s meanings . And knowing each other’s points of reference .
That ability gave great comfort to me and seemed to cut down the necessity for masking . I surely miss those people in my life ,As far and few in between associations . They have gone on to make that last great connection in the sky.


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browneyedgirlslowingdown
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13 Oct 2021, 7:12 pm

Jakki wrote:
After putting more thought to this connections thread .. had thought this through better.. it really depends on the type of connection. As far as associations go . Now am preferring more casual than intertwining . But it is not how my mind originally programmed itself . Cause all people were humans and I could anticipate basic understandings
And never expected malice. And that had great benefits cause my associations were very limited. And had a unusual ability to intuit things in general ,but mainly in individuals . And preferred only to deal with individuals. (Made for much less intensity or multiples of information inputs) . So intuiting things were quite easy. And did not know what bonding was, but I guess I bonded to people that I could intuit well . Could do it with others if forced to be in close contact with them for extended lengths of time. The bonding was based on positive relationships. After got out of my teens Was much less exceptional at it . (My intuiting abilities .) . but in developing close familiarities was better at it.
it does seem these days people do not appreciate having a relationship , where a person could bounce ideas off each other with a finely turned ability to integrate each other’s meanings . And knowing each other’s points of reference .
That ability gave great comfort to me and seemed to cut down the necessity for masking . I surely miss those people in my life ,As far and few in between associations . They have gone on to make that last great connection in the sky.


I like how you explained how you connect here. Especially how your described intuiting abilities. I can relate. I tend to have relationships with older people too, or connect easier with them anyways and did so with teens kinda when I was a teen.

If you ever want to try to be friends. I am open to it. You seem to approach friendship in a way I try to.

Also, to everyone else, if you want to be friends I am open to trying.


_________________
Diagnosed ASD 5/17/21
AQ 40/50
Your broader autism cluster (Aspie) score: 153 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 50 of 200
You are very likely on the broader autism cluster (Aspie)
Systemising Quotient (SQ) 78
Empathy Quotient (EQ) 41
CAT-Q 156 Compensation 56 Masking 48 Assimilation 52


Tim_Tex
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13 Oct 2021, 7:14 pm

I am in the same boat as you.

Lonely, nobody in my area with the same interests…

Hugs to you!


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Jakki
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14 Oct 2021, 10:29 am

browneyedgirlslowingdown wrote:
Jakki wrote:
After putting more thought to this connections thread .. had thought this through better.. it really depends on the type of connection. As far as associations go . Now am preferring more casual than intertwining . But it is not how my mind originally programmed itself . Cause all people were humans and I could anticipate basic understandings
And never expected malice. And that had great benefits cause my associations were very limited. And had a unusual ability to intuit things in general ,but mainly in individuals . And preferred only to deal with individuals. (Made for much less intensity or multiples of information inputs) . So intuiting things were quite easy. And did not know what bonding was, but I guess I bonded to people that I could intuit well . Could do it with others if forced to be in close contact with them for extended lengths of time. The bonding was based on positive relationships. After got out of my teens Was much less exceptional at it . (My intuiting abilities .) . but in developing close familiarities was better at it.
it does seem these days people do not appreciate having a relationship , where a person could bounce ideas off each other with a finely turned ability to integrate each other’s meanings . And knowing each other’s points of reference .
That ability gave great comfort to me and seemed to cut down the necessity for masking . I surely miss those people in my life ,As far and few in between associations . They have gone on to make that last great connection in the sky.


I like how you explained how you connect here. Especially how your described intuiting abilities. I can relate. I tend to have relationships with older people too, or connect easier with them anyways and did so with teens kinda when I was a teen.

If you ever want to try to be friends. I am open to it. You seem to approach friendship in a way I try to.

Also, to everyone else, if you want to be friends I am open to trying.


dear browneyedgirl if you wish to pm me , please do . in the interest of friendship. :mrgreen:


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where ever you go ,there you are