I'm thinking of committing suicide

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kraftiekortie
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10 Dec 2021, 4:20 pm

I don't like loud and obnoxious people.

Why would you want to get "loud" if that's not your personality?



Pepe
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10 Dec 2021, 4:21 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
I don't like loud and obnoxious people.

Why would you want to get "loud" if that's not your personality?


Well!
<Pepe walks out in a huff> :mrgreen:


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Joe90
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10 Dec 2021, 5:03 pm

Pepe wrote:
Joe90 wrote:
Although I don't do too badly in social situations, I still think I would have a lot more fun if I drank. Not on a regular basis though, just when I'm socialising in a bar. It's what normal people do, and if I want to be normal then I'll have to do normal things. It's my only cure for my social isolation-related depression.


Who wants to be "normal"? :eew: :mrgreen:


I do.


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10 Dec 2021, 8:10 pm

Joe90 wrote:
Pepe wrote:
Joe90 wrote:
Although I don't do too badly in social situations, I still think I would have a lot more fun if I drank. Not on a regular basis though, just when I'm socialising in a bar. It's what normal people do, and if I want to be normal then I'll have to do normal things. It's my only cure for my social isolation-related depression.


Who wants to be "normal"? :eew: :mrgreen:


I do.


For what purposes? Being on the spectrum is a part of what makes you human.


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Erjoy29
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10 Dec 2021, 10:56 pm

AnonymousAnonymous wrote:
Joe90 wrote:
Pepe wrote:
Joe90 wrote:
Although I don't do too badly in social situations, I still think I would have a lot more fun if I drank. Not on a regular basis though, just when I'm socialising in a bar. It's what normal people do, and if I want to be normal then I'll have to do normal things. It's my only cure for my social isolation-related depression.


Who wants to be "normal"? :eew: :mrgreen:


I do.


For what purposes? Being on the spectrum is a part of what makes you human.

Agreed. I think that if you keep feeling jealous of NT’s, it’s just going to keep hurting you more. The jealousy will keep hurting you. Why give yourself more hurt than needed? I think at some point you need to think differently about being on the spectrum. It could really provide a lot of relief to you. I don’t know what kind of thinking that is, but it is both similar and unique to every aspie. But it’s a truth we face in ourselves and we learn to embrace and love it and work with it and do better in our future than ever before. I still struggle too but it’s always important to have as many helpful perspectives as possible.



WeirdMetronome
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11 Dec 2021, 3:57 am

Joe90 wrote:
Yes, that's exactly the plan. I don't mean getting really drunk to the point where I don't remember anything, because that's no good for anyone and I am a responsible person. But I just mean having enough drinks to make me come out of my shell and be louder, just like my socially awkward cousin. She's a quiet, shy person, but when she's had a few drinks she becomes loud.


Being loud doesn't mean people will like you more lol, I feel like loud people are just obnoxious and I actively avoid them. :\

Even if they do like you, you then have a bunch of people who like you only when you are drunk.... not for who you really are.

Honestly, it doesn't sound like a great idea.

Erjoy29 wrote:
Agreed. I think that if you keep feeling jealous of NT’s, it’s just going to keep hurting you more. The jealousy will keep hurting you. Why give yourself more hurt than needed? I think at some point you need to think differently about being on the spectrum. It could really provide a lot of relief to you. I don’t know what kind of thinking that is, but it is both similar and unique to every aspie. But it’s a truth we face in ourselves and we learn to embrace and love it and work with it and do better in our future than ever before. I still struggle too but it’s always important to have as many helpful perspectives as possible.


^ This seems like a far healthier approach to the problem.



Joe90
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11 Dec 2021, 6:53 am

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Being loud doesn't mean people will like you more lol, I feel like loud people are just obnoxious and I actively avoid them. :\

It does, believe me. It's not just about being loud, it's the fact that you drink. Where I come from (and I think it's a UK thing) drinking alcohol is valued and if you're drinking in a bar with others then you are conforming to social standards. It's just something adults do and it's one way to fit in. Standing around drinking with an alcoholic drink in your hand is highly valued by most NT people.

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Even if they do like you, you then have a bunch of people who like you only when you are drunk.... not for who you really are.

