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Benjamin the Donkey
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19 Sep 2021, 9:33 pm

Fnord wrote:
[opinion=mine]

A "Good" person sincerely thinks and acts for the benefit of others without expecting a reward or a return of favor; while a "Nice" person only puts on an act with the intent (expressed or implied) of receiving a reward or a return of favor at some later time.

Example: A "Good" guy will help a stranded motorist change a tire on a rainy day and refuse any reward of any kind; while a "Nice" guy would help the same stranded motorist only if she was a pretty woman, all the while while hitting on her for a date.


[/opinion]


I'd add the "niceness" can also include socially ingrained but supercfial behaviors like politeness and smiling. I'm sometimes considered not "nice" because I'm tend to be blunt and sat what I think. However, I think Im a basically good person.


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Fnord
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19 Sep 2021, 9:42 pm

Benjamin the Donkey wrote:
Fnord wrote:
[opinion=mine]

A "Good" person sincerely thinks and acts for the benefit of others without expecting a reward or a return of favor; while a "Nice" person only puts on an act with the intent (expressed or implied) of receiving a reward or a return of favor at some later time.

Example: A "Good" guy will help a stranded motorist change a tire on a rainy day and refuse any reward of any kind; while a "Nice" guy would help the same stranded motorist only if she was a pretty woman, all the while while hitting on her for a date.


[/opinion]
I'd add the "niceness" can also include socially ingrained but supercfial behaviors like politeness and smiling. I'm sometimes considered not "nice" because I'm tend to be blunt and sat what I think. However, I think I'm a basically good person.
Agreed.  It is possible to be good without being nice (like aspies), and to be nice without being good (like sociopaths).



UncannyDanny
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19 Sep 2021, 9:48 pm

Sometimes I'm nice....

Other times....I tend to be a jerk, because of....reasons.


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Bustduster
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20 Sep 2021, 6:17 pm

Some are, some aren't. Just like NTs.



Jakki
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20 Sep 2021, 7:17 pm

Guess it depends on the environment a human is raised in , But with aspies , maybe the degree of autism might be a contributing factor. Or where they might fall on the spectrum. But environmental upbringing still might be the largest influencing factor.


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Bustduster
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21 Sep 2021, 8:43 am

UncannyDanny wrote:
Sometimes I'm nice....

Other times....I tend to be a jerk, because of....reasons.


That's the other important point - people are complex beings, often capable of being nice in certain circumstances and jerks in others (I'm applying that as much to myself as anyone else, btw) - but I don't think that's exclusive to people on the spectrum.



AprilR
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21 Sep 2021, 10:01 am

I don't think all autistic people are nice people, that's for sure. I do think we have a tendency to be honest though which is mostly a good thing. But it is because most autistics are bad at deception/manipulation bc of low emotional intelligence. So it is not because they choose to be that way, they are just wired that way.



Tim_Tex
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21 Sep 2021, 10:14 am

It varies as much with us as it does with NTs.

If you’ve met one Aspie, you’ve met one Aspie.


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naturalplastic
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21 Sep 2021, 10:32 am

All aspies are nice people.

And anyone that sez otherwise...I will KICK YOUR ASS!! !! ! :twisted:

I will beat and torture you ...until you admit that I am a nice guy!! !!



Jakki
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21 Sep 2021, 11:05 am

LoL @ naturalplastics post.
Are aspies nice people , if your wired to honesty emotional or otherwise. How does a Aspie rationalize
Masking....? At best for a Aspie it might have to become a artform. Dealing with NTs and their daily ,if not hourly subtrefuge . It becomes a survival skill it would seem . That is not easily rationalized by this Aspie. If you watch attorneys and their like , and the degree of double speak they use , it should be considered criminal in nature . Have seen this too often . And having been forced into situations
where i have to deal with it much more than i ever expected in life. Have had to look closely at what these types say to me. And if your not primed for it ? People like these can create great amounts of suffering upon you . Persons in charge of public safety, Your safety can and will use it to your disadvantage. Would consider it best to have, at least a advocate with you, whom knows your issues, if you ever have to deal with these types. But generally, i like to think that most aspies are nice people.


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SadGhost
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21 Sep 2021, 11:09 am

I don't know many aspies IRL. I had a friend in the past who I suspected was also on the spectrum, but she never disclosed to me. The only person I know of that has "come out" as having Aspergers on social media (late diagnosis at age 26) is a very mean, ego-fueled narcissist who mocks anyone who he deems "lower functioning" - which includes people with stutters. He certainly doesn't give aspies a good name.


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magnum233
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23 Sep 2021, 11:27 am

Mostly. Were honest to a t, sadly a blank face can be mistaken for unhappy. Blank face doesn't mean not smiling on the inside.


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UncannyDanny
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23 Sep 2021, 3:46 pm

SadGhost wrote:
I don't know many aspies IRL. I had a friend in the past who I suspected was also on the spectrum, but she never disclosed to me. The only person I know of that has "come out" as having Aspergers on social media (late diagnosis at age 26) is a very mean, ego-fueled narcissist who mocks anyone who he deems "lower functioning" - which includes people with stutters. He certainly doesn't give aspies a good name.

From which source did you get that information from, if I may ask? :|


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magnum233
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23 Sep 2021, 11:00 pm

SadGhost wrote:
I don't know many aspies IRL. I had a friend in the past who I suspected was also on the spectrum, but she never disclosed to me. The only person I know of that has "come out" as having Aspergers on social media (late diagnosis at age 26) is a very mean, ego-fueled narcissist who mocks anyone who he deems "lower functioning" - which includes people with stutters. He certainly doesn't give aspies a good name.


Its possible he lacks intellectual stimulation. As the guy ages he will hopefully mellow and learn the use of tact. There are usually underlying reasons as to why people act out this way, we aspies are no different. I often vent online my frustration of not being able to talk in a manner that i grew up speaking online in, im in my 40's and the world i grew up in is quite different today. If i start speaking in that way online many people dont get it and im passed off as a nut case rather than people replying in kind with random and silly comments seeing it for what it is. The world was a nicer place in the 90's.

He has probably had some experiences that contributed to forming opinions about how people are maybe was bullied and picked on at school. Eventually after a time of being alone he'll find that he lacks real communication and human company, sadly something us aspies can't get around. Something that must be hard wired into the human psyche.


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26 Sep 2021, 4:44 pm

On a personal level I try to be fair. I do try and see things from other people's points of view.

But on the other hand I know that there have been times in my life where I have shown no compassion. I have been cruel. I have broken the law. I have behaved in a completely unorthodox manner and have been an absolute c**t.

On the other hand I can be quite charming when I want to be.



hariboci
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05 Oct 2021, 6:43 am

smudge wrote:
I've noticed a very common trait amongst those on the ND spectrum: They can make MASSIVE, GINORMOUS assumptions about you, and completely misunderstand you.

This is very true, I have the same experience.

Being nice - no, usually they are not nice, but kind.
My definition is the same as FNord's (just substitute GOOD with KIND).


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