Will having a partner and children make me content with life

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chris1989
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21 May 2022, 5:11 pm

?

Having seen my sister (28) with a son with her partner (31) and seeing other people I suspect are in that age group especially people I knew or recognised from school having families of their own does make me feel like someone who hasn't caught up with that milestone and that it feels as though if you haven't reached a stage like that in life then perhaps you'll never do it and it makes me look like the only one even though a part of me knows I'm not but I can't help it sometimes. I don't know if I was to have a partner now and have a child now that it would fulfill contentment in life or that it would make me any more satisfied because it would feel like I'm rushing into a relationship to have a family because I feel that society expects it and that its because of trying to compare life to others as a way to catch up with them and be in the same boat as them.



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21 May 2022, 6:17 pm

I was married with one child. I would say yes. My wife emotionally abused me, but it was under the radar for the first few years. When I didn't realise what was going on I felt content.

Then I met someone else, we spent all day together, I felt content then too. Now I'm single it doesn't feel good.

If I were you I would go the mail order bride route, as others have done here. But you need to know red flags.



Joe90
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21 May 2022, 6:19 pm

I always knew I'll be content with having a boyfriend and living with him, even though he likes to drink and gets aggressive sometimes, he's still sober more times than not so I'm very content during those times.

I wouldn't want to be single again. When I was single I kept getting myself involved with intense obsessions with men that got me or them into trouble.


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shortfatbalduglyman
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21 May 2022, 6:33 pm

Partners and children make some people more content

Partners and children make some people less content

Eight billion people in the solar system

They are not all the same

Some partners, domestic violence, or otherwise negative

Nobody is perfect

Some children are not worth the energy it takes to interact with them

Cost benefit analysis

Unsatisfied couples could get divorced

Once you have children, it's for as long as you are both alive

Children require time, cash, and energy

I am 39 and zero children and don't want any

Not everyone has a partner or children



klanka
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22 May 2022, 2:30 am

I do have to talk about the other side of the coin as well.
If you are with a bad partner its worse than being single.
If they are unfaithful or being controlling. They could be shouting at you regularly.



temp1234
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22 May 2022, 4:38 am

Desperate men often end up blindly marrying a horrible woman and suffering the consequences. Often financially and sometimes even falsely getting accused of abusing her because the woman only wants the money and divorce (plus residency in a developed country if she's a foreigner). What's worse is that the law is on the woman's side.

I know multiple men who got that. As soon as the foreign woman gets the permanent residency here, she changes her attitude and tries to divorce, even falsely accusing the man of violence. Such women only wants the money and permanent residency right from the beginning.

So I would say you should only get married and have children if it happens just naturally without you making too much effort. Desperation will make you blind.

I've always been happy to be single and only been in relationships when it happened naturally. I never lost good judgement because I was never desperate.



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22 May 2022, 7:11 pm

I never really felt content exactly but the times in my life when I felt happiest were all times I was in a romantic relationship. That's the reason I MAJORLY HATED being single after me & my 1st girlfriend broke up. While that relationship & my 2nd made me very happy in the beginning, things rapidly turned sour partly cuz of my screwed-up mental health. I was NOT in a good place nor capable of making those relationships last. I was very depressed & unstable when my 1st relationship ended but I was about ready to get myself killed &/or others before I got in that relationship. The reason I got in that relationship was because she became my best friend & was the one person I had ever really connected with & related to. Her being there for me as my friend saved my life in a way. I tried to learn from that relationship as well as my 2nd & I'm using that knowledge & experience to be a better person within my current relationship. Overall I am alot happier within my current relationship than when I was single but some of that is because I am not the same exact person I was within my two previous 1s. I am a bit more independent but some(or maybe a lot of that) is because my environment & living situation are very different than when I lived with my parents. I felt trapped living with them & my mom was very critical. I did not have any viable alternative places I could stay instead of living with my parents. Plus even if I had my own place I would not be able to handle living alone so I woulda taken in a woman who needed a place to stay.


