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magz
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07 Oct 2022, 6:11 am

Because it's an awful tabloid.

Why is Mona Lisa smiling?


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DuckHairback
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07 Oct 2022, 6:15 am

She isn't. She's desperately trying to hold in a fart.

Why is the Cavalier laughing?


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Naturally occurring variant. Swollen oafish and wince positive.


naturalplastic
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07 Oct 2022, 7:30 am

Theyre embarrassed to be beets.

Why do both hurricanes, and potatoes, have eyes?



Radish
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07 Oct 2022, 8:01 am

All the better to watch you before they pounce and devour you.

Why is it raining in my house?


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Matrix Glitch
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07 Oct 2022, 8:13 am

That's not rain, it's cockroachs peeing on you.

What's the best way to prevent body odor?



magz
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07 Oct 2022, 8:23 am

Cremate the body.

What should I remember when preparing for a robot apocalypse?


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Where_am_I
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02 Nov 2022, 1:51 pm

WD-40.

Should I stay or should I go (not WP related :P )?


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Radish
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02 Nov 2022, 1:53 pm

Seek a surgeon who will cut you into two then you can both stay and go.

Should I launch a thermonuclear raspberry at Putin?


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Aspieangeldude
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21 Nov 2022, 9:18 am

If so then he’ll become raspberry-puddin that will be the best food invention

What would happen if someone destroyed the Hoover Dam


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Radish
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21 Nov 2022, 10:11 am

A lot of people would exclaim "Dam" and their vacuum cleaners would cease to work.

When will it stop raining?


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Aspiegaming
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21 Nov 2022, 6:51 pm

When the clouds man up and stop crying.

Why do pigs enjoy eating bacon?


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Radish
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22 Nov 2022, 11:24 am

It is a quick and easy snack along with doughnuts, while officers are out on patrol.

Why does it get dark every day?


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magz
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24 Nov 2022, 4:26 am

Because you drink methanol every day.
Stop it.

Why do humans have feelings?


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blitzkrieg
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24 Nov 2022, 9:50 pm

magz wrote:
Because you drink methanol every day.
Stop it.

Why do humans have feelings?


Because in general, humans are here on Earth to reach their 37th birthday, at which time they are ritually burnt by their townsfolk on a bonfire. If humans did not have feelings, they would not appreciate the fear and pain of being burnt on a bonfire.

How fast does a typical bullet from a semi-automatic pistol travel at?



Radish
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25 Nov 2022, 3:49 pm

Here's a stopwatch. We are ten metres apart. Start it when I pull the trigger and stop it when the bullet lands between your eyes. :P

Why is there a goldfish swimming down the street?


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Edna3362
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25 Nov 2022, 7:15 pm

It swims on lava. Yes, the street is still lava -- a still unformed land that happened to look like solid asphalt.

Why does this skull :skull: have red eyes?


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