Post something that made you UNHAPPY today.

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A living without something to devote myself into.

...

Too stressed and distracted to actually choose a commitment.
Or perhaps not -- too immature to sacrifice and that's just an excuse.


Basically, having no special interests.
That cannot be willed. And nothing came onto me. At least no longer did.

Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).

The heat made me unhappy and WP isn't nearly as populated as it was 10 years ago.

Heat, humidity, cicadas. AKA summer in Kansas.

I detest feeling even remotely damp, and the cicadas are very hard on my ears, harsh and loud.

The mandarin orange wasn't tart enough.

That I'm terrible at not being able to maintain consistent email communication with the small number of people on my contact list.

The teenagers in my driver's education class wouldn't stop talking and being loud which was giving me sensory overload. Now I remember why I hated being in school.

today i woke up in the middle of the night and ate. (emotional overeating).

a phone interview dialed my number and i tried to answer but it was like (dropped call). otherwise i pushed the wrong button and feel stupid and ashamed. i tried to call back, but it wasn't happening. but i did not call back after that, because i was afraid that they would tell the 911 that i made a prank call.

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for the first time in my "life", my sister took me shopping for rags. i wasted about $350 bucks. i only earn minimum wage. my sister earns a lot more cash than me. she did not pay for it. however, she did drive. i haven't gone rags shopping since before june 2019 (exception: three pairs of shoes).

my sister also had the nerve to defend the day laborers that were screaming "chino" at me.

I’m disgruntled about my life and the world, one disaster after a freaking nother I don’t know what I’m gonna do with all this rage. I don’t want to do anything I’ll regret so I’m trying to find ways to release my combination of sadness and fury

The Care Bear Cousins Lotsa Heart Elephant plush I ordered on Ebay arrived and it's much smaller than the seller said it was. I ended up giving them a negative review and then sent them a message. They replied saying if I had contacted them before sending them a negative review they could have worked something out and that it was an "honest" mistake. I guess I'm going to have to live with my mistake then, spending way too much for a stuffed animal that's only eight inches when they said it was 13 inches. Don't trust online sellers when they say how big something is supposed to be. They really don't know how to measure things.

I've felt like s**t and my heart has been racing all day.

And another thing on my misfortune list, my Dad was diagnosed with Covid today and I was with him all day yesterday, and I’m probably going to catch it and die. As one of my OC says “ugh! Why does life have to be so unfair!” Only this time I actually asked my own self for once

I'm always being second guessed, since I don't take the first cause of a problem.

The apple was a lot less sour than expected.

One of those bad evenings for medical stuff and my mother. It's been good there for some months now. Oh well. I was called a guardian angel this time, which is a nice one, and I guess that'd be because I was standing behind her making sure she didn't fall. A somber aftermath for me. No tears this time.

Me, as usual.