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kraftiekortie
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16 Sep 2021, 1:00 pm

I have observed that people with long hair, especially women, like to play with their hair-----especially make circlets with it. I don't see too many men doing it. I have medium-short hair, but I do it sometimes, too. I don't think of that as a "stim" because it doesn't give me pleasure, and it doesn't upset me if I have to stop.

If you pull at your hair to the point where you actually pull OUT your hair, then it can be problematic, in my opinion.

I would do many little fidgets and throat clearings as a kid. Especially with the throat clearings, it upset me that I had to restrain myself. It was deemed inappropriate to fidget a lot within all contexts. You had to "keep it to yourself."

Where do you get the excruciating pain? Is this related to your hair?

There's no "right or wrong"---especially since I don't see you in "action."

Do you get a euphoric feeling when you stim? Sometimes, I do.



OccasionalSeagull
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Age: 29
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16 Sep 2021, 2:47 pm

Ah, my mistake I've been unclear. Sorry! The hair thing is not a stim I don't believe, but rather an OCD symptom.
The hair pulling is a full-body, obsessive, all-encompassing... thing. Its unrelated to my stim question except for im wondering if the same kind of painful (physical and mental), constricting, agonizing obsession is similar to stims.

Do people who are forced to curb their stims find themselves obsessing over it? Do they find their body moving on its own to do it anyway? The longer they go without do they find themselves feeling worse and sometimes spiral into illogical emotional pitfalls? Is it a sickening mixture of shame, pain, relief, and "you deserve every bit of misery because you are this way"? How much of this is just me? Are there others? To what degree?

I find relating, even if they're not LITERALLY translatable by definition but more by experience, helps me understand others and myself a bit easier.

The hair pulling is textbook trichotillomania and I've made peace with it, medication has taken the edge off enough that behavioral therapy techniques and avoidance (haircuts and the like) prevent me from harming myself further.

Im really here trying to learn what of my 'quirks' could be stims, fidgets, or just normal human abnormalities.
The difference I've noticed from most others here is I have a quirk where I completely freeze when uncomfortable instead of bouncing more. Thats half trained and half natural- my brain completely freezes but my body will want to do any number of odd ticks or bits to 'relieve pressure', but I know better than to draw attention to myself so my only choice is to suffer and wait for a time when it's OK to lose it.

I dont doubt you at all that its not a stim- im here to learn not for validation. Not yet anyway. We'll see what the doctor says. Worst case scenario I've learned about other people and their experiences and viewpoints. :heart:


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HeroOfHyrule
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16 Sep 2021, 2:53 pm

OccasionalSeagull wrote:
JoeRose wrote:
I'm just about becoming acquainted with the idea that I may have aspergers and so I'm learning things about myself every day really.
Anyway I was in my friends house the other night and was actually having a good time socially. But everyone couldn't stop remarking about how much I shake my leg. I don't even realise I do it and it just seems normal to me. If I stop doing it things just don't feel right. It's like there's a weird internal stress that is making me do it and I find it makes me calm. My mate even remarked that I looked like I was on drugs or something because my leg was shaking so much. Is this a form of stimming?


I do this too!
I'm undiagnosed (primary care JUST messaged me today saying she was finding me a specialist), my biologics (thank the void i got rid of them...) would always say i was trying to get attention by doing it after my little sibling was diagnosed with ADHD and would otherwise shame, bully, mock, or chastise me for it. I literally do it constantly and have to put active thought into stopping to avoid attention. Im so afraid of getting looks.

However ive noticed since getting my braces off and being able to eat my favorite food (popcorn!) Again i will straight up start BOUNCING when genuinely happy. My husband noticed and commented i did the same thing on our honeymoon at various activities (buffetts mostly XD) and again at a vacation in the bahamas- whenever i'm overwhelmed with positivity i dont smile, laugh, or shout i bounce *harder*. Since connecting the dots we've found ive done this forever.

But when im stressed or nervous i hold very still except for the vibrating tap of my right leg, which i'll force myself to stop out of fear of more attention which will equal more stress.

Veterans and experts, and OP, is this a stim??

I do the bouncing thing and for me it's a stim. The leg shaking thing could also be a stim. A lot of my stims give me anxiety and make me uncomfortable if I resist doing them.


_________________
I use he/him pronouns.

I like playing video games, watching cartoons and anime, reading, and cooking.

I have two cats, a rabbit, and a dog. I also enjoy learning + cataloguing information about different types of animals and plants.

Empathy Quotient: 34/80
Systemizing Quotient: 104/150
Friendship Quotient: 56/140
Autism Quotient: 36/80

RAADS-R: 169

CAT-Q: 153
Compensation: 57
Masking: 47
Assimilation: 49

Your broader autism cluster (Aspie) score: 144 of 200.
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 63 of 200.
You are very likely on the broader autism cluster (Aspie).


