Dumped by a friend. Again.

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KitLily
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12 Nov 2022, 7:38 am

Erjoy29 wrote:
I relate a hundo percent. This has been happening to me lately too. A couple friends I been with 10-15+ years. I’m like, okay, I don’t want to be friends either if I’m not valued anymore. If I’m rejected, I’m very quick to reject back.


I'm the same: if I'm rejected, I reject back instantly. This is because I've been rejected a lot in life and don't want to upset myself by pining over people.

I think humans are just becoming less tolerant. As people have said on WP, there is now such a huge pool of potential friends due to social media, that people don't want to waste a single second on anyone they have the slightest disagreement with, so they move on. It's made worse by the instant block function on social media- no discussion, no compromise, no 'talking it over.' Just BLOCK! And it happens in real life now too due to that.

This is now happening so fast that people are judging others at first impression and giving no second chance.

It is not healthy.


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KitLily
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12 Nov 2022, 7:40 am

Aspiegaming wrote:
I lose friends over stupid reasons.

I lost a friend because I wouldn't buy Borderlands 3 when it was Epic exclusive. I had good reasons to wait for the Steam version, but he called me toxic and left. I taught him how to play the series and he treats me like **** in return telling me how much I suck at the games. We got along so well when only played Serious Sam Fusion.

I lost another friend we noticed one of my Steam groups Extreme Violent Minds and he assumed it was a haven for psychos who to accelerate and exploit violence in the real world. Nobody asks questions anymore. They just assume and accuse. It was for people who like competitive deathmatch or going all out on hordes of enemies.


See my reply to Erjoy29 above:

People reject others instantly now days due to social media. It's not healthy, there is no compromise anymore. As you say: they assume and accuse now instead of asking questions.


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Summer_Twilight
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14 Nov 2022, 1:21 pm

When I got dumped by my childhood friend, it was not due to social media. It was because she discovered that we were just two different people and were not getting along anymore.

When I got dumped by that couple at my synagogue, it was because the husband discovered that I wasn't going to let him control me. Not only that, it was because he was possessive of his wife and was jealous of her having friends. He also dumped me for silly religious reasons.

I got dumped by a co-worker who pretended to be my friend when she wasn't to begin with.

None of those had anything to do with social media

I have also been dumped by people because others told them things about me that there not true and they didn't even come and confirm with me,

I have also been dumped by someone because I wasn't geeky enough in his eyes along with being too hyper.



KitLily
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17 Nov 2022, 4:49 am

What I'm saying is that now there is such a huge pool of available friends that people feel secure enough to dump friends, knowing there will be loads more along soon. So the mindset now is:

I'm not getting along with that person INSTANT BLOCK.

Whether in real life or online. No compromise.

Probably also because the human race is now at 8 billion, there is so much choice available. The human population graph is like a backwards L now. I hope you can see the graph on this site, it's scary. Nothing nothing nothing nothing BOOM!

https://ourworldindata.org/world-population-growth

I have given up on trying to make friends in real life. I can't compete with all the normies, I'm too weird. So I'll stick to being a loner.

Sorry all those people dumped you Summer Twilight. I hope you feel better off without them :)


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KitLily
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22 Nov 2022, 11:00 am

So this friend forgot/didn't celebrate my birthday. For the last 4 years we've been out for lunch to celebrate my birthday, she has given me a card and gift and made a fuss of me. She is very conscientious about her friends' birthdays.

This year, nothing. So that is that :roll: I'm moving on from her. It's very strange indeed.

My other friend did remember my birthday and made a fuss of me, she was astounded that I'd thought she was upset or annoyed with me.

The end of the friendship with the first friend will always remain a mystery then! C'est la vie.

I am exhausted by chasing after friends. I make such an effort- trying not to overwhelm them with texts but making sure I remember to ask after them every so often. Making sure I don't act too weird or go off on a monologue. Taking turns speaking and not hogging the conversation.

I've tried to make friends with so many people so when I think I've found one friend, it hurts when they dump me.

But I'm done now, after so many years. I'm done chasing after friends. I will be my own friend, and do things on my own. I'm avoiding friends now.


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I am here for interesting, meaningful discussions and thoughtful, rewarding conversations. I very quickly lose interest in long, drawn-out arguments.
***
I'm sorry if I get you mixed up with other people, I'm not good at telling people apart. Just remind me of our last conversation then I'll know who you are.