Why Shouldn't I Just Kill Myself?

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klanka
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10 Aug 2022, 7:45 am

I'm no expert on how to get a girlfriend etc. but just wait and see if your situation improves. Do you have a job?



Twilightprincess
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10 Aug 2022, 8:18 am

Have you talked to your doctor about your symptoms? He might want to up or switch your medication.

Suicidal ideation is a pretty big deal.


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Nades
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10 Aug 2022, 10:26 am

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
Nades wrote:
The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
Nades wrote:
What's the absolute minimum in regards to a female companionship you would grudgingly accept?

How do you mean?


You said you wanted a full relationship but is there any lesser involvement with women you will still find rewarding but might be easier to obtain?

Having pretty much any kind of romantic connection where there is genuine reciprocated interest would significantly improve my mental health and well-being.


If anything will do then eventually it'll come along. You should try dating sites again if you haven't, sending enough messages off will eventually end up yielding something. Even if it takes thousands.



Jakki
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10 Aug 2022, 10:48 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
I think you should go to University.

Try to take courses again. Forget about the pursuit of women. You might meet someone there.

Women don’t lose their charm after the age of 30.


EEErrrr... uhmmm...! this would have been a grand post, except for that last line . grump grump ... :evil:


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Jakki
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10 Aug 2022, 10:54 am

Please do not kill yourself . If nothing else would miss seeing your posts here.

Sometimes a good friendship can turn into a more romantic one . Sometimes proving your value as a friend to each other ,may lead to other more fun interactions. You have to consider what each others idea of fun
might be.? l 8O


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The Grand Inquisitor
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10 Aug 2022, 6:20 pm

klanka wrote:
I'm no expert on how to get a girlfriend etc. but just wait and see if your situation improves. Do you have a job?

I've been waiting 14 years. Why should I expect anything to change now?

Twilightprincess wrote:
Have you talked to your doctor about your symptoms? He might want to up or switch your medication.

Suicidal ideation is a pretty big deal.

Upping or changing my medication isn't going to change the fact that I'm feeling suicidal. It never has when I've tried it before, and it doesn't make sense to me how it would go about achieving that.

Like I said, this is really an existential crisis. The suicidal ideation comes from the apparent hopelessness of my situation. The situation seems hopeless because there is nothing I can do to move towards a life I'm content with if getting to experience romantic intimacy is outside of my control.

Medication doesn't stop the hormones coursing through my body that are demanding that I satisfy my very human desires to be with a woman. It doesn't stop the passage of time robbing me of the opportunity to experience romance in my youth. It doesn't stop the influx of reminders and triggers that evoke very negative feelings within me in a world where relationships are a prominent part of life.



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10 Aug 2022, 6:23 pm

Jakki wrote:
Please do not kill yourself . If nothing else would miss seeing your posts here.

Sometimes a good friendship can turn into a more romantic one . Sometimes proving your value as a friend to each other ,may lead to other more fun interactions. You have to consider what each others idea of fun
might be.? l 8O

I appreciate that you'd miss my posts, but I'm not going to stick around just for other people if I can't enjoy my life.

I dont have a very easy time making friends either. I pretty much have no social circle at the moment, and I certainly don't have any female friends.



funeralxempire
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10 Aug 2022, 6:25 pm

These sorts of existential questions can't really be answered by others.

Mostly one needs to ask themselves, except for the impacts on others types of answers, why do they endure in spite of the costs?


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10 Aug 2022, 9:26 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
These sorts of existential questions can't really be answered by others.

Mostly one needs to ask themselves, except for the impacts on others types of answers, why do they endure in spite of the costs?

The answer is hope that things will get better, but it's looking less and less like that's going to happen with each passing year, and my hope is dwindling rapidly. I can't live like this endlessly.



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11 Aug 2022, 6:14 pm

cyberdad wrote:
try again as you might get somebody more caring/willing to listen

I've tried beyondblue a fair few times now. I called them last night.

It generally goes the same way. The person makes me feel heard but can't offer any solutions to my problem, so I ultimately don't end up feeling any better. In fact, often times I leave the call feeling more hopeless because the counsellor's inability to help me makes me feel like there's no help out there for me, which unfortunately seems to be the case.
Nades wrote:
If anything will do then eventually it'll come along. You should try dating sites again if you haven't, sending enough messages off will eventually end up yielding something. Even if it takes thousands.

After what I've already been through, I don't have the resilience to cope with thousands of rejections, or even hundreds. Moreover, I don't have any good pictures to use for a dating profile, and I don't know how to go about getting some.



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11 Aug 2022, 6:24 pm

I didn't want it to come to this, but I think I'm going to have to come up with a plan to end my life. It's a hard thing to do, and it's an outcome nobody wants, but I'm fed up with feeling the way I feel and having the dating issues I have.

I've been on this website for 7 years now. My dating struggles were what made me seek it out then, and the only difference between my struggles then and my struggles now is that I'm 7 years older and more jaded and depressed. I'm so sick of no progress, no hope, being expected to trudge on like everything's fine and dandy when I'm encountering gut-wrenching feelings all the time. I despise being in this situation, and despite my attempts to find some hope to grab onto, it seems like the only way out of it is suicide.

Thank you all for your support, but I think this is a lost cause. I don't want to live to be 30 and still be in the same situation, so I'd best start at least planning my death now.



kraftiekortie
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11 Aug 2022, 6:41 pm

Many, many things can happen in 4 years' time.....



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12 Aug 2022, 12:46 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
Many, many things can happen in 4 years' time.....

Sure, but I don't see why I should think that me finally getting a girlfriend after all this time is likely to be one of them.

It didn't happen within the last 4 years, or the 4 years before that, or the 4 years before that.

I have pretty much no opportunities to meet women my age.

I'm probably too desperate for a relationship and validation for most sane women to not be turned off.

My confidence is practically non-existent as it relates to attracting and approaching women.

I'm only getting worse-looking as I'm getting older.

With my receding hairline, I'll probably be bald well before I'm 30.

I'm fragile when it comes to rejection.

I have ED.

I'm looking for reasons to justify being optimistic about the future, but I'm not finding them. If anything, my chances seem like they're only getting worse. Why would a woman want to date me given that I'm so lonely and desperate for a relationship that it's making me suicidal?

I'm not in a position where it is reasonable to expect that things will improve on their own with time. I'm in a position where I can really only pray for a miracle or give up and kill myself.



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12 Aug 2022, 1:03 am

It is a question I have every day almost, but well I have more of a desire to stick around to see what happens than not. Even if life can be miserable, I want to see what happens next as long as I can.


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12 Aug 2022, 1:21 am

Things rarely get better on their own, time or not. The only way things move on or change things is to do something. One has to change what one does or how one does it. Rarely can one sit around & things just get better.

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
I'm not in a position where it is reasonable to expect that things will improve on their own with time. I'm in a position where I can really only pray for a miracle or give up and kill myself.



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12 Aug 2022, 1:24 am

Blue_Star wrote:
Things rarely get better on their own, time or not. The only way things move on or change things is to do something. One has to change what one does or how one does it. Rarely can one sit around & things just get better.

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
I'm not in a position where it is reasonable to expect that things will improve on their own with time. I'm in a position where I can really only pray for a miracle or give up and kill myself.

Well I also don't have a way to make things better