OccasionalSeagull
Tufted Titmouse
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Joined: 14 Sep 2021
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16 Sep 2021, 3:27 pm

HeroOfHyrule wrote:
OccasionalSeagull wrote:
JoeRose wrote:
I'm just about becoming acquainted with the idea that I may have aspergers and so I'm learning things about myself every day really.
Anyway I was in my friends house the other night and was actually having a good time socially. But everyone couldn't stop remarking about how much I shake my leg. I don't even realise I do it and it just seems normal to me. If I stop doing it things just don't feel right. It's like there's a weird internal stress that is making me do it and I find it makes me calm. My mate even remarked that I looked like I was on drugs or something because my leg was shaking so much. Is this a form of stimming?


I do this too!
I'm undiagnosed (primary care JUST messaged me today saying she was finding me a specialist), my biologics (thank the void i got rid of them...) would always say i was trying to get attention by doing it after my little sibling was diagnosed with ADHD and would otherwise shame, bully, mock, or chastise me for it. I literally do it constantly and have to put active thought into stopping to avoid attention. Im so afraid of getting looks.

However ive noticed since getting my braces off and being able to eat my favorite food (popcorn!) Again i will straight up start BOUNCING when genuinely happy. My husband noticed and commented i did the same thing on our honeymoon at various activities (buffetts mostly XD) and again at a vacation in the bahamas- whenever i'm overwhelmed with positivity i dont smile, laugh, or shout i bounce *harder*. Since connecting the dots we've found ive done this forever.

But when im stressed or nervous i hold very still except for the vibrating tap of my right leg, which i'll force myself to stop out of fear of more attention which will equal more stress.

Veterans and experts, and OP, is this a stim??

I do the bouncing thing and for me it's a stim. The leg shaking thing could also be a stim. A lot of my stims give me anxiety and make me uncomfortable if I resist doing them.


If its ok with you, and please by all means feel free to tell me "no" (I wish more people accepted that word...) would you feel comfortable describing some of the unpleasantness accompanied by resisting?

This comes from a place of pure curiosity that medical journals and studies I've read just haven't satisfied. They don't sound like real people, as informative as they are :?


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"I'm laughing because its not funny :D"
-Me almost daily


HeroOfHyrule
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16 Sep 2021, 3:42 pm

OccasionalSeagull wrote:
If its ok with you, and please by all means feel free to tell me "no" (I wish more people accepted that word...) would you feel comfortable describing some of the unpleasantness accompanied by resisting?

This comes from a place of pure curiosity that medical journals and studies I've read just haven't satisfied. They don't sound like real people, as informative as they are :?

When I resist stimming it just overall makes me very tense and gives me a growing sense of overwhelm, and if I have to stim via a specific part of my body (like hand flapping) it makes that part of my body feel especially uncomfortable and tense. It's honestly similar to the feeling I get from my compulsions (if I don't pick out strands of hair my scalp hurts and I feel tense, if I don't vocal tic my throat feels tense, etc.), but it isn't as intense or persistent, doesn't give me the same "type" of anxiety, and is due to needing sensory and/or emotional regulation VS being "compelled" to do those things.


_________________
I use he/him pronouns.

I like playing video games, watching cartoons and anime, reading, and cooking.

I have two cats, a rabbit, and a dog. I also enjoy learning + cataloguing information about different types of animals and plants.

Empathy Quotient: 34/80
Systemizing Quotient: 104/150
Friendship Quotient: 56/140
Autism Quotient: 36/80

RAADS-R: 169

CAT-Q: 153
Compensation: 57
Masking: 47
Assimilation: 49

Your broader autism cluster (Aspie) score: 144 of 200.
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 63 of 200.
You are very likely on the broader autism cluster (Aspie).


kraftiekortie
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16 Sep 2021, 4:35 pm

I don't really "stim," in the sense where I feel that I "have" to do it, otherwise I'll have a meltdown.

But I enjoy doing certain verbal stims, and they drive some of the people on the subway crazy :P

I really enjoy rocking in any chair----to the point where I have to watch out within certain chair.



AnomalousAspergian
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18 Sep 2021, 5:06 pm

I have a piece of lace which I call a tickler. I run it along my neck and arms but only at home. I think I would be too self-conscious of doing such a thing in public. Well, I have sometimes but only across the neck. I usually do another thing involving putting my little fingers together so that the nail of my little finger is pushing under the other. It sounds painful but it's not actually. Well, not to me.

Another thing that may be considered stimming is my tendency to tickle my fingers with the corner of the collar of my shirt or the sleeves. This is something I have done since I was a baby as I do, believe it or not, have a memory of doing it when being picked up. I don't know how common this is among other autistics?? 8O Hee hee!



autisticelders
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20 Sep 2021, 6:00 am

yes, my husband wiggles or bounces his foot almost constantly, is not even aware he is doing it. It is a stim that allows him to keep the rest of himself quiet while he does other things. ( he denies he is autistic, but I sure see lots of signs of that after 40 years of living together LOL)