It's an irrational psychological trick. Say for examle you go on a night out and you unexpectedly see a work colleague there. They've never really spoken to you at work but they thought you were hilarious when you had too many drinks and got up on the stage in front of everyone and started singing and dancing with the DJ or whoever was hosting the party (something you would never do if you wasn't drunk). The next time you see each other at work (when you're 100% sober) they're like ''you were so funny the other night, we'll have to get together some time, here do you want my number?'' And then you've unwillingly made a friend, and they probably didn't think ''oh she's only fun and exciting because she was drinking, so I'm not going to be friends with her otherwise''. They just thought ''wow, you're so fun and exciting, I want to be friends with you.'' Ten years later you could still be friends. Drinking alcohol just seems to be the key to make friends. I know other Aspies who have more of a social life than me because they drink. If they were teetotal like me they'd probably be just as socially isolated as me.


You know how a lot of people these days feel they were born the wrong gender and are unhappy and want to be the opposite sex because they feel that's what they were meant to be? Well I feel exactly the same with my ASD. I feel I was born the wrong neurology and I'm unhappy and want to be in the majority because it's what I was meant to be. I feel I'm NT underneath and this ASD was only caused by the MMR vaccine and I feel trapped and unhappy. Having ASD but having normal NT desires too is very frustrating and can lead people to become suicidal especially when they say there's no cure for autism. I thought there'd be a cure for folk like myself though because I'm not that severe. Could a lobotomy make me more socially skilled? Couldn't someone take a piece of a really extroverted NT's brain and put it to my brain? Then I'll be able to make more friends without having to do anything.


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kraftiekortie
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11 Dec 2021, 8:35 am

Most people have to “do something” in order to make friends. It’s not automatic—unless you’re a child.

People don’t generally share their struggles—so you assume NTs have a honky-dory life because they are “normal.” The rate of drug addiction, alcoholism, and chronic disease makes it obvious to me that some NTs struggle just as much, or more, than some people with ASD.

The MMR vaccine didn’t cause you to become Aspergian or whatever. If it did, you would have been autistic from the time you were a very young infant.

I hope there comes a day when you realize “being normal” isn’t what it’s cracked up to be. Your fiancé must dig the fact that you’re not “normal.” Maybe he’s tired of “normal” people, like I’m tired of “normal” people.



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11 Dec 2021, 9:40 am

Joe90 wrote:
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Being loud doesn't mean people will like you more lol, I feel like loud people are just obnoxious and I actively avoid them. :\

It does, believe me. It's not just about being loud, it's the fact that you drink. Where I come from (and I think it's a UK thing) drinking alcohol is valued and if you're drinking in a bar with others then you are conforming to social standards. It's just something adults do and it's one way to fit in. Standing around drinking with an alcoholic drink in your hand is highly valued by most NT people.

Quote:
Even if they do like you, you then have a bunch of people who like you only when you are drunk.... not for who you really are.

It's an irrational psychological trick. Say for examle you go on a night out and you unexpectedly see a work colleague there. They've never really spoken to you at work but they thought you were hilarious when you had too many drinks and got up on the stage in front of everyone and started singing and dancing with the DJ or whoever was hosting the party (something you would never do if you wasn't drunk). The next time you see each other at work (when you're 100% sober) they're like ''you were so funny the other night, we'll have to get together some time, here do you want my number?'' And then you've unwillingly made a friend, and they probably didn't think ''oh she's only fun and exciting because she was drinking, so I'm not going to be friends with her otherwise''. They just thought ''wow, you're so fun and exciting, I want to be friends with you.'' Ten years later you could still be friends. Drinking alcohol just seems to be the key to make friends. I know other Aspies who have more of a social life than me because they drink. If they were teetotal like me they'd probably be just as socially isolated as me.


You know how a lot of people these days feel they were born the wrong gender and are unhappy and want to be the opposite sex because they feel that's what they were meant to be? Well I feel exactly the same with my ASD. I feel I was born the wrong neurology and I'm unhappy and want to be in the majority because it's what I was meant to be. I feel I'm NT underneath and this ASD was only caused by the MMR vaccine and I feel trapped and unhappy. Having ASD but having normal NT desires too is very frustrating and can lead people to become suicidal especially when they say there's no cure for autism. I thought there'd be a cure for folk like myself though because I'm not that severe. Could a lobotomy make me more socially skilled? Couldn't someone take a piece of a really extroverted NT's brain and put it to my brain? Then I'll be able to make more friends without having to do anything.