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22 May 2022, 8:07 pm

Quote:
Will having a partner and children make me content with life?


:chin:
No. 8)


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22 May 2022, 8:55 pm

A partner and family will make you feel content only if that is what you actually want and noone can tell you that but yourself.

Start at the beginning. Meet potential partners and see if that makes you happy. You are not obligated to marry someone just because you have been dating them for awhile. There is no master plan. There are plenty of people that take decades until they feel ready to live with a partner. Ulitmately its all a crapshoot if you ask me - good luck.



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22 May 2022, 9:01 pm

You shouldn't start a family unless you genuinely want to, it takes a lot to be a parent from what I understand and it's not for everyone. I will say having a partner does make me more content, but having kids would not. We may get a pet cat at some point but yeah neither of us want to raise a child or deal with all the crying babies do.


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22 May 2022, 9:50 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
You shouldn't start a family unless you genuinely want to, it takes a lot to be a parent from what I understand and it's not for everyone. I will say having a partner does make me more content, but having kids would not. We may get a pet cat at some point but yeah neither of us want to raise a child or deal with all the crying babies do.


Besides, it is evil to bring a child into the world. 8)


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Laughter is the best medicine. Age-appropriate behaviour is an arbitrary NT social construct.
Don't tell me white lies. Gaslight me at your peril. Don't give me your bad attitude. Hypnosis, psychosis. Tomarto, tomayto. There are *4* lights. Honey badger.
If I'm so bad, pass me by. ;)


And one more thing,



Also, as George Carlin said, "I have no stake in the outcome." I'll stick around for the comedy.

"A stranger is a friend gang-stalker you haven't met yet."
Truth may be inconvenient but it is never politically incorrect...The Oracle of Truth has spoken...8)
Read my lips:-I am not a fan of the orange man.-I would never vote for the Republican party given the chance.-I am interested in being objective and rational.


nick007
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23 May 2022, 9:49 am

beady wrote:
A partner and family will make you feel content only if that is what you actually want and noone can tell you that but yourself.

Start at the beginning. Meet potential partners and see if that makes you happy. You are not obligated to marry someone just because you have been dating them for awhile. There is no master plan. There are plenty of people that take decades until they feel ready to live with a partner. Ulitmately its all a crapshoot if you ask me - good luck.
Good point. I didn't have much desire for a romantic relationship until I stumbled into my 1st one at 20. There's been plenty of times in life where I wanted something until I've experienced it for a bit or I was against something until I've experienced it so my own judgement & expectations can sometimes be very wrong. Having a romantic relationship &/or kids is a major change & it can help to kinda test the waters & take things slow till we've gotten some experience to make a more informed decision before committing to anything. In my experience I'm much happier after I'm in a romantic relationship for a bit than I ever was trying to meet romantic partners. Putting myself out there, majorly trying to get a partner & failing miserably, & getting used to em & them getting used to me; are some of my biggest relationship struggles but that's just me.


Pepe wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
You shouldn't start a family unless you genuinely want to, it takes a lot to be a parent from what I understand and it's not for everyone. I will say having a partner does make me more content, but having kids would not. We may get a pet cat at some point but yeah neither of us want to raise a child or deal with all the crying babies do.


Besides, it is evil to bring a child into the world. 8)
I think I see what you mean Pepe :wink: The word is extremely overly populated & us humans do have a tendency to majorly harm our planet & each other :(
I never wanted to be a parent. I have enough issues to deal with & I know I am NOT responsible enough to deal with raising a kid. This may sound messed up but I do feel like a parent some with my romantic partners. I'm very protective of romantic partners. Plus my 1st two girlfriends were a lot younger than me & my 1st & current have their own issues they were/are dealing with. I'm sure my current feel like a parent with me sometimes as well. That & having pets is enough for me.


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