The trouble with talking to tee totalers and recovering alcoholics is that they are always going to persuade you not to drink alcohol.

Drinking alcohol is very socially acceptable in the UK and you are right when you say it is a social norm as well. You are a very astute woman Joe and as long as you are happy to drink alcohol and you do it in a socially accepted way then you will not come to any harm.

I can see where people's concerns are though because I had a drug and alcohol problem for many years but it doesn't mean to say that because I had a problem then everyone else will. You just have to know your limits.



kraftiekortie
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11 Dec 2021, 9:48 am

I agree that it depends upon the person.

Some people could drink to moderation for years, and get no ill-effects from it. I’ve known people like that.

But drinking for “social acceptance” might lead one down a wrong path.



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11 Dec 2021, 11:39 am

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Most people have to “do something” in order to make friends. It’s not automatic—unless you’re a child.

I think it's the way some people on WP portray NTs, they say social skills are like breathing to NTs and that a 7-month-old baby has more social skills than an autistic adult and so on.

Usually this scenario comes up where I can be friendly, witty, and feel a connection to, say, a female work colleague my age, but then a new woman our age could start and they both become friends in one day and do things outside of work with each other. It seems no matter how many social qualities I display that you need when making friends, an NT could have less and even be unlikeable but still get invited out and included in the group. It hurts to no end.

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The MMR vaccine didn’t cause you to become Aspergian or whatever. If it did, you would have been autistic from the time you were a very young infant.

I don't know how quick a vaccine turns you into a different person. Does it take hours? Days? Months? Years?

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I hope there comes a day when you realize “being normal” isn’t what it’s cracked up to be. Your fiancé must dig the fact that you’re not “normal.” Maybe he’s tired of “normal” people, like I’m tired of “normal” people.

My boyfriend calls me normal, but he's the sort to believe that the only people who aren't normal are paedophiles and murderers and rapists, people like that. I'd feel happier if this was true, but people on WP doubt this and believe that only autistic people are abnormal. It makes it sound so isolating.


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11 Dec 2021, 11:48 am

Joe90 wrote:
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The MMR vaccine didn’t cause you to become Aspergian or whatever. If it did, you would have been autistic from the time you were a very young infant.

I don't know how quick a vaccine turns you into a different person. Does it take hours? Days? Months? Years?


They don't at all, even if people peddling disinformation try to insist otherwise.

Joe90 wrote:
Quote:
I hope there comes a day when you realize “being normal” isn’t what it’s cracked up to be. Your fiancé must dig the fact that you’re not “normal.” Maybe he’s tired of “normal” people, like I’m tired of “normal” people.

My boyfriend calls me normal, but he's the sort to believe that the only people who aren't normal are paedophiles and murderers and rapists, people like that. I'd feel happier if this was true, but people on WP doubt this and believe that only autistic people are abnormal. It makes it sound so isolating.


How normal is defined can vary depending on what exactly is being discussed. Most people who can be viewed as abnormal from one angle are perfectly normal from other angles, including people with autism and including the different examples of evil types of people.

Normal is poorly defined and usually context dependent, which is to say the definition usually changes depending on who you're talking to and what you're talking about and they'll just assume you know what they mean based on that.


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kraftiekortie
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11 Dec 2021, 11:50 am

Your boyfriend hit it right on the head. It’s all relative. What’s normal to one person might be totally bonkers to another person.

I understand you want to make friends, and are sad that you have difficulty doing so. But don’t sacrifice your principles just to make friends.



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11 Dec 2021, 12:07 pm

I grew up around so called "NT" people who were in no way at all "Normal".



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11 Dec 2021, 5:12 pm

Smoking weed has become a thing in my family now, even though my family aren't really the "druggie" type. My cousin's partner is a weed addict and now everyone who goes round to their house ends up smoking it even if they never have before. I didn't want to be a boring goodie-two-shoes so I've had a puff once or twice, although I didn't really have much effects, it just made me super hungry even though I just ate. I had to do it because I'm already the only person in the world who has never had piercings, tattoos or dyed my hair. I'm the biggest wimp but at least I can say I gave into peer pressure at least once in my life.


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kraftiekortie
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11 Dec 2021, 5:26 pm

I inhaled weed once, when I was 18. It made me have a coughing spasm.

Very soon afterwards, some guy sexually abused me. The guy gave me the